Everyone wants to know about the latest advances in gear. We don’t currently have the time or the resources to test every piece of ski equipment, but we do our best to review all the gear that comes our way. We encourage you to send us reviews of equipment as well. Let us know if there is a specific piece of gear you would like to see us cover.
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 11: Slopestyle
In 1964, United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously wrote in a landmark ruling on obscenity that he didn’t necessarily know how to define pornography, but, “I know it when I see it.” Supreme Court of Style Justice FBD recently somewhat infamously wrote, “Unlike that old dude looking at porn, I DO know how to define style: I just look in the mirror.”
Since sadly, most of you don’t have the wonderful and life-changing opportunity to see me in the mirror each day, I believe I can help you all along by describing how you can each approximate and adapt these daily visions of greatness to your own lives. Ready? Let’s do this.
One of the secrets to having good style is getting your lazy ass out of bed to actually make it out to ski (I’m looking at you, Rob Magee). We’re all busy, but thankfully God has created this wonderful elixir of life, known as coffee. This magical potion works wonders to right all of the wrongs in the world and a cup of this particular top-secret FBD brew will have you up fixing your doghouse until 2:00 in the morning (true story about FBD’s first cup of coffee).
After that first faithful experience with this miracle compound:
I knew I was on to something. From that day forward, both my life and my training was forever changed — here is actual footage of my current morning routine after just two cups of this coffee. A simple rule I try to live my life by was aptly and succinctly summarized by my 80’s man-crush, Wham front man, George Michael, “If you’re gonna do it, do it right,” (I mean really, does it get any cooler than tambourine gloves? I don’t think so.) So if you’re a coffee drinker, well, hell, do it right, buy the good stuff, and get mother f’n TURNT! Available at Amazon.
You should all know by now that looking good is essential, but you’re never going to look good if you’ve shivering like a Florida resident when the mercury hits 68°F. Your mom is not going to show up to the tracks with grilled cheese sandwiches with the crusts cut off and a thermos of chicken noodle soup. Grow up. Buy a real baselayer and go attack that cold. This baby is the best of both worlds: a synthetic inner layer for comfort and a wicking, wool outer layer for warmth. If it is good enough for Andy Newell, then it’s good enough for you. Buy one and go work on your backflips. Available at CraftSports.us.
Western gunslinger, riverboat captain, ’80s ski bum: what do all of these colorful characters have in common?
They all rock a vest. So while hopefully you’ll never be in an actual gun fight, pilot a paddlewheel steamboat down the mighty ‘Miss-a-sip,’ or do blow off of a pocket mirror in the gondi, you can exude the best of all of these styles with this warm, chic and bumpin’ apres-ski dealie. Available at Patagonia.com.
Speaking of classic styles, this FBD BP is a good one. Last year during one of our puffy coat reviews, the fine folks at L.L. Bean completely disregarded my extremely simple instructions and sent this.
To be fair, they actually did follow the instructions and sent what was requested, they simply added a few other pieces, which in the end turned out to be quite clever, as I’m writing about it now. The point here (and trust me, there is a point) is that this is a very different piece: it’s not for everyone, but for the right person, it is awesome. Our whole test team has grown to love it. As I wrote in the review, this thing folds to the approximate size of my Great Dane, weighs more than me after a plate of nachos and 10 beers, and has an outer layer that feels like it can stop a bullet. This is not necessarily a bad thing though, for after some of these reviews, I now seem to have a lot of enemies. It is currently residing in the closet of Josh Smullin, which is good, for while I may have some enemies, this pales in comparison to the number of people Smullin has alienated over the years. Available at L.L. Bean.
We’ve had a few “twofers” along the way in our magically little journey here together and get ready for another: I suppose I’m a teeny, tiny bit conflicted over this concept, as technically any one of these suggestions could be purchased individually, therein violating the carefully allocated price range guidelines, but being a glass half-full (of bourbon) guy, I look at these scenarios as being very Candide-esque, in that they are the best of all possible worlds. Sure, you can buy any one of these individual gifts, but like pairing a good wine with an excellent meal, finding that perfect hat/buff/glove combo, or exquisitely matching your entire cycling kit, these twofer offerings compliment each other beautifully, therein making the entire ensemble that much more stylish and exquisite.
In this case the twofer in question are glasses. Not just any glasses though, sun glasses. Fun glasses. Kick-ass, you’ve gotta have’em glasses: you know, shades, specs, blinkers, sunnies (for all of my friends down under), nippers, cheaters, or as my Swiss buddies call them, sonnenbrille. For anyone who knows me even a little bit, I’m sure that you’re stunned that it took us to Day 11 before sonnenbrille came up, but hey, it’s because Days 1 – 10 were just that good. This says a lot, too, as FBD loves sunglasses. And the official FBD brand of choice? Oakleys. Sure, there are some other good brands out there, but the FBD is an OG…
… Oakley G from BITD. Plus,if you grew up watching this guy, you pretty much HAD to be a fan of the brand:
So sure, one pair of Oaks is good and it obviously stands to reason that two pairs are twice as nice, but there’s more to it than that — there is an exponential increase in steez with two pairs and here’s why — people wearing sport shades in a leisure setting should immediately be put to death. This is a HUGE FBD pet peeve. Nothing screams maniac like driving to work in sport glasses.Why don’t you just go blow up an orphanage? Show some goddamn self respect and wear sport glasses while training and rep some “lifestyle” shades everyplace else. I don’t care if you’re sporting top of the line model from any brand, if you’re driving around in your sport glasses, you look like that meathead cop that pulls you over in the BluBlockers that he got at the gas station. Don’t be “that guy.”
FYI, the converse is also true — busting out a ski in “fashion glasses,” conjures images of Tyler and Ryder and we all know what happened to them.
Was it the bad shades that led them down to road to dope or the dope that took them down the path of truly tragic eyewear? I suppose it doesn’t really matter, as either way it’s a lose-lose. Or loser-loser. Don’t risk it. Save your babysitting money so you can a good pair of each.
Now that we’re straight on all of that, do yourself right with a pair of each of these dope shades (get it?) Why? Because the 1.0 is for suckers. Are you a sucker? I didn’t think so, so stop asking stupid questions and go get’em. For sport, Oakley Wind Jacket 2.0. Available at Oakley.com.
For street, the Turbine. Look like you’re getting ready to hang with De Niro in Vegas (except for the fact that your wife won’t let you go to Vegas, you would be terrified at all of the germs in that filthy town, and you’re in the middle of an intensity block so there’s no way in hell you’re disrupting your training now, but work with me here people). Available at Oakley.com.
Oakley, the official thermonuclear ocular protection of these goons
OK everyone, easy out there — get those minds of out the gutter, I’m talking SKI poles here. Since “truthiness” is my speciality, please allow me to clarify that I’ve only had these for a few skis, but these come to me from longtime friend, Birkie winner and trusted advisor, Matt Liebsch, or “Leaper,” as he likes to be called. Leaper explained to me in excruciating detail why these poles are catching on big-time for interestingly enough, biathletes and marathon classic racers (a weird mix, I know). Ole Einar Bjørndalen (the most decorated Winter Olympian and overall most winning biathlete of all time) uses these and since he is the MAN, these bad boys made the cut.
As you all know though, I am exceedingly careful to not recommend products that I haven’t personally tested for months or even years, so this suggestion is coming to you with the caveat that my testing on these has been quite limited. If you want to be the first kid on the block with the latest gadget and you’re serious about pulling the trigger now, my advice is to call Leaper, get the full 411, and proceed accordingly. This way if you love them, I can take all of the credit for making the recommendation, but if you hate them, it’s Matt’s fault for explaining them poorly, not mine. The word on the street is that these are hard to get, so don’t dilly dally or you’ll be left watching longingly as the technology train pulls away from the platform, leaving you standing there with your crappy old poles, like a sucker. Available at PioneerMidwest.com.
I KNEW I should have bought those new poles. How has my life gone so wrong?
Finally, it has come to my attention that some readers are not grasping the importance of yesterday’s public service message and the severity of the problem that this presents when I am driving to and from races, so let me again reiterate: the left lane of an expressway is a passing line, not a driving lane, a PASSING lane. Let’s review: the left lane is a PASSING lane, not a driving line. If you are not actively passing another automobile at a reasonable rate, you should be in the driving lane, not the passing lane, as the left lane is for passing. Driving? No. Passing.
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If you’re wondering how the hell we got here, or you just love my beautifully crafted preamble so much that you revisit every day before heading off to face the challenges of the working world, the introduction and backstory can be found here. If unlike most of America, you actually spend you time at work, working, you may have missed some of the previous days and they can be found here: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9 | Day 10
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 10: More Clothing
On Day 8 you learned the rule, “If some is good, more is better,” so now that this has been established, Learn It, Know It, Live It. Good news, too, as we now have more clothing suggestions. And remember, more is ALWAYS better, whether we’re talking about training, sex, sleeping or gear. No exceptions. Ever.
Occam’s Razor states that oftentimes the simplest explanation is the best. The FBD gear corollary is that sometimes the simplest gear is the best: case in point, this slick L.L. Bean hat. While there is most certainly nothing ground-breaking about incorporating an LED light into a hat, I find myself grabbing this baby all of the time, whether it is for a late-night, dog-bathroom emergency, a quick jaunt to the mailbox after dark or any one of the other thousand activities that seem to rear their ugly head now that it gets dark around 2:00 p.m. Light, warm, useful and inexpensive, this hats checks all of those boxes and then some. Available at L.L. Bean.
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$30 – $100: Salomon Trail Runner Short Sleeve Tee, $45
Over the course of this very riveting series we have been getting you kitted out with the latest in greatest in summer hard goods, but what about soft goods? There’s never a bad time to give summer gear, even if you are someplace with single-digit temps currently. As you may recall from my detergent-torture testing, I put this summer training top through its paces, and then some, this past summer. Not only is it cool (as in, ‘not hot’,), but it’s also cool, as in “Fonzie cool” (look it up). On top of that, it’s ‘colorway’ is a FBD favorite, “Please Don’t Hit Me” neon green. Here it is in action, after not having been washed for 12 workouts. Certain sizes & colors on sale for $20 (+$7.95 shipping) at Amazon.
While we’ve talked a lot in this series about looking good on the tracks, we haven’t talked a whole lot about looking good off the tracks. I’m all about helping all of my disciples in all aspects of their lives, so I am very pleased to recommend one of my favorite flannel shirts for not just Apres, but “All-pres.” Before any of you mini-Gloria Steinem’s out there get all worked up, this is a unisex suggestion. The one night at the West Yellowstone Ski Festival I was able to sneak away from the ever-watchful eye of Coach Smullin for an adult beverage (in reality, it wasn’t all that hard to sneak away, as he joined me), we hit the one and only hot spot in West, the Holiday Inn (I am willing to bet big money that this is the first time in which this sentence was ever written) for the Buffs/Utes football game. Since these are also both big skiing schools, there was an assortment of very cute uber-frauleins (UFs) athletes, coaches and alumni from CU, UU, APU and a few other places with initials. Several of the ladies were rocking some variation of the “fakerjack” outfit and they all looked good. Quite good. So much so that every 30 seconds, some greasy wax tech was asking me to be introduced to someone that we were kicking it with in the mighty HI (again, who says that? Can you imagine intentionally going to a Holiday Inn? I was there and I still can’t believe it). The point here being that these are not just men’s shirts. And there is ONE Holiday Inn where cool people actually hang out, let’s not forget that part, as I still find this remarkable.
As a quick aside, in case you were wondering about Smullin and I going out “on a school night,” not only was it a Saturday night with no official team training the next morning, but for the record, Josh and each only had 2.5 beers. That’s right faithful readers, Josh Smullin and I split a beer. #NewLevelNordicNerd
If by some stroke of fate you’ve made it this far into this shirt review that has yet to mention the shirt itself, thanks for hanging in there with me on the metaphorical victory lap. Lots of people make flannel shirts, but Filson are some of my favorite: this review is literally being typed in a tried and true old soldier that has seen its fair share of action, well, in as much as you can consider sitting at a keyboard typing, “action.” To make sure that their quality hasn’t gone to hell, I checked out two new models and every indication is that the current crop is a good as those from yesteryear. I like these shirts so much in fact that I’m going to recommend two different models. The Alaskan Guide shirt is a great all-around offering, with the thicker one better for athletes who chill easily and the Lightweight model preferable for those who hate being too warm (like me).
FBD Pro Tip: These shirts are listed as having “Alaska sizing,” whatever the hell that means. Since you are undoubtedly asking yourself, “What the hell does that mean?”, here is my theory on this: Poet Carl Sandburg called Chicago, “The City of Broad Shoulders,” but the last time I was in Chicago, I had a steak and four martinis in the restaurant of my luxury hotel. The last time I was in Alaska, I skied 6 -8 hours/day in 0.1° C weather, slept on a glacier for a week, then spent another week in a cabin in Talkeetna that had no running water.
And this is nothing special for AK — you get laughed out of the room if you brought this up at a party up there thinking it was something rugged — everyone I know from AK is tough as hell and would consider this an “easy week”. When I reported on Eagle Glacier last year, I unearthed several hysterical stories about what has transpired in The Last Frontier, my favorite of which being Andy Newell’s story about Rob Whitney’s midnight sleep screams: apparently Rob would wake up in the middle of the night yelling at the top of his lungs, “We need to get off the glacier, we’re all going to die!!!!” I had dinner with Rob and his lovely, also tough-as-nails wife Holly Brooks this past summer and when the story came up, Rob calmly said, “Well, that wasn’t as bad as the time I started sleepwalking and held a knife to one of my (male) teammate’s throats.” That’s right, only in Alaska (and maybe Philly) can you wake up with one of your friends holding a knife at your throat while sleeping on a glacier and training 50 hours/week. You’ve just gotta be tough to survive that. I’m not quite sure on all of the underlying physiology at work here, but it stands to reason that if you have to regularly wrestle a giant, naked, Rob Whitney off you (yes, he was naked during this whole sordid incident) while he’s brandishing a knife, if you don’t die, you’re going to develop some pretty big shoulders.
Where am I going with all of this? The shirts run big. So order one up now, do those push-ups (or call up Rob to inquire about his availability for some naked, midnight knife wresting) get it broken in just the right amount to not have that loser, “fresh out da box” look and who knows, maybe even you will have some rap with the hot UF’s next year at the Holiday Inn. Doubtful, but maybe. Available at Filson.com.
Finally, here’s another FBD pro tip: don’t let anyone see you splitting a beer, anywhere, ever. Smullin and I might as well been wearing burkas at a Trump rally after that little misstep. Sharing a beer with another dude in a bar in Montana goes over like a fart in church.
Being the high-performance director for USA Nordic Combined and Ski Jumping, I am fortune enough to be issued all of the team gear and this piece is a team favorite: light, warm and extremely packable, this versatile piece can be stuffed into your backpack or briefcase and deployed as need as a pillow, blanket, sensory depravation tank, bad-ass fort (think killing time on long layovers in European airports) and here’s a crazy one, even as a jacket. Available at L.L. Bean.
Instead of blankets, think L.L. Bean jacket. Instead of the living room of your parents’ house, think Munich International airport. Instead of ironing boards, think Bryan and Taylor Fletcher.
Let’s face it, skiing can be cold. But watching skiing (in person, not on TV) can be crazy cold. If you are a good person, parent, teammate or coach, chances are you’ll find yourself out standing in the middle of some field somewhere cold (not to be confused with being outstanding in your field). When you’re on one of those bone-chilling skis, you can simply ramp up the intensity to warm yourself up, but spectating, well, you’re essentially on a gradual descent into hell (well, a frozen version of hell). The solution, which is easier said than done, is to not get cold in the first place. This jacket is the single best way to achieve temperature nirvana, as noted in our gear review last year (Please note my Labradoresque ‘head out the window’ testing). This beast won our Puffy Coat Review last season for good reason. By one now and never worry about being cold again. Available at Arcteryx.com.
Finally, here is an important public service message: the left lane of an expressway is a passing line people, not a driving lane, a PASSING lane. For anyone who may have questions on this ridiculously simple concept (and in most states, law), here is an excellent tutorial.
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 9: Techy Tech
Tech is to skiing what David Lee Roth is to Van Halen. You can try to remove this part of the equation, but the end-result just isn’t the same (Sammy Hager era, anyone, anyone?) The ultimate checkmate for any technology hater is that regardless of what year and model skis for which they currently launching some unhinged rant — you know exactly about the person and the speech that I’m talking about here — the one that starts, continues and ends with lines like, “This is all you need, all you’ll ever need, I’ve been using these for years and they’re fine….”, the best way to get them off their high horse is to simply point out that at some point, technology made THAT particular pair of skis (or whatever) state of the art. Sure, maybe it was during the Eisenhower administration, but the point is technology drives innovation and vice versa. Do you need new skis every year? If you’re me, yes, but we all know that I’m special. I’ll let each of you out there in the studio audience answer that question for yourself, but the point here is the regardless of your own, personal, technology life cycle, technology is a wonderful part of our sport. Embrace it accordingly, knowing full well that if you’re a fat, lazy, turd, with no style, new skis will just make you a fat, lazy, turd, with no style, on new skis.
At first blush, this may not appear to be that ground-breaking a recommendation, but dry, chapped lips have oft been described as “the worst aliment ever.” I tend to agree. Not only is this the ultimate rap killer (who wants to kiss cracked, pasty, lizard lips?), but it’s just downright unpleasant for all involved. Not to mention, do we even need to go into what can happen when you sunburn your lips?
Do yourself a favor and buy about 10 of these — stick them in your training jacket, your car, your drink belt, everywhere you can think of, as nothing is worse than wanting to apply some nice soothing lip balm and not having one available. Be advised, these are very popular with Great Dane puppies, so please prepare accordingly, though apparently my Great Dane Pwolfgang is in good company:
Usually available at Amazon or even better, come to the West Yellowstone Ski Festival next year and pick up a few of these from our buds at Freeheel and Wheel. This shop does a great job supporting an incredible numbers of skiers in this week, it’s the best coffee in town, and they offer a great assortment of nordic gear for anything you forgot or suddenly decided you need to replace when you wake up to this:
When it’s cold, I mean really, REALLY cold (like it was this morning in West Yellowstone) (see screen capture of today’s weather, above), you don’t just want these gloves, you need these gloves. The split finger design is the best of both worlds: the heat of a mitten and the dexterity (most of it, anyway) of a gloves. A must-have for all skiers. Go for the dope “Winter Warrior” colourway too, because, well, you can. Available at TokoUS.com.
I know, I know, a few different outwear offerings had popped up in our travels here together, but that’s only because jackets are so frickin’ cool (because they keep you hot). Trust me though, there is most definitely a method to my madness, as each and every one of these pieces is specially designed and surgically targeted for highly tactical strikes on the local coffee shop. There, see what I just did? I got myself on a government watch list, just so you could look cool. The things I do for you people… Available at Salomon.com.
On Day 6 we very clearly covered why summer training tools are in play in this holiday gift guide, so if you’re arriving late to the party and you’re getting your panties in a wad about this…
One of my Princeton rowing teammates used to say, “Don’t be a rhino” to people who were being stubborn or uncooperative, so this image is therefore appropriate at many levels.
… the very cogent and logical line of reasoning supporting this theory can be found here.
Regardless of whether you went back and read my recommendation for summer rollerski boots just now or if you’ve been playing along at home to this game all along, I bet you can see where this is going: if you have sweet, new summer-specific boots, you’re most certainly going to need some new whap sticks, right, as the last thing you want to have happen is you show up looking all funky fresh but then get laughed out of the workout due to your clapped out rollerskis? You know the drill by now, do it right and go for the best. How do I know that these are the best? Because we tested them, silly (classic and skate). All of the top three skis in each review are “da bomb,” but if you’re tight on cash the Pursuits are a great value and the IDTs are just SO silky smooth, you’ll hate yourself forever if you don’t buck up for these. Available at RollerskiShop.com and IDTSports.com.
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 8: More Gear
The classic rule in endurance athletics is, “If some is good, more is better,” and never is that more true than in the world of gear. If you’re comfortable, fast and sexy with some gear, well, you do the math, you’ll be even more comfortable, more fast, and more sexy with MORE gear. And what’s wrong with being sexy?
In his play Twelfth Night, William Shakespeare wrote, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” I suppose I am very fortunate, as I have managed to check all three boxes: I was born a great person, I achieved greatness in a number of business and athletic pursuits, and what has been thrust upon me? Well, after my ground-breaking and lengthy expose on dirty underwear and single men’s mission to avoid laundry (and thusly avoid any sort of sexual contact whatsoever), I have found myself thrust into the role of “BO Analyst and Advisor,” a moniker I wear proudly.
PT Barnum is believed to have authored the phrase, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” and this is a simple rule that I have now embraced. In the days following the publication of our laundry detergent review, I have literally been stopped every day on the tracks and been asked some variation of, “Did you really wear your underwear for 10 days without washing them?” Or, “Did that stuff really work?” or my favorite, “What the hell is wrong with you?” The answers to those questions are, ‘Yes,’ ‘Yes,’ and “A lot.’ Like my boy PT says though, “No such thing as bad publicity,” so I’m just rolling with this.
Given this, when the boys up in the Toko R&D lab hit me up with their version of a baselayer restoration treatment, who was I to say no? Is it weird to have dudes stopping me to talk about washing (or not washing) their undies? A lesser man may buckle under the weight of these expectations and occasionally sexually-awkward inferences, but not me, I have never been one to back down from a challenge. Apparently the world needs an ambassador to fresh drawers and I’m the guy without a chair when the music stopped, so let’s do this.
Toko’s take is a little different than DeFUNKit, as the Toko product is NOT a detergent, rather a treatment that is applied during the fabric softener cycle. It is also designed to reduce odor that has accumulated in baselayers through repeated usage, but it’s prime objective is to restore your gear’s original wicking and softness. The timing for testing this was perfect too, for thanks to the West Yellowstone Ski Festival training camp, business travel and another trip back to West for a biathlon race, a certain someone had not done laundry in quite some time.
I was reluctant to use the Toko treatment on DeFUNKit treated clothes, as any good scientist learns very early in their career to “Never cross the streams.” The concern here is that I didn’t want the success or failure of one product to influence that of another and since all of you weirdos out there are apparently starved for regular updates on my underwear, a long-term DeFUNKit test is now also underway, so we’re going to keep these two test completely separate.
Not “crossing the streams” wasn’t a problem either. Since I’ve been traveling for about a month and observant readers will recall that we had control groups in the smell testing protocol, I had no shortage of smelly, non-DeFUNKit treated clothing which was put to the Toko test.
As much as I would love to spend eight more pages going into excruciating details of this entire process, a plethora of colorful smell references, and thinly veiled swipes at Dan Weiland’s social skills (no pun intended), my editors have threatened to kill me if I repeat that performance, so this review is going to be much more brief. (Get it, BRIEFS … damn, I’m hilarious.)
Does it work? Yes. Since my evil overlords at FasterSkier will have nervous breakdowns if I launch into another FBD sex-and-smell rant, I’m going to keep it simple here. Overall, even well-worn baselayers did emerge from the laundry feeling softer. The clock was really ticking on this one, so in the interest of full disclosure it is important to note that I was only able to get in one ski in the newly treated clothing, but the wicking properties most assuredly did indeed feel better. By design, I picked a very old, beaten up Craft top and undie combo, so the potential for improvement was substantial. We don’t yet have any data on the effects of this wash treatment on newer clothing, but in my mind this is somewhat analogous to washing an already clean car. If your base layers are still wicking like new, is there any point to applying a treatment that will restore their performance to “like new?” Ya follow?
So once again, here I am rolling around in the dirt in order to help all of you help smell better. That’s OK though, as there are many worse things to have thrust upon you (insert your own ‘thrust joke’ here). Available at TokoUS.com.
No self-respecting skier starts their day without a cup of coffee. In my travels around the globe with some of the world’s best skiers, I’ve also noticed a correlation between ski speed and amount of energy expended preparing said coffee. If I’m staying at someone’s house and I see them embarking on a 45-minute process to grow, roast, grind, press, steam, aerate, and serve coffee, I am immediately on high alert that the day’s ski will likely be fast. If they spend 15 more minutes explaining why they’re preparing it JUST this way and why this way is so much better, I know I am most likely in for a tough day.
While good coffee is better than bad coffee, bad coffee is still better than spilled coffee, so I am going to recommend the single best vessel to transport your liquid gold. I’m going on four years of use and testing with this particular model and have had so much success that frequent copycat and worshiper of FBD style, Josh Smullin, FINALLY went out and got one of these of his own after years of attempt to steal mine. Available at Amazon.
I don’t know if there is any bigger drag than flying to a race or a training camp only to discover that your gear was damaged en route. Thanks to the gorilla-like baggage handlers on a few of my “favorite” domestic airlines, I’ve suffered damage to skis, boots, poles, you name it. High-end carbon racing poles are particularly susceptible to breakage, as while they can withstand significant vertical loading, (even though I can, and do, ski “through them”), they are extremely fragile laterally and are easily damaged with this type of force vector. The solution? Never, ever travel without a pole tube. One of the other staffers picked this as well and it got thrown in on Day 3, but my description is much funnier and it important that my loyal fans know that my official stamp of approval is hereby placed upon this recommendation. Buy it where we told you on Day 3.
Look around any World Cup venue and you’ll see more of these bags than any other on both coaches and athletes alike? Why? Because this baby holds more crap and organizes your ski gear better than anything else out there. Available at TokoUS.com.
This pick is a little kooky (but you’re a nordic skier, so you are as well) and yeah, most of you aren’t ever going to actually use this, but for those that do, greatness shall be bestowed upon you. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
World-class skiers using the mountable Ercolina Poling Machine, including French biathlete Martin Fourcade (l), Austrian long-distance skier Katerina Smutna (top right), and Norwegian long-distance skier Petter Eliassen. (Photos: Boulder Nordic Sport)
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If you’re wondering how the hell we got here, or you just love my beautifully crafted preamble so much that you revisit every day before heading off to face the challenges of the working world, the introduction and backstory can be found here. If unlike most of America, you actually spend you time at work, working, you may have missed some of the previous days and they can be found here: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 7: Canine Companions
Ah, man’s best friend — they will protect the house, help you meet girls (or boys) and most importantly, be loyal, faithful, lifelong companions on all of your adventures. The best part is that if you get a Labrador Retriever, they view even a simple trip to the grocery store as an adventure. And take it from an owner who’s had his lab puppy chew through his leash in order to free himself so he could go ripping through the grocery store at Mach 10 to find me, a lab puppy will make trips to even the most previously mundane locations an adventure for you, too.
Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve been in the produce section, minding your own business, when a frantic voice comes over the PA demanding that the owner of a black dog come to the front of the store immediately. Your first reaction will likely be, “Hmmm, I wonder who was dumb enough to bring their dog into the grocery store, what a dick…..” then the pieces will suddenly all come together and you’ll have to slink the to customer service desk with your tail between your legs. Life changing.
Dogs are also without a doubt the best training companions on the planet. They never complain about you going too fast, too slow, too long or too short. They’re equally stoked with an easy 30-minute recovery hike in the park or an epic four-hour mountain run. They seem to know when you’ve had a bad race and will quickly remind you that it was probably your skis fault. They’re also there to celebrate all of your wins by being the first to suggest a victory lap in the park, so it’s pretty much hard to beat the four-footed teammate. Given this, today’s offerings are focused on, and dedicated to, Canis lupus familiaris. Here are a few suggestions on how to optimally get the whole team as well prepared as possible for this season.
As innocuous as this may first appear, this gift probably has the highest ROI of any item in this entire series. For less than $15, you can increase the visibility of yourself and your hound over a hundredfold. In this day of distracted drivers (texting while driving is the drunk driving of the 21st century), you need to do everything you can to stay safe, in particular at night. The light has both a continuous beam and a “disco” mode, which provides amazing contrast and pierces the darkness.
What’s also very cool about this light is that is has both a clip and a bike mount, so you only need one light for all of your training disciplines. Clip one to Fido’s leash, another to the front of his collar and a third to your back and for less than $50, you’re now very visible to motorists in all directions. Rollerski? Same deal. Going for a ride? No problem, simply slide the clip into the included seat post bracket. Yes, meathead motorists will still pass you way too close, Philly drivers still call you an a-hole for daring to use “their” roads, but this little wonder will greatly increase your odds of making it home without serious incident. Be safe out there people. Shop local options or at Amazon.
The one potential downside to running with Rover is that holding a leash while your hyperactive, mega-amped Lab is charging down the road, sending the neighbor’s cat and all nearby squirrels scurrying for cover, is having a leash in one hand can upset your finely tuned running biomechanics. Sure, you have a back like Arnold from all of your DP workouts…
… but the asymmetry of your unruly beast straining at the length of the lead in one hand can fatigue and disrupt even the most fit double poler. I suppose one solution is to properly train your animal, but we discussed this at the FBD house and I was immediately voted down by the entire squad, as they felt that even the most sensitive and subtle dog training techniques were still far too fascist for their liking, so we instead opted for a hands-free leash. Not only does this allow me to keep both of my hands free to “Keep up foreign relations” whenever necessary with angry, East Coast motorists, but I’m going to let you in on a secret, if you’re running hill repeats and you’ve got a dog with some horsepower like Pdiggy…
… a little forward “mo” gently applied at the waist can really help those splits. Please feel free to use this pro tip at your own discretion in your next hill TT. Available at Ruffwear.com.
Mad props to my good buddy Billy Demong on this one. Billy D’s canine companion, Scout, has some crazy “wheels” on her, and, like Billy D, she’s a bit of a free spirit, so given the proximity of their property to open space and the propensity of wildlife in the area, occasionally Scout has been known to take a flyer. With this cool tracking device, not only are you immediately notified when your pooch leaves whatever area you designate, but you can then use a super slick app to track their exact location for the retrieval. If you’re extra lucky (like me), you can even use this feature to help facilitate a mid-run “feed” for human and canine alike (Pdiggy says ‘Thanks mom.’) Available at Whistle.com.
(*This gift suggestion was placed in the $100 – $250 category as it also requires an $8 monthly subscription, bringing the yearly cost to $175)
(Below: This is why Billy needs a GPS tracker for his dog. #BadAss)
https://www.instagram.com/p/m-wdcruGzm/
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Over $250: Life-changing, house-wrecking, upholstery-chewing lab puppy, $1,200
Actual dog. Yes, yes, I know, you read articles all of the time about how the holidays are a bad time to give dogs as a present, as it is a decision often made with emotion and the family hasn’t necessarily thought out the reality of owning a dog. My take on this is that stupid people make stupid decisions all year, so if you’re dumb enough to think that owning a dog isn’t a lot of work, you’re dumb enough to have that misconception year-round. To be clear, it IS a lot of work, especially if you pick a high-energy breed like a Lab, but if you’ve thought this through (like you should), you are willing to make approximately a 15 year commitment to this creature, you have the time, are prepared for “hidden expenses,” (vet bills, boarding, replacing TV remote controls) and understand that it is a big investment, you’re going to never regret it. Please, please, please, think it over carefully, talk to people who own one and consider adopting as well, but if you’re well-prepared, you’ll be glad you made the leap.
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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Day 6: SkiStyle
Ah, week two, so what’s new? I think we can all agree that sadly, there is a tremendous shortage of kindness and decency in this world. We all need to do our part to help remedy this, and I know at times it feels like there’s only so much you can do, which is a problem. But you know what is also a problem? A tragically under-reported, oft-misdiagnosed problem? Perhaps even a more serious problem? The complete lack of style that we have assaulting our retinas each day out there on the tracks. Yeah, it’s not cool when someone is rude or disrespectful in line at the bank, but showing up to ski in some junk-show, mismatched outfit is a direct assault on everything we value as a people. You can ignore that jerk at the bank, but you can’t “un-see” fashion crimes. By all means we should all try to be more understanding and compassionate to our fellow man, but for heaven’s sake, show up for your next ski with some style and self-respect.
Smartwool NTS Mid 250 Neck Gaiter, FBD pick for under $30
Nothing says steazy like being warm and comfortable and nothing keeps you more warm and comfortable than a good buff. The fact that it’s warm and stylish is a winning combination, fo sho. If you’ve been paying attention even a little bit, you know by now that FBD loves wool, so a wool buff? POW. Make it hap’n, capt’n Available at Smartwool.com.
“BK’s Favorites” (as in Gear West owner Brian “BK” Knutson’s) Kick Wax Pack, FBD pick for $30-$100
You know what else looks steazy? Kicking and gliding up a hill like a pro. That all starts with good technique, but is followed closely by good wax. If you haven’t already, go watch Zach Caldwell’s video beatdown of Tad Elliott for his waxing misdeeds, not only because both of those guys are hilarious, but also because you just may learn something. One you’ve got yourself all learned up, go put those newfound skills to use for realz. Consider this a ‘starter kit’ or even better, a ‘utility kit’ that will get you through most conditions: think of this as Batman’s utility belt inside of your drink belt. If you’re new to the Black Magic of kick waxing or a wise old dog that likes to keep it simple, this kit will have you covered (sorry). Check back for availability at Gear West.
Okay, there’s steazy and then there’s STEAZY (and then there’s also Capital Steez, but that’s another story all together). If you think you have the mettle to do some “FBD next level” stuff, ya gotta look the part and this kick-ass hoodie from our brothers up north is a good start. Watch any good ski race, from JNs up to the World Cup level, and you’ll notice that as soon as racers finish, they immediately change into dry clothes. You should do the same, yes, even on training days or Josh Smullin will come to your house in this outfit and yell at you. Nothing is better after a long, cold ski than slipping into this top. Available at arcteryx.com.
Alternatively, maybe nothing is better after a long, cold ski than slipping into this top. Just don’t be an animal (an animal that’s going to get sick and get us all sick) and ignore this good advice. Slip into something dry. Anything. If you garment of choice is still that hoody from junior high gym class, well, maybe that explains why you’re driving home alone or your kids don’t want to go into the store with you. Solve all of these problems in one fell swoop. Available at Patagonia.com.
Yeah, yeah, it’s winter and you should be skiing on snow, but if your travel schedule is anything like mine, you often find yourself in places where pow is only a pipe dream. Add this to the very depressing reality that climate change is having a major impact on snowpacks all over the planet and the even more depressing reality that our president-elect thinks this is all a part of an elaborate hoax being perpetrated by the Chinese. This means that you are likely going to be rolling on whap sticks more and more each year until we make some serious headway. The first step is to clearly acknowledge that there is problem, then figure out practical ways to save the planet (and our winters). All of this is going to take time though and you’re not really going to give up an interval sesh due to a lack of snow, are you? I didn’t think so. Buck up for the best summer boot out there and keep those tootsies cool and fresh. Search retailers via Alpinasportsus.com.
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If you’re wondering how the hell we got here, or you just love my beautifully crafted preamble so much that you revisit every day before heading off to face the challenges of the working world, the introduction and backstory can be found here. If unlike most of America, you actually spend you time at work, working, you may have missed some of the previous days and they can be found here: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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For Day 5, I have a topic near and dear to my cold (albeit giant) heart, electronics. This is an interesting one, too, as skiers seems to have a love/hate relationship with this category of products. There are a few camps out there, in particular when you’re talking about things like heart rate monitors and portable music players:
Camp 1: The “Dean and Kristor, I love my heart rate monitor, but I am a prisoner to it” school of thought (listen in at 28:00 minutes).
Camp 2: The “I hate heart rate monitors, iPods and all who use them; they’re not ‘organic,’ and they complete disrupt and distort the essence of skiing. I want to just go out there and ‘be the ball’ ” faction
Camp 3: The “I measure my HR during sleep, sex, easy skis, hard skis, races and dumps and have a spreadsheet correlating all of these activities on a white board in my office,” group of kooks. You can spot one of “these people” from a mile off, as their gear bag looks like the cockpit of a Concorde.
Concorde cockpit (Photo: Wikimedia Commons)
Camp 4: Us normal people who use these products for what they are, tools that provide interesting insight, entertainment and enlightment, but are not the be-all and end-all, rather simply another link in the chain.
Whew, with that out of the way, let’s talk about some cool gadgets, yes, yes, including heart rate monitors.
While this isn’t technically “electronics,” it is a product to keep your electronics clean and happy. The pitch given to me here (by the company) is that this product kills all of the germs on the screen of your phone and tablet — a great premise, if it works. Not to worry, I have an elaborate test of this claim scheduled, but the logistics are a bit involved, so it is still in the planning stages. Therefore, all I can say for right now is that this product does a great job cleaning your screen. Whether this will be the ticket to a lifetime free of cold and flu viruses remains to be seen, but for now I can promise you that it does get all of the nasty crap off of your screen. Available at Whoosh.com.
Having friends and teammates to train with is probably one of my favorite parts of skiing, whether it is a killer interval sesh or a long, easy cruiser, nothing makes the time fly by more than having people with whom to share it. But then there’s that one dude with you who won’t shut up, or the other who insists on making every workout a contest, even ones that are specifically designed to NOT be so. It’s on days like these that we all long for the peaceful solo ski. There are also plenty of occasions when the only time of day that I can get out has a start time plus/minus of about 30 seconds, so more often than not, these turn out to be solo missions. In cases like this, whether it’s easy distance or an interval smashfest, music is key. In fact, unless I’m out tearing it up with my Steamboat squad or Billy D and the USA NoCo crew, you’ll almost always find the FBD training with tunes. My delivery vehicle of choice for sound? Apple’s iPod Shuffle. Unlike the iPhone (which as noted here I hate bringing along on skis), the Shuffle holds a charge in the cold longer than 15 minutes, so you can blast your dope Abba/Gaga/Keesha mix for your entire OD roll. The Shuffle is also very small, light and since you are going to lose and/or ruin it sooner or later, at $49, it doesn’t exactly break the bank or your heart when it needs to be replaced. Available at Apple.com.
If you read this and thought, “FBD, dude, what’s up, I thought you were THE gear guy and you can’t even make it five days with a repeat suggestion?” Fair question, but let me assure you that I can make it 50 days without a repeat, but irons are so integral to what we all love to do that they merit offering a few options. Plus, I have a feeling that many of you considered putting out a hit on my life after reading my Day 4 suggestion for a $400 iron. Yes, that bad-boy is the Mac Daddy of irons, but it IS a bit spendy. It’s also a bit larger, so if you have arms or a budget like Josh Smullin, this baby is for you. Not as optimal as it’s big brother for burning fluros, but if that’s not your jam, this is your call. Available at Gear West.
Look on the wrist on many the World Cup skier and this is the watch that you’ll see. Why? It works well, has probably the best online interface and if you’re going “Full Nordic Nerd” here, it without a doubt integrates the best with FirstBeat. Buy one, watch what’s happening under the hood, but don’t let it rule your life. Available at Suunto.com.
Several high-level skiers show off their Suunto Ambit heart rate monitors, including U.S. Nordic Combined’s Adam Loomis (l); (clockwise, from upper left) Italian nordic combined skier Samuel Costa, Steamboat Springs Winter Sports club alumn and current CU skier Lucy Newman, Swiss nordic combined skier Tim Hug, and 2014 Olympic silver medalist Akito Watabe of Japan; U.S. Ski Team member Noah Hoffman (second from r); U.S. Nordic Combined’s Taylor Fletcher (his wrist, upper right); and U.S. Nordic Combined’s Ben Loomis and Jasper Good (bottom l). (All photos: FBD)
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If you’re wondering how the hell we got here, or you just love my beautifully crafted preamble so much that you revisit every day before heading off to face the challenges of the working world, the introduction and backstory can be found here. If unlike most of America, you actually spend you time at work, working, you may have missed some of the previous days and they can be found here: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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It’s only Day 4, but we’re getting picking up steam here, I can feel it. We’ve teed up a vast array of skiing-related products and gear, but no self-respective gear review is complete without diving headfirst, like Billy Demong into a shallow pool, into tech. And not just tech, TECH. Kinda like when Billy Ray Valentine fought off the police. “It wasn’t COP, it was COPS, with an ‘S’.” (Fast-forward to 7:30 in). This isn’t tech, it’s TECH (still not with a ‘s’, though)!
Like any good prima donna ski racer, I hate working on my skis. I just want them to be fast. Nathan Schultz and the gang at Boulder Nordic Sport have gotten me race-ready many-a-day. Usually if I ask them what they did, they tell me to STFU. This might seem a bit harsh, but it reality it works out well for everyone as I really don’t want to know, as this would perhaps lead me to think that next time I could do it myself, which we all know that I cannot. Thanks to some “tough love” from both Nathan and Zack Caldwell, I learned long ago that I’m actually better off NOT knowing what’s happening out there in those mysterious shipping containers, as I need to focus all of my energy into skiing fast. Since it’s the holiday season though, Nathan seems to have let his guard down a little, as he gave me one of his secrets, Holmenkol Natural Wax (comes in solid & fluid). I believe his exact quote was, “This stuff is amazing, not only it is fast, but even you can put it on, FBD.” No offense taken, as I’m still going to have him do it. I’m no dummy, this way I can blame him if the race doesn’t go well. #SoPro. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
On those warm, transformed days when any hard wax that grips wears too fast or ices, this binder lets you run a harder grip wax, solving both problems. A shoulder-season star. Available at CaldwellSport.com.
Speaking of Zach Caldwell and ski-tech curmudgeons, when Zach’s not busy shaming Tad Elliott and me into attempting to properly apply klister (in case you missed it yesterday, here’s the video again), Zach spends his free time putting together what is perhaps simultaneously both the most nerdy and the most awesome article on brushes ever written (be sure to watch the embedded video, too; it’s totally worth it). This of course begs the question: is this the only article on brushes ever written? I sure hope so, but regardless, it’s excellent. I’ll save you the humiliation of having a link to this video in your browser cache by cutting to the chase and telling you to simply get one of these: Red Creek Golden Magic Ultra Steel Brush. Available at Caldwell Sport.
Now we’re approaching super-nerd territory. Love it or hate it, fluoros are like pesticides and condoms — necessary evils. Again, I must have caught the head honcho on a good day, as Nathan was doling out all sorts of secrets. As noted earlier, I hate every part of this process (burning my skis, burning my beautiful, expansive eight-liter lungs, and burning a hole in the Ozone layer just so I can put Smullin in his place in races), so I made Nathan write the description on this one. I’ll see you in Hell, Schultz.
“These new fluorocarbon powders from Holmenkol are the result of 3 years of development and testing. The investment seems to have paid off – in testing over the winter of 2015-2016 we found this new line to be consistently at the top of our results, and many times far superior to everything else. As a bonus, the new raw materials in the Syntec line are not subject to the pending EU environmental fluorocarbon ban.” (After reading just this one paragraph, I bet you miss me already, right? Don’t lie.) Shop options (cold, mid & wet powder) at Boulder Nordic Sport.
Back to the ultimate ski curmudgeon, Caldwell (hell, his Twitter handle is @GrumpySkier, which pretty much says it all). I love talking to Zach as he’s perhaps the only person in the world more cantankerous than me, which is probably why we get along so well. You know how the saying goes though, “It pays to have friends in low places,” and trust me Zach excels here. He’s logged more time in World Cup wax cabins than almost anyone I know, so when I recommends an iron, you KNOW it’s legit. So legit, that I bought one. (Yes, yes, I know, you’re thinking, “I thought FBD never preps his skis…” HA, I got cha! I rarely race prep my skis. I prep my skis all of the time. So if I am going to be forced into this dreaded task, why not bring a gun to a knife fight and tackle the task with the best iron available to man. Thanks to my incredible foresight and vision, there is mind-blowing continuity in this recommendation as well, as this is the iron of choice when applying fluoros. #MindBlown. Available at Caldwell Sport.
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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By now you’re probably thinking, “What’s the deal with all of this clothing crap in this horribly played-out 12 Days of Christmas knockoff?” I’m a bad-ass skier who’s owned the same pair of Craft training pants since 2002. My money, ALL of my money, goes into gear that produces speed. You know, real gear. Fear not my agro friend with the nasty, clapped out pants covered in kick wax, we’ve got you covered with this latest installment.
deFUNKit Active Wash High Performance laundry detergent, FBD pick for under $30
The aforementioned dirt bag pants undoubtedly not only look played out, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and venture a guess that they also smell like ass. Fortunately, all is not lost here thanks to an amazing product called deFUNKit. My crackajack test team put this miracle solvent through its paces in more detail than you could even hope to imagine. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “You know what I’d like to read tonight, an eight-page review filled with several examples of essentially the same theme of some loser wearing dirty underwear for a week.” Well, that makes two of us. You’re welcome. Available at deFUNKit.com.
Ah, gloves. If I had to hanker a guess into what people hate the most about skiing (other than the misery, the money, the hassle, the haters, the writers — speaking of haters –, and its rapidly dwindling availability), I’d place my money on two things: cold hands and cold feet. One step at a time here people, so let’s tackle hands first. The fine folks at Toko made sure that on my trip to Eagle Glacier in Alaska last summer, that I left with the latest and greatest in-hand tuxedos, the Toko Profi (in bad-ass “Winter Warrior” color).
These babies stood up to almost 30 hours of skiing in the dreaded 0.1° C (32 Fahrenheit) rain that seems to always coincide with all of my trips to AK and kept me coming back for more, so I’m sure they’ll do you right in the 30 seconds it takes you to scrape your car windshield. Available at TokoUS.com.
Like any good corporate weasel, I know all of the tricks of the trade, so for those of you keeping score at home you know that we still have $55 left in our budget. Anyone who has suffered the indignity and insanity of the corporate world knows that if you don’t use all of your budget, you lose it, so let’s double-down on Toko here and also go for a pair of their awesome overmitts. What I really like about these is they keep you very warm, but you don’t look like you’re about to go 15 rounds with Tyson. Since they fit over your pole straps, the fit and feel of your gloves is normal (because you’re wearing your normal gloves), but they do an excellent job of keeping your hands comfortable while warming up for races in your thinner, racing gloves or even for long cruisers on particularly cold training days. Available at TokoUS.com.
Spend your remaining $15 on gum and expense it as “miscellaneous” or else that d-bag CFO will knock $15 off of your 2017 budget. Man, I hate that dude. And that stupid job.
FS Staff Pick* (*not necessarily FBD tested)
Pole tube ($45 at Boulder Nordic Sport): For piece of mind when flying, obviously, but also for when throwing expensive, laterally fragile pieces of carbon into a Subaru, Rocket Box, back of a van, anywhere near FBD’s dogs, etc. Fischer Pole Tube Economy sold at Boulder Nordic Sport.
Cocoons over-sunglasses ($55): Professional-grade sunglasses designed to be worn over prescription eyewear. Like an 85 year old’s driving glasses, but cooler. Shop options at CocoonsEyewear.com.
OK, now we’re rolling — if you’re anything like me, you’ve purchased a few (or all) of the past few days of suggestions as gifts, but you’ve also been following the ol’ “One for you, one for me rule,” so you’re driving home each night like a maniac, racing the wife to the front door so that you can intercept all of the gifts you’ve purchased for yourself before she’s on to you (not literally, as you’ve been married way too long for this to still be an issue). Thanks to your complete disregard for speed limits and your advanced tactical and navigational skills, you’re home first: Mission accomplished. Now what to do with the loot. Stashing your latest collection of swag behind the bird feeder in the garage feels a little too shifty even for you, so as always, your boy FBD has your back: ironically, the solution is to order more stuff, this time in the form of this killer Patagucchi bag. Available at Patagonia.com.
FBD pro tip, go for one of the more colorful color options, as everyone and their brother has black bags and your whole ruse unravels pretty quickly when you need to fess up to the wife that some jerk at baggage claim walked off with your bag because it looked like his and he naturally disregarded the instructions to check the name tag (any frequent traveler can tell you that NO ONE does this, so it’s every man for himself at baggage claim). Now some fat dude in Florida has all of your sweet, new baselayers, gloves, and Oakleys and since you have his bag, you’re now stuck with 4 sets of K-Mart cotton tube socks, stained BVDs with blown-out waist bands and a ripped, neon tank top emblazoned with the slogan, “Official Bikini Inspector” (This is standard issue gear to all Florida residents).
This is a good one, a REALLY good one. Why? First of all, because it’s a ski recommendation. And secondly because it starts with a story involving two of my favorite people in skiing, Tad Elliott and Zach Caldwell. Please, please, please watch this hilarious video as not only is it funny as hell, but it will also make this recommendation make a lot more sense (kinda). It’s also very informative.
For those paying particularly close attention at the start, you’ll recall that Zach was dressing-down Tad for using fish scale skis on a warm day, but did he say anything about skis with skins? HA, a loop hole! While I agree with Zach in principle (so much so in fact that I just bought a new pair of klister skis (before I saw this video too, btw), I also completely see Tad’s perspective. And Tad’s a pro skier for heaven’s sake: the only activity that he has to worry about each day is skiing. If Tad doesn’t want to deal with kick waxing, well, that’s good enough for me. Add to this the fact that as Zach dutifully points out, climate change is upon us, so sadly the days of simply slapping on Extra Blue and going for a rip may be fewer and fewer, so even if you have the time, energy and know-how to kick wax, there are days when nailing the wax is not easy.
In fact, just last week at the West Yellowstone Ski Festival, we had a few days early in the week in which very experienced coaches and athletes alike were tearing their hair out trying to pick the correct wax. How did I respond to this adversity? I’m no fool, so I gave up. Or did I? After watching many skiers struggle with their kick, I did an about-face and high tailed it to the demo tents, demanding, “The best pair of skin skis money can buy.” To get me out of their tent as quickly as possible before I had the chance to interact with regular people, the Rossi team teed me up with a pair of these bad boys. The verdict? While most everyone else out on classic was waving their arms around like they were being engulfed by a swarm of bees, I had kick like a mule (I own donkeys, so I know what I’m talking about here people).
This raises the question, did I quit or was I merely smart enough to pick the right tool for the job? I’d say it’s the latter. Yes, you do need to know how to apply kick wax, whether it be hard wax or klister, but for the busy (or lazy) working professional who wants to be as efficient as possible on the “lunch ski” or any day with “tweener conditions,” these babies are the way to go. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
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If you’re wondering how the hell we got here, or you just love my beautifully crafted preamble so much that you revisit every day before heading off to face the challenges of the working world, the introduction and backstory can be found here. If unlike most of America, you actually spend you time at work, working, you may have missed some of the previous days and they can be found here: Day 1 | Day 2
Editor’s note: This year, we opted for a spin on the holiday gift guide. Rest assured, we tasked the right guy — our gear-review guru — with the job of compiling a 12-day list of gift ideas (in various price ranges) for all the nordies in your life.
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I bet many of you have thought about, nay, fantasized about spending 12 consecutive days with FBD. For most, this would be a lifelong dream. For others, a nightmare, but I think we can all agree that those people are crazy. Yes, most of you would find this to be a life-changing experience: your skiing would ascend to the next level. Your style index would reach a point heretofore unseen. And your gear? Well, how big can you dream?
Since I am a very, very busy man and I now have literally hundreds of thousands of adoring fans, while I would love to come to each of your homes to help you re-supply your gear closet, something tells me that this is not very feasible. Apparently, even Santa struggles with logistics of this scale.
We’re going to do the next best thing though: the friendly folks here at FasterSkier have asked me to put together this year’s Holiday Gift Guide, but being the ever-vigilant, Type-A perfectionist that I am, I did them one better and expanded this feature to the “12 Days of FBD Christmas”. As the name implies, each day for 12 days, I will be offering up four different, awesome, holiday gift ideas. Unlike those other crappy gift guides out there however, not only is this one crafted (no pun intended) with love, but also integrity.
Every single one of these products has been tested by, worn by, and is most likely still in active rotation in the FBD gear arsenal (except for the additional staff recommendations, noted with an *). As has always been, and always will be the case, I did not accept any financial compensation from any of the companies featured. The selection criteria for this list are simply that the products must kick ass, be durable, provide value and naturally, look good. That’s just how I roll.
Finally, since this is a feature about gifts, let’s talk a bit about giving. You always hear that it is is better to give than to receive, which is true, but what if you’re smart to do both? Check and mate. I give to lots of different organizations, causes and individuals, but without a doubt, one of my favorite recipients is still me. After all, who deserves a sweet jacket more than me, right? But what about you? I bet almost every single one of you out there works their ass off in a difficult job, rushes around like mad to get in as much skiing as you can in the limited time that you have available, struggles to balance all sorts of obligations with work, family, friends, spouse, etc., and let’s be honest, it’s tough. There’s a reason why depression and social anxieties show a precipitous spike in the holiday season: holidays can be stressful. Skiing is hard enough without the added complexities of the holiday dynamic, so be sure to look after yourself as well as those around you, remember, this is supposed to be a joyous time, not a stress-filled, anxiety-ridden sh*t show.
As for the preferred survival strategy during this season, there are a few commonly employed methodologies. For some, it’s drinking themselves into oblivion at every chance they get. For others, it’s a trip to their house of worship. In some cases, it is all of the above. For this guy, I subscribe to a little of the former and a lot of the latter, though is it important to note that I worship at the House of Gear (not to be confused with this place):
The International House of Pancakes
I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but I am going to offer you some friendly advice from probably one of the world’s happiest and most well-adjusted heart throbs (I was the Teen Beat “Hunk of the Month” in 1997) take care of yourself, not just now, but year round. Eat right, sleep 8 – 10 hours per night, buy a dog (NOT a Great Dane), wash your hands before you eat and make DAMN sure your gear is on point.
So if your wiener kids deliver some crappy tie or a cookbook under the tree, Menorah or Festivus Pole, fear not, pretend you have diarrhea from that nasty fruitcake that your weird relative sent you, sneak into the bathroom with your smart phone and order up something you really want, no deserve. Better do it now, too, before those little monsters of yours squander all of your hard-earned savings on something silly, like college. Now, with all of this in mind, let’s dive right in.
Day 1: Clothing
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…..clothing? Well, not much of a rhyme, but one helluva good idea.
A real FBD favorite. Wool, so they are warm and highly odor-resistant, just the right thickness and this brand seems to last as long or longer than any we’ve tested thus far. At $20, you should ask Santa for a few pairs. Shop options at nordic retailers like Gear West.
If you haven’t already, you need to IMMEDIATELY go read my amazing review of a laundry detergent that allows you to wear undergarments several times between washings. In this review, you’ll notice that the preferred base layer of the entire test team was Smartwool. As noted above in the sock gift suggestion, wool is comfortable over a wide temperature range, even when wet. Furthermore, its ability to repel smell is the icing on the case, as noted in painstaking detail in this crazy, rambling review. Available at Gear West.
Ask anyone who been skiing for longer than a week and they have a horror story about venturing out on a cold day without a pair of these “down low” and their matching cousin “up top” — I don’t think we need to spell it out for you here — you might be able to fake it on the top, but don’t risk it down South, order a few pairs of the now. Right now. If you already have a pair, order more, as one simply can’t be too careful these days. Even you, lonely reader, might someday find someone willing to date your goofy nordic ass and you’re going to want all of the equipment “downstairs” working properly, or else you’ll never have a bunch of little ungrateful rug rats running around buying you ugly ties for Christmas instead of those cool new skate skis you’ve been drooling over for the last two years. Available at CraftSports.us and Boulder Nordic Sport.
For women and fashion-forward men alike. The full-length version is great for standing around before or after skiing, and/or for street style. And you can wear the mini-skirt version skiing when it’s really cold.
Perfect for cooldown, waxing skis in the parking lot, walking through blustery downtown Anchorage. Store locator
I was fortunate enough to be sent an advance release, test piece of this jacket this past summer and I immediately put it to good use on Eagle Glacier in Alaska in July. This garment takes one of our favorite jackets, the Nano Air, and transforms it into a more outerwear-specific coat, thanks to a superior wind and waterproof shell. As we prepared to leave Eagle Glacier, severe weather rolled in, so we had to shuttle down off the glacier behind snow machines in sleds normally used to haul supplies. This was as cold and sh*tty and it sounds and this coat was the only thing that kept me from freezing to death. Order one immediately.
***
All right, all right, all right, we are off and running! Check back each weekday (those pesky World Cup races hog all of the airtime on weekends) for the next 11 days for the latest and greatest advice on how to improve your life. Stick with me on this journey and this will be the best holiday ever for both you and all of your loved ones.
Putting deFUNKit, a high-performance laundry detergent, to the test.
Funkadelic
In my classic whap stick review, I chided readers for not knowing the “Keeping it 100” reference and noted that if you didn’t know it that you were officially out of touch because you were too old. Now I’m turning the tables on y’all with my latest wild assertion that if you don’t know the “We Want The Funk” reference, well, you’re out of touch because you are too young. George Clinton and Parliament are one of the most influential bands of all time, so if you aren’t already intimately familiar with this legendary group and song, well, you need to “get woke”. There, now that I have suitably confused everyone, let’s get rolling.
I often rotate in experts for certain reviews, as I believe it is particularly important to not only have diversity of voice, but also to use people with extensive experience and expertise in any given area. This means that test teams can vary in size from project to project, but there is almost always one constant — the core group of my trusty colleagues at the Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club (SSWSC). I am incredibly fortunate to be a part of this amazing organization for all sorts of reasons and we are a very close-knit group. It’s a good thing, too, as this latest undertaking took took our relationships to the next level. How? Well, we just spent a week smelling each other every night before dinner.
Long and Lonely Road
The trailhead at Rendezvous Ski Trails, as seen in late November of this year in West Yellowstone, Mont. (All photos: FBD)
Like many Nordic teams, SSWSCXC just returned from our annual early season training trip to the West Yellowstone Ski Festival.
At these training camps all of the coaches ski together (naturally) and dine together, but without a doubt this was the first time that we sat at meals and discussed not only how often we were all changing our socks and underwear, but also how these pieces smelled. I’ve heard that conduct of this nature is nothing new for Vail coaches Dan Weiland and Eric Pepper, but this is just one of many reasons why those two are usually found dining alone.
#TBT shot to a young Dan Weiland sitting alone at his junior high lunch table, completely devoid of friends, as fellow reclusive loner Eric Pepper looks on from a distance. It was here in these moments of desperate loneliness that the personality traits necessary to be a nordic coach were forged.
As you all know by now, the FBD has a reputation for looking real nice for the ladies. In our journey together to right the wrongs in the world of ski gear, we’ve tackled thick puffies, thin puffies, base layers, skate rollerskis and classic rollerskis, and we’re doing it people, we’re making a difference. It used to be that I’d see Josh Smullin in outfits like this every day, but now the frequency is down to every second or third day.
’90s neon, knee-high compression socks? Check. Matchy-matchy ’90s neon shirt, short, backpack combo? Check. ’90s neon man-purse fanny pack? Check. Prepare to deploy, Outfit Of The Day.
Baby steps. Baby steps.
So the fashion bar has been raised. Good. Very good. But looking good is only part of the picture. What if your outfit is “lit” but you smell like sh*t? I can tell you right now that this is a deal-breaker. I don’t care how fast you ski, how good you look and how savage your latest outfit is, if your base layers smell like Dave “Slow Ski” Cieslowski’s hockey equipment after spending a month in his trunk in July, you’re going to be relegated to the Weiland/Pepper lunch table in no time.
But fear not stinky nordie, all is not lost.
By now you’re probably thinking, “What the hell is this lunatic talking about? This is the craziest gear review I have ever read.”
I (along with my readers, editors, friends, neighbors, and local law enforcement) often find myself asking that very question, so let’s dive right in. Since thanks to all of you loyal readers, I have rapidly risen to the most influential and trusted gear reviewer in the galaxy, I am therefore frequently contacted by companies from all walks of life with every crazy product you can possible imagine. Some are cool, some are dumb, but occasionally something bubbles up that really catches my eye. This was one of them: a laundry detergent that supposedly allows you to wear base layers for multiple workouts without washing. Since no one is lazier than me, I was immediately intrigued.
The product in question is called, deFUNKit and here’s how it works. You simply do a normal load of laundry with their special detergent, then do repeat the same load with two different sets of their reagents (concurrently), and voila, your B.O. is now officially banished. Or so the story goes.
Test Protocol
To test this product, three brave men and one very brave woman descended on West Yellowstone, Mont., with only the shirts on their backs, almost literally. We brought a combination of wool and synthetic socks, undies and base layers to see if this mystery potion could stand up to real-life, real-world, real-stink testing. The plan was to ski in the same clothes for as long as possible and ride the party train until someone in the group “threw the flag.” Due to 1960s HVAC technology in our rooms, some of us wore one outfit for a.m. workouts and another in the p.m. to allow for drying, while others just went for it (more on that later).
Base layers: Swix synthetic top, Craft synthetic bottoms
Socks: SmartWool
Fundies: Victoria’s Secret (Yes, really. And no, people, this is not Josh Smullin, even though he is from Alaska)
Hours of usage
This is where it got real. There was a fair amount of variance in the final data mainly because one tester got super fired up and went “raw dog,” wearing the exact same outfit for the entire camp. This put their testing hours up to the extremely impressive level of 18 hours, split fairly evenly over 12 workouts. This is TRAINING HOURS, too, for much like my podcast colleagues Dean Nigglesson and Kristor Svonn, we only start our watches when we’re actually skiing (except for Smullin, who started his at breakfast — or “Bekfast, as he calls it — but that’s another story).
When you add up time at the wax table, the walk to and from the tracks and the occasional, “rushing to get lunch so I don’t have time to change clothes after my ski” hours, this brave soul logged over 35 hours in the same socks, undies and base layers, all without a single trip to the very nasty looking hotel washing machines.
The rest of us stuck to the protocol a bit more vigorously (or perhaps more cowardly) and racked up a range of 8-14 ski hours in each the a.m. outfit and the p.m. outfit, with another 60-75 percent of additional wear time, bringing total “on body” time for each outfit to 12-25 hours, again, split fairly evenly over seven sessions in the a.m. and another seven in the p.m.
The conditions skiing ranged from -10 to 7 degrees Celsius (14-45 Fahrenheit), with the majority of the workouts being Level 1 cruisers, but a few of us raced and had a couple of interval sessions thrown in for good measure, so there was ample opportunity to build up the funk. All in all, it was probably a very representative sample of typical skier usage and wear patterns.
Results
So does this stuff work? In a word, yes, amazingly well. One of the coaches’ wives is pregnant and with an already very acute sense of smell, the impending bambino has enhanced her olfactory system to the point of “super smeller” status, and bless her soul, she very bravely volunteered to sniff test us each night. Yup, I told you we are a very tightly-knit group.
Remarkably, even by the end of the camp, no one scored lower than a ‘7’ on the stink index (with 10 being ‘fresh as a daisy’ and 1 being ‘Weiland/Pepper lunch table’). This is pretty incredible given the high number of training hours. Even the “one outfit cowboy” came through with flying colors, which is nothing short of remarkable.
To be clear, we all came into this with a very health dose of skepticism. Mr. Reliable noted in his log, “I was very unsure about this whole plan at the start of this test, so much so that I brought several sets of back-up clothes in case this failed spectacularly.”
The AK Brawler agreed, “I really didn’t think this product was going to work, so I brought lots of spare clothes. Amazingly, I did not need any of them. I couldn’t believe it.”
Captain Deodorant Conspiracy noted, “I am very surprised. This product works way better than expected.” And then the kicker, “I went the whole week doing every workout in the same outfit and I think I can keep going. In fact, I think I AM going to keep this rolling, just to see how far I can take it.” Wow.
My beloved Salomon summer training “Please don’t hit me” rollerski top and trusty Swix socks/shorts.
Since no one is a bigger numbers nerd than yours truly, I couldn’t help but attempt to make the data set as statistically significant as possible, so prior to the camp in West, I logged 31 hours of rollerskiing, running and strength (divided over 12 workouts) in one outfit. The temperature in this workouts ranged from 11 to 26° C (52-79 Fahrenheit) and was often quite sunny. I managed to talk a few reluctant coaches into giving me the sniff test (though not the cowardly Captain Deodorant Conspiracy, whose fear of germs eclipses that of even my own) and they were also amazed to discover that the outfit (at right) was still quite pleasant.
So with multiple fabrics, multiple testers, multiple brands, multiple sexes, widely divergent approaches to personal grooming and government conspiracies, not to mention highly variant body chemistries, in every piece of clothing on every single reviewer, we found a significant decrease in smell. Every single investigator felt as though they could ski in socks and “unmentionables” for a minimum of four workouts and base layers for a minimum of eight. That’s a lot. And that was the low end. On the upper end, estimates vary here as well, but “intimates” made it upwards of 10 days and base layers maxed out the test. I think that pretty much says it all.
The After-Life
But what about life after skiing? Is there life after skiing? I realize I am getting a little philosophical here, but not to worry, I’m not speaking in terms of the after-life, I’m speaking in terms of the after-workout. In other words, do you need to wash your everyday fundies, well, every day?
“Back in the day,” I would prepare myself for a night on the town with a shower, shave and a nice, new, crisp pair of “knickers”, knowing very well that the chances of a member of the opposite sex actually seeing them were quite small. We were a good team though, as my BVDs had my back and dutifully played along with this ruse every Friday and Saturday night. I also did my part and got the troops ready for battle through proper and efficient rotation in the meticulous FBD laundry regimen. I figured it was the least I could do. Business is all about mitigating risk and optimizing your chances for success…
However, those days are now long gone, as every game is now a home game, but my focus on proper hygiene persists nonetheless. So the question at hand is can this miracle solvent work its wonder on not just athletic garments, but also daily wear?
To execute this phase of testing, I must confess that there’s a certain psychological barrier that must first be crossed, for, to put it bluntly, getting up every day and putting on 10-day-old drawers just feels weird. Or at least it did in the beginning. But being the good scientist that I am, I decided to break it down methodically.
Having a clean undercarriage goes a long way, regardless of your underwear status.
Firstly, is there anything magical about wearing your man-panties for 24 hours? Why not 26 hours? Or 17.2? The answer here is fairly obvious in that it is logical and convenient to synchronize a “wear cycle” with your daily cycle. Certainly there are many options and variations here, but a common regimen for many working professions is to wake up, shower, put on clean underwear, then go to work. So would you change your tighty whities halfway through the day or just before dinner (you aren’t really still wearing these guys, are you? If so, you need to seek professional help immediately)? You could, but it really doesn’t make any sense, baring any “accidents” or unforeseen circumstances.
The point here is that under normal operations, underwear rotation schedules are not analogous to tire or oil changes in that there is not a mechanical or chemical breakdown taking place that requires attention after a set period of time. If it took the Earth 18 or 28 hours for one revolution, you’d probably wear your skivvies for 18 or 28 hours, respectively, and think nothing of it.
Having said this, clearly there is some type of ceiling (“The Cotton Ceiling?”). Remember, the core of my hypothesis is that users install new undergarments after a shower, when presumably the whole undercarriage is all cleaned up, so there are in fact some chemical reactions that need to be taken into consideration. Leave cheese in your car on a hot day and you’ll be treated to an olfactory assault when you return to your vehicle, so by not coordinating and synchronizing the daily shower/undy swap, are we just begging for some crotch-pot cooking?
The answer to this seems to be no. Without getting too graphic here, objects begin to smell when bacteria collects, colonizes and grows. Showers help prevent this on you and DeFUNKit helps prevent this in your clothing. So yes, there is a Santa Claus, and yes, all of your lazy, single dudes out there, you can in fact “safely” extend the wear cycle of your Jockeys. During a research project at the University of Michigan’s Biological Field Station, one of my colleagues was completely bought in to his “Four Wears Per Pair™” (FWPP) theory (forward, backward, inside out forward, inside out backward). While somewhat ingenious, I can tell you for a fact that all of our female colleagues found both this theory and process to be repulsive and let’s just say he had lots of quality time alone in his cabin. The point here being that this new laundry formulation will allow for extended wear cycles without suffering the shame, stigmas and practical difficulties associated with the FWPP lifestyle choice.
Test fleet ready for action.
How do I know this? Because I tested it. I had a “control” pair of Underoos that were in the rotation that were not treated with deFunkit, and an identical pair (SmartWool boxer briefs) that was treated. To ease the psychological torment of coming out of the shower clean and putting on the same pair of underwear that I had been wearing for 10 days, I alternated between the two configurations until someone said “Uncle.”
(If you’re thinking, did this nut really wear the same pair of underwear for 10 days? Yup, I did. Ten fricking days.) The non-treated pair made it four days before they were pulled from the rotation, but the treated pair was still going strong on Day 10. The only reason this test ended was I was leaving for West and I made the executive decision to start that trip w/ “a clean slate,” so everything went into the washer.
Now might be a good time to note that while I was the only person twisted (and thorough) enough to specifically “A:B” my test fleet (think of the most awful ski testing scenario that you could possibly imagine), our entire test team had a decent baseline on smell accumulation on all of their garments. Everyone in this group has literally dozens of years of skiing experience and overall a very good sense of how many days of use each given piece can withstand before things get ugly. So while my test was the only direct comparison between treated and non-treated, everyone on the team had a very good idea of the non-wash lifespan of their non-treated garments and all found significant deltas between treated and non-treated articles.
Applications
Some of the applications of this product are quite obvious: training camps, hut trips, camping/backpacking and the like, immediately spring to mind. In the past, essentially your only options on these adventures were to grin and bear it, or if you were lucky enough to be someplace with running water, you could annoy your roommates with “sock soup.”
Sock soup.
Not having to subject oneself to the indignity and inconvenience of sink laundry makes this product basically a no brainer for all of these scenarios, as this stuff will absolutely help you come out the other side smell much, much more pleasant.
Now, having said this, the elephant in the room is you. Both of our test environments (West and Steamboat) had showers. Some of the test team showered after every workout, some only once per day. Some of us wore deodorant, some did not, but regardless, we were all starting every workout fairly to completely clean. If you’re someplace where regular showers aren’t an option or you’re one of those repulsive, stinky hippies that refuses to shower, you’ve got bigger problems than can be solved with DeFunkIt — you are a disgusting, filthy, despicable human who needs to learn basic grooming and self-respect. Yes, DeFunk will most certainly help if you can’t/won’t shower, but if you’ve got a really bad case of stank, well, there’s only so much we can do here people. This is NOT a deodorant, cologne (God help us) or anything weird like that, it’s a treating process that helps to repel odor. If you absolutely reek though, well, guess what, you’re on a one-way trip to the aforementioned lunch table w/ Dan and Pep. I just wanted to get that out there.
Disclaimer: If you’re someplace where regular showers aren’t an option or you’re one of those repulsive, stinky hippies that refuses to shower, you’ve got bigger problems than can be solved with deFunkit.
Going Green
This is the deodorant you use when you think we didn’t land a man on the moon.
Another important dimension that came up in our summary and review meeting is the potential ecological impact of this product. The manufacturer reports that the preparation will last for up to 20 washes. This means that once you have treated your clothing, you can not only wear everything many more times between washes, but you can “refresh” this effect by simply doing a load of laundry with regular detergent. Undoubtedly there will be some type of degradation curve in effectiveness, but even so, if articles are only making it five or so wears near the end of the treatment cycle before requiring washing, you are still way ahead in the game.
One more interesting angle here is the stress that laundry machines places on clothes and how significantly trips through these machines reduces the lifespan of clothing — a very interesting observation that should be factored in this equation — if one treatment of DeFunkIt results in a four- to 10-fold decrease in wash frequency, not only are you saving water and electricity (dryers, in particular, are noted energy hogs), but you will also be greatly extending the life of your garments.
Conclusions
You know those car commercials which offer ridiculous, seemingly unobtainable mileage estimates for their vehicle? They often conclude with their get-out-of-jail-free statement of, “Your actual mileage may vary.” Well, same deal here. We did our best to expose a wide variety of different brands, different fabrics and different people to a fairly grueling week of testing. Overall, everyone was incredibly impressed with the findings and in some cases, people were ready to keep the test going. Will you have the same results? Probably, but who knows. I’d be amazed if it didn’t work at all for you and it could actually work better. Or perhaps worse. But I’d be shocked if it didn’t work at all.
We have not yet had the opportunity to test how this treatment process will hold up after regular washings. Does this treatment really last 20 “normal” washes? Who knows. We simply cannot answer that question at this time. We have no reason to believe that it won’t, but at the same time we always approach claims from ANY company with a fair amount of caution. The fact that everything that they’ve told us thus far has proven to be true certainly makes us optimistic, but again, our mileage may vary. As may yours.
In conclusion, is this product worthwhile? Absolutely. For $20 and one extra trip through the washer, you can wear all of your ski crap for several additional workouts without grossing out all of the dudes/babes at the coffee shop. If you’re lazy (like me), you can throw a few pairs of “civilian clothes” into the machine at the same time and not only free up more of your valuable time for important things like playing Noah Hoffman’s Fantasy XC league, but hell, who knows, you could perhaps even ski more. And you’re saving water, saving energy and extending the life of your clothes. To me, that’s well worth 20 bucks.
Tim Burke’s garage and “whap-stick” fleet. (All photos: FBD)
Instant Classic
While I have no actual data on this issue, there seems to be a sentiment in our world that classic rollerskis are the red-headed step child of summer training. Most skiers ride bikes, run and even check their dignity and safety at the door for a skate roll, but classic? In summer? On rollerskis? NFW.
Let’s be real clear here — classic skiing is awesome. It is the root of our sport. When everything is right, it’s a beautiful thing, but the numbers don’t lie — look no further than your local tracks this winter and you’ll see a lot more people out on skate gear than classic. Then there’s the fact that many purists don’t like classic rollerskis due to their “unlimited kick,” with the theory here being that the ratcheting wheel reinforces bad habits and just by looking at them, you’ll forget how to properly set the wax “for reals” (as we say in Philly) when you’re back on the real McCoy. Add to this that it’s also hard to classic ski well. In fact, probably my favorite quote on this topic is “skate is harder to do, but classic is harder to do well.” Church.
Therefore, given all of this, it’s no surprise that you’re more likely to find a nordic skier excelling in a stick-and-ball sport than you are to see them out tearing it up on the elusive classic whap sticks. Sure, my good buddy Noah Hoffman does five-hour laps around Park City two to three times a day, but Noah is crazy, we all know that. He’s also on the national team and you’re not.
Let’s “keep it 100” here though (the kids at the bus stop where I had to refill my drink belt taught me this, if you don’t know it, you’re old. Go look it up in your Encyclopedia Britannica, grandpa). We all know that deep, deep down the reason you don’t classic ski as much as you should is because you aren’t as good at it as you’d like to be. Trust me, *I* know what I’m talking about here. Classic skiing is awesome and here’s an idea, maybe you’d be better at it if you did it more. Plus, you’re smart — you religiously read my column (whenever the hell it seems to randomly appear) and you somehow knew this lecture was coming. You’ve already decided that this is the year that you would finally get your shit together classic skiing. Or, you’re nursing an over-use injury after reading Jacked Up Old Man’s blog and thinking, “I can train like that,” but now you realize that you can’t, you’re overtrained and/or injured and your Achilles feels like a piece of hot barbed wire that’s been set ablaze by your crushed dreams. Or maybe you’re a competitive high school/collegiate/pre-elite skier who races classic with equal regularity to that of skate. Or maybe you really are like Noah, just plain nuts, and classic is your jam.
Well, my friend, you are in luck, as we rounded up 10 pairs of the best classic whap sticks that money can buy and put them to the test.
The big winner: the IDT Classic Elite. Time to book that trip to Norway.
While this phrase is purported to have its origins in Vegas and you’re a nordic skier, so you hate gambling, drinking, staying up late, standing on your feet, people, and anything else related to having fun and/or not skiing, hang in there with me on this, for in exchange for stomaching the colorful Vegas expression, I will reveal what our entire team found to be the best classic whap sticks available to man: the IDT.
Yes, yes, the astute reader will undoubtedly recall that I chided IDT a little bit in the skate review for their product not being readily available in the U.S. and lack of availability is a HUGE pet peeve of the FBD, as I find it infuriating to read a product review only to discover that said product isn’t available for six months or some other such nonsense. Here’s a suggestion for all of my reviewer colleagues out there (even though we all know that FBD has no equal) — how about doing a review when we, the eager consumer, can actually BUY your over-hyped, unnecessary piece of crap that we most likely don’t need and won’t use? That’s why we at FasterSkier are the voice of truth and light and only review crap that is A) available and B) you actually WILL use. So tell your accountant, significant other and conscience to relax, continue to promise yourself that you’ll save for that bathroom remodel next year, and obsess on the thought of new classic rollerskis until you work yourself into such a frenzy that you somehow manage to justify yet another ridiculous purchase. Remember, you really DO need these and no one deserves this more than you. Remind yourself of that time when you cleaned the garage two years ago or emptied the dishwasher all by yourself — selfless acts like that deserve some positive reinforcement. Push on in this psychological tug-o-war by promising yourself that you’ll feed them and walk them every day and that you’ll take REALLY good care of them. Plus, this is the year you swore you’d get good at classic — I’m pretty sure you wrote that down somewhere a few months ago.
Thanks to all of you loyal readers, this column has become a smashing success, therefore companies are now forced to actually take me (a bit) seriously. So when I told IDT that I wouldn’t review them until they created a viable distribution network in the U.S., they agreed. What this all means is that not only are these the best classic rollerskis, but you can actually get them. Currently, the best method is to order via their website, but IDT has also assured me that they are setting up U.S. distribution and the skis will be available in stores. Being the ever-vigilant, always skeptical, crackerjack investigative reporter than I am though, I could not in good conscious recommend that you order something online without first checking this out and everyone will be happy to hear that they do indeed arrive in a reasonable amount of time. Amazon Prime it is not, but I got a pair in about two weeks. Perfect? No. But reasonable enough for now.
Now on to the review. What did we like about the IDTs? In short, everything. We approached this test with much of the same methodology as the skate test, with a few notable additions. As shown in the matrix below (Table 1), we added categories for striding and double pole (DP). Yes, yes, I know, you can (and should) DP in skate technique, but it was the opinion of our esteemed panel that DP plays a greater overall role in classic technique to merit its own category. Same deal with striding, which is, after all, the essence of classic skiing, so this new column should be quite self-explanatory. And the IDTs killed it in every one of these areas. Everyone loved the overall feel of the ski and while it was not light years in front of everything else, it was everyone’s favorite ski, bar none. Try to get seven people to agree on where to go for dinner or what movie to see and I think you’ll quickly see the point I’m making.
A close second, however, was the Marwe 700. Again, everyone loved these skis. In addition, they are cheaper and readily accessible, which is a plus for all of the impatient members of the studio audience. It should also be noted that Marwe has stood the test of time. We’ve been on the IDTs for the past few months and really like them, but we have literally years of experience and lots of usage data on the Marwe. We have no reason to believe that the IDTs won’t wear well, but we know the Marwes do. Look no farther than the garage of 12-year veteran of US Biathlon Tim Burke (photo at top of story) and you’ll see that they are the choice of many professional skiers. I went for a rip with Timmy in Lake Placid on a pair of his Marwes that were a few years old and they still skied great (yes, biathletes do classic ski and quite well, may I add).
Also testing well was the Swix ski. The scores weren’t quite as unanimous as the IDT and Marwes, but every reviewer but two had them in their top three, so sticking with my dinner/movie analogy, this speaks volumes. Like the Marwe, they are also cheaper than the IDT and readily available (well, as readily available as any rollerski is, and let’s be honest, it’s not like these skin removers are falling off the shelves at your local Walmart. But you can find both Marwe and Swix without calling Europe).
Just as we did in the skate rollerski review, we ranked the skis into three categories and the IDT, Marwe and Swix were at the top in a class by themselves. In all fairness, the gap down to the next group wasn’t as big in classic as it was in skate, so hold all of those angry letters, as this second group is also populated with good skis. And just like skate, depending on your weight, age, skiing style, goals and budget, some of the skis in this second group may work for you, as don’t forget, our goal here is twofold: 1) rank the overall best skis and 2) help describe which skis are best suited for more specific individual needs. So again, hold those letters. At least for a few more paragraphs.
Stacking the deck
I’ve mentioned this in past columns, but it bears repeating that it always makes me smile how different companies interpret our requests for gear reviews. All companies receive identical instructions and yet the interpretations of these instructions seem to vary wildly. Case in point, essentially every puffy coat manufacturer sent us a different combination of men’s and women’s jackets for last year’s puffy coat review. Rollerskis proved to be no different, as some companies provided skate only. Others only sent classic. Some missed the deadline by a few days, others by weeks, some by months and some wrote to inquire AFTER the review was published if they could still participate. Yes, really.
I bring this up because while many companies sell multiple models of skis, some picked one model and just sent that, while others decided to send us everything they could find. While this is obviously more work for us, that’s why we’re here and any good racer is an opportunist, so I actually kinda respect this approach. Swenor led the charge here by sending everything but the kitchen sink.
Swenor x 3
What was particularly interesting about Swenor is their product line probably offers the most diversity of any manufacturer. Most of the differences between BRANDS of rollerskis are often subtle and once you get within brands, the separations can be even smaller. This is not the case with Swenor — you know immediately which of their models you have on your foot.
Everyone’s favorite Swenor, the Fibreglass, a good all-around ski
The ski that scored the highest for all-around versatility was the Swenor Fibreglass, which, as Table 1 shows, scored reasonably well in most categories. One thing that everyone loved about this (and all of the Swenors, with a few caveats that we’ll get into in a second) was the smoothness. The Fibreglass model without a doubt had the best balance of smoothness, flex and stability, making it overall a very solid pick. Where things got interesting with Swenor was with the Carbonfibre and the Finstep models.
The Swenor Carbonfibres in their safest configuration: pointed straight with minimal load
The Swenor Carbonfibre faired reasonably well for VERY light skiers (50-55 kg), but the scores showed a strong, inverse relationship to tester body weight. As even the casual reader knows, the FBD is a big, powerful man. Since my weight is a frequent and highly animated topic of conversation for both the men’s USA Nordic Combined and biathlon teams, I thought it was only appropriate that my current mass be verified by none other than Tim Burke. Mr. Burke was kind enough to witness, verify and notarize that at the time of the testing I tipped the scales at a svelte and swole 84.187 kg. This meant that me taking tight, fast corners on the Swenor Carbons was akin to driving a car with bald tires over ball bearings on ice. It felt as though a crash was imminent on every high-speed turn and if I looked carefully over my outside shoulder at the apex of any given corner, I could see my rear wheels sliding by me with reckless abandon, almost begging to send me into oncoming traffic or a handy drainage ditch. How, when and where we would end up was really anyone’s guess. I found that, um, unsettling.
In our endless pursuit of perfection and total objectivity, prior to publication, I sent the final draft of this story to all of the testers for their review and feedback. It can be tricky capturing the sentiments of a sizable group of people, so I was very careful to double check that I was providing an accurate representation of everyone’s viewpoints. When the comments came back from one of the testers who has probably some of the best feel for skis that I’ve ever seen, I thought his reaction to this part of the story was essentially perfect, “I took them (the Swenors) out for some more rips after we finished (the testing): they are good skis just as long as you don’t try to accelerate or push around a corner hard. If you are skiing mostly straightaways, there shouldn’t be a problem.” For the record, this reviewer is about 5 kgs lighter than me, so while he’s not quite FBD size, he’s in the ballpark. I’ll let all of you at home extrapolate the handling characteristics you will therefore likely encounter based on your specific body weight. Or you could just buy a pair of Marwes.
Swenor Finstep
The one ski that didn’t display the same velvety smoothness as the other Swenors was the Finstep. The light skiers didn’t like it as much as the Carbons and heavier skiers only liked it a little more than the Carbons, so when all of the scores were averaged out, the Carbons came out on top. I’m giving everyone “a peak behind the curtain” in this process, as this is one instance in which having a bunch of testers can be a bit misleading when averaging scores — pretty much the whole group agreed that if forced to choose between the Carbon and the Finstep, the Carbons are better for lighter skiers or those who train exclusively on abandon airport runways, and the Finstep are better suited for those with increased gravitational pull.
Sandwiched between the Swenor horde was the Elpex Evolution. Please note that this ski made the cut to the second group (as noted in Table 1) and was generally found to be a good ski. The only thing that really hurt this guy was stability — she’s tippy. As in six-margarita tippy. And while I love me a good margarita, I like them in the bar with a giant plate of nachos (84.187 kg, remember?), not on my feet. But if for some weird reason you’re not a heavy drinker or you’ve been blessed with balance like this, knock yourself out. Now the caveat here is that you can literally knock yourself out, but hey, you’ve been warned. Plus, we’ve already established that you’re not a drinker, so you need to do something for fun, so why not spend a few hours a day wrestling a pair of uncooperative skis. Consider it a lamer version of gator wrestling, but without the weird smells, dirty pond water and animal rights implications.
Good, solid citizens
A five-way tie for the third-ranked group in the 2016 classic rollerski review: (from left to right): Fischer Carbonlite, OneWay Classic 5, OneWay Classic 13, Swenor Finstep, and Swenor Carbonfibre
Also milling around in the neighborhood of the bottom two Swenors were the Fischer and both OneWays (OW 5 and OW 13). Every reviewer had these five skis in the third group, but the order was slightly different on each score sheet. In essence, the marks were so similar that this was basically a five-way tie for third. It is important to note that while none of the scores in this group exactly set the world on fire, these are all still perfectly fine skis — in all likelihood you can get on them, do a workout and return home without any major drama (that is provided you are not skiing in Philadelphia, where drama is essentially guaranteed regardless of which skis you’re rocking). So again, please no angry letters that Swenor skis saved your grandfather’s life in the war or OneWays pulled your puppy from a burning building. As noted earlier, the deltas between all of the classic skis were smaller than those in the skate whap-stick review, even though this may not necessarily be reflected in the scores. Two different reviewers were used for this test (persons with more experience on classic skis), therefore resulting in a different frame of reference, making comparisons on scores between the classic and skate tests impossible, so don’t even try. It is also very important to point out that we were looking to find differences and in some cases had to get fairly nit-picky. Every ski in this group is still very solid.
It’s a wrap (not a whap)
In summary, all of us really liked the IDT, Marwe and Swix. All three of these are fantastic classic rollerskis and each of them truly deserves their spot in the top group. Just as with “real” skis, though, rollerskis can be a very personal thing. Our hope is that by testing all of these skis extensively in different conditions and with several different size and sex reviewers, we’ve been able to compile both qualitative and quantitive recommendations that will assist most, if not all, skiers in future purchasing and training decisions.
If you’re still pissed off after all of these qualifiers, please feel free to contact Zach Caldwell, as he loves to talk about stuff like this. I happen to know for a fact that he loves calls of this nature, anytime, day or night.
Up Next (ish)
One of the many things that warmed my cold heart after the skate review was all of the excellent comments and suggestions that we received. One recurrent theme was long-term wear, so I am very pleased to announce that we will be doing long-term wear tests on skate and possibly even classic, depending on interest. On this topic, you can feel free to submit comments. Everything else you should send to Zach though.
Since durability is understandably on many readers’ minds and I could be dead and/or fired by next year at this time, we decided it made sense to provide very preliminary results right now as well:
Swenor: The wheels on the Carbon model may offer a smooth ride, but they showed signs of wear after only a very few kms. This is troubling for as noted above, some of the testers were quite light, so this does not bode well for long-term wear for even a skier of 150 lbs or so, not to mention us big thumpers. Also, why no fenders? This annoyed everyone.
The Elpex Evolution rollerski delaminating after just a few months of use.
Elpex: One ski delaminated on the bottom. Again, not a very good sign if this is happening after just a few months of use, some of which from very light athletes.
Swix: One fender fell off and it was not at all easy to reattach.
Marwe: One of these fenders came off, but unlike Swix, this one was easily repaired. Despite losing the Allen bolt, a replacement of similar length, diameter and pitch was procured with no difficulty at the local hardware store. The only slight issue was that an Allen bolt wasn’t available, only a screw with a Phillips head. And yes, we’re now trying to do a better job checking the fenders. Damn, you people are needy.
See you out there.
FBD
Former APU rockstar, current Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club coach and ski-tester supreme Greta Anderson showing how we run our complaint department.
I think most nordic skiers have a love/hate relationship with rollerskis (or whap sticks, as my good buddy Zach Caldwell likes to call them). Firstly, we’re skiers and the last time I checked, skiing happens on snow, not asphalt. So there’s that. And then there’s the whole idea of taking these infernal contraptions out on the open road without any viable method of stopping. For anyone with even the slightest understanding of physics, traffic laws and the highly unpredictable nature of modern drivers, this is obviously a bad idea. Hold that thought.
The test array (All photos: FBD)However, as the old adage goes, “Skiers are made in summer,” and you hate the idea of losing to, well, anyone, so you check your dignity at the door, find a pair of skiing boots and poles that you’re mad at and drag yourself out the door for another battle with gravity, nearly invisible wheel-jamming rocks and the unwashed masses. If you’re in any sort of major metropolitan area in the U.S., you also need to fully activate your “abuse shields” as it is almost inevitable that you’ll be tormented, taunted and just generally verbally abused for having the nerve to go out on public roads for a little exercise. What the hell is wrong with you anyway? We all know that roads are for cars and nothing else — no bikes, no runners, no dog walkers and for heaven’s sake, certainly not for rollerskiers.
Ah, but your high-and-mighty ass has races to win. You’re a (wo)man of principle, you remember your eighth-grade civics class about taxes and their role in funding public roads and you believe stopping is highly overrated. Besides, you know these roads like, “the back of your hand,” and somehow implicit in this ridiculous statement is the assertion that you therefore also know the exact location of all possible hazards and obstacles.
Photos of Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club Josh Smullin (l) and a tennis player dressed identically.In addition to your lovable, reasonable and logical, “I know my rights” side, you’re also a nordic skier, so you’re also cursed/blessed with a streak of non-conformity. Yes, you. You’re a rebel. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but a rebel nonetheless. You don’t drink alcohol (empty calories), smoke (uh, hellooooo, can you say VO2 impairment?), or stay up past 9 p.m. (dismal Firstbeat recovery score anyone?), but just last month you deviated slightly from your tried-and-true ration of protein to complex carbohydrates in your recovery smoothie. So take that, James Dean, there’s a new sheriff in town: he’s a footloose and fancy-free bad-boy rebel and he’s going to throw caution into the wind and go rollerskiing.
Okay, now that this is settled, the question then becomes, “Which whap sticks are right for me, FBD?” And this is where the story gets good, too, for as much information as there is on snow skis, there’s a dearth of information on the dreaded rollerski. Hell, it’s kinda hard to even find places that sell these bizarre instruments of death, nonetheless provide a detailed comparison on which model to best injure yourself, so pow, that’s where we come in.
Diving right in
First of all, with a few notable exceptions, almost all of the skis that we tested were good; three were very good. There were definitely differences between the skis though, so depending on the road surface where you train, the type of training you are doing and your goals, the best ski for one skier may not be the best for another. Given this, we have put together both a quantitative chart so you can see the empirical test scores, as well as a qualitative section in which we’ve described the best fit for each individual ski. We believe that with a careful period of introspection, goal setting and road-frictional coefficient calculations, combined with a thorough perusal of both the qualitative and quantitive sections, you’ll find yourself the happiest you’ve even been in your life.
Testing HQ in Steamboat Springs, Colo. Rollerskis for this review were also tested in Park City, Utah, and Philadelphia.Next is the issue of speed — this is huge in snow-ski testing (basically the entire point of testing is to find the ski/grind/wax combo that is the fastest), but this is generally not the case for rollerskis. Racing aside (and who is crazy enough to race these barbaric skin-removal torture devices?), the overwhelming percentage of athletes are looking for the rollerskis that best simulate being on snow and meets as many of personal the training parameters outlined above. In addition, almost every rollerski wheel can be swapped out for faster wheels, so it is generally quite easy for an athlete to “tune” their whap sticks to whatever speed you are the most comfortable screaming down hills on something with no brakes, into traffic. As a result, you will see essentially no references to “ski speed” in the rest of this review, as any ski can be made fast. Chapters could be written on the many schools of thought on “best” rollerski speed, but that’s not the purpose of this review — we did our best to provide an objective, comprehensive and unbiased look at as many brands as possible and make recommendations to everyone in the ski that is best for them.
Best Overall
Just as with snow skis, there is an element of personal preference in rollerski selection, so to help address and negate this, we had a test team of seven people. In total, we had over 150 years of ski experience, an Olympic gold medalist, a world champion, and three veterans of World Cup ski-testing protocols. This was an extremely well-qualified group, so we believe this analysis to be very fair and balanced. We love skiing and we love gear, so we took this very seriously and put a ton of time into it, because that’s what we do. And we even managed to have a little fun along the way, which is good, as I’m pretty sure that I read somewhere that this is supposed to be fun.
While most of the skis in this test will work fairly well for a wide range of athletes for most conditions, three pairs scored consistently the highest among all of the testers: Marwe, IDT and Pursuit. The former was not much of a surprise, as Marwe is a well-respected and established brand.
Look no further than U.S. biathlete Tim Burke’s garage and you’ll see why Marwes are the choice of many top skiers worldwide. They have a nice feel, are very stable, hold up well and offer a wide variety of wheels speeds, so you can’t go wrong with these skis.
Weighing in at 0.91 kg, they are the lightest of the three top skis and their individual performance ratings was at or near the top in every category (see review matrix below*).
*Note: Every tester had a private scoring matrix that no other reviewer saw until the testing was complete. All of those scores were averaged to create the matrix shown above.
Also, this matrix has been updated to include model names.
The second top performer was the IDT (0.99 kg) — another great all-around ski. We all loved everything about this ski and it also scored high marks across the board in every category. They were the longest ski tested and many of us felt this contributed to this ski being the one that many believed felt the most like skiing on snow.
One tester was concerned that the added length would be cumbersome in corners, but most felt that this was not a problem and overall this ski scored well in all areas. The biggest drawback is that they’re made in Norway and they’re just getting their U.S. distribution rolling (get it, ROLLING, see what I did there?), so purchasing a pair in the U.S. right now may not be all that easy. IDT specifically stated that this product will be readily available in the U.S. “very soon” though, whatever that means. This is a great ski for long, cruiser workouts.
By far the biggest surprise of the testing was the Pursuit Fork Flex (1.03 kg). First of all, far be it for me to speak “out of school,” but the Pursuits aren’t exactly the sexiest skis out there: the best way to describe their appearance is that they are the result of the ultimate-nerd collabro of an erector set…
Metal-toy Erector Set
meets science fair…
Science fair
meets nordic skier.
Josh Smullin (l) in a pumpkin suit.
Yes, scary, I know. But, but, BUT, this just goes to show you how good these skis really are, as every one of us picked them up and thought, “Yeah, these things are going to suck,” but then we skied them and were quickly singing another tune: great feel, stability and flex.
Pursuit skate rollerskis
No one had skied them previously, so none of us knew what to expect, but independently, everyone scored them very highly, with most testers ranking them their overall favorite. Wow. Every good scientific study does its best to minimize bias, but that’s obviously very difficult when the name brand of the ski is staring right at you — so for these skis to score the highest marks with no preconceived notions of their strengths shows just how good these skis really are.
The price is right, too, as they’re over a $100 cheaper than most of the other skis reviewed. It will be interesting to see how well they stand the test of time, but they’re off to a great start.
Specialty Skis
What is particularly interesting about the skis in this next group is all of them do a certain thing(s) very well. They may not be the best “all-around” skis, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t the best skis for you.
First and foremost, we were very eager to try the Rundle Sport FLEX (1.07 kg). This ski was reported to be more comfortable and more forgiving than most other skis and the entire test team was excited about checking this out for ourselves. Are these skis noticeably smoother on rough pavement? In a word, yes. So if you’re stuck in an area with the dreaded “chip ‘n’ seal”:
A “chip ‘n’ seal” road in the U.S. (Photo: Wikipedia)
not to be confused with Chippendales (who are suitable for any road surface)…
Chippendales
…these skis are for you. Where you won’t like them is on high-speed descents or hard cornering. So if you’re rollerskiing’s answer to Bode Miller, you believe all time spent traveling in a straight line is time wasted, or hair-on-fire downhills are your jam, you’re not going to be feeling the love with the Rundles. If you’re recovering from injury, are forced to train on bad roads or are just all about comfort, snap these up now and these are the most comfortable skis we tested.
The GlobuloNero (0.89 kg) is made in Italy. Full disclosure: I love Italy. Amazing food, fashion, culture and style, but Italians do things their own way. For example, they use the word ‘schedule’ very differently than people in most other countries, as their use is really more of an aspiration or suggestion for things like trains and planes than it is a predictor of what time any given form of government-run transportation will actually arrive. That is, if it arrives.
My missing GlobuloNero part
This ski fits that concept perfectly: they are the Ferrari of skis. If and when they finally do arrive, they come with a silk scarf, a bottle of cologne and a nice bottle of red wine. They are all carbon, including the fenders, and as such, they are just oozing with style. Like the Ferrari, they also have their idiosyncrasies. For example, the “nut” that holds the axle in place is, naturally, a custom shape, so losing it is like losing your baggage in the Rome airport: you won’t be traveling anywhere soon. I know this for a fact, too, as I did somehow manage to lose this crazy piece when it mysteriously decided to abandon ship mid-workout to start a new life nested into the roadside bushes. Despite many calls to many places, surprisingly no one had what looks like it should be a very common part.
Just as I had begun to accept the fact that these Italian works of art would forever be relegated to the floor of my garage, Eagle Eyes Smullin retracted our steps (well, strides) and somehow managed to find this part as it was setting up shop in the drainage ditch. That’s some Teammate of the Year sh*t right there.
Other reviewers didn’t score them as highly as me, but I love these skis. Maybe it’s because they’re like me — smooth, stylish and sexy, but also temperamental. Like the IDTs, they can also be difficult to find in the States. Unlike the IDTs however, there appears to be no plan to improve this, which, well, is what it is. The company also claims that they are designed for skiers over 70 kg (154 lbs) which is weird, as you don’t usually see carbon-fibre components with minimum weights, but hey, they’re Italian, remember? And stop asking so many questions — your train is going to eventually get here. Maybe.
Don’t forget either, this is a gear and style column and no skis have more style than the GlobuloNero. C’mon, everyone and their brother has a set of Marwes or Swenors, right? So if you’re one of those people who likes to look good, doesn’t mind waiting six months for these to arrive from Europe and won’t throw a fit when your Ferrari breaks down yet again, you owe it to yourself to buy a set of these. Other skis may score a bit higher or have their own performance niche, but Globos have style. Start the ordering process now and you might just have them for next summer. Maybe. If not, have a nice glass of chianti and go sit in your Ferrari that currently won’t start for some strange reason. Any good Italian will tell you that it’s too nice a day to go rollerskiing anyway.
This was the lightest (0.80 kg) and shortest ski in the test, and not surprisingly the most twitchy and tippy. This skis felt smooth when you were on top of them, but balance was a challenge. Now, for small, light skiers or younger athletes, these might be perfect. Plus, they are a coach’s dream: learn how to be stable on these bad boys and you’ll have Andy Newell’s cat-like reflexes in no time. Assuming you have the balance for them, they will likely excel for hard-charging juniors looking to impress U.S. national-team coach Matt Whitcomb by breaking lots of sh*t on the agility course at a regional elite camp. So if that’s you — you ski Soldier Hollow often or your preferred training loop is a bike path, filled with the tight, blind corners (which seem to be obligatory in most ski-town bike paths), self-absorbed dog walkers with their 30 foot, knee-level, rollerskier snare line — these skis are for you.
It always warms my cold heart when companies go “all in,” on these tests and send everything but the kitchen sink. That was the case here, as Swenor sent us two pairs of skate skis and three pairs of classic. I love the enthusiasm and aggressive product positioning, but the problem here is that we didn’t love the skis. To be clear, we didn’t hate them, but we didn’t love them either (at least for skate; the classic scored better and that review will be coming shortly).
What’s wrong with these skis? Well, nothing actually, but as the test matrix shows, the Skate Elite (1.05 kg) got edged out in basically every category. It is still a very solid ski and its performance was solid in every category but of the seven testers, not one single person had them in their top group. For the record, everyone (that’s right, all seven testers) had the Marwe, IDT and Pursuit in their top three. Not everyone had these three in the same order, but everyone had them as their top three (and as noted, every tester had a private scoring matrix that wasn’t shared until the testing was complete). The fact that the Skate Elite never made the top three on anyone’s list meant that in good conscience we simply couldn’t group this ski with the Marwe, IDT and Pursuit.
Swenor Skate rollerskis
The second ski from Swenor, the Skate (0.94 kg) fared worse. No one was particularly impressed with this ski’s performance on rough pavement and they had the added distraction of being quite loud and rattly (for reasons we will go into shortly). Both a strength and weakness was that this was the only ski with built in speed reducers. This is a strength, as it seems like the ability to even somewhat regulate your speed could come in handy from time to time. It’s a weakness as, god damn it, these things were loud.
Swenor Skate rollerski brake
The mechanism itself isn’t all that user-friendly either, as it required bending down to turn a dial on the ski to add resistance. This is really more of a “hey, this downhill looks steep, I’d better pull over and add some rolling resistance so I don’t die,” type of system, than a braking system per se. I can just hear all of the haters out there firing up their Internets to fire off a scathing missive about FBD being a “brake hater,” (Is that even a thing?), so let’s all save each other some time and I’ll go on record right here saying I love the concept of brakes. What sane person doesn’t? I’d just like them to work, that’s all.
To be blunt, this ski was a disappointment. Fischer makes great snow skis, so we were expecting big things from them. They got off to a great start as they look sexy as hell, but things went downhill as soon as we picked them up, for despite being carbon, these skis were the heaviest in the entire test, by a lot (1.22 kg).
The situation got even weirder (not the Jersey Shore guy, who is already quite weird) when we skied them too, for again, despite being carbon, the ride was just OK and surprisingly non-compliant for a carbon ski. This was surprising. To be clear, this is still not a bad ski, but simply not as good as others in the test. The fact that we had such high hopes for the ski probably also increased our disappointment to some degree. This SHOULD be a great ski, we all wanted it to be a great ski, it just wasn’t. The weight was an added buzzkill.
The biggest disappointment of the test was the Elpex F1 Composite (1.03 kg). We were all super-psyched to try this ski, but one didn’t have to ski far to realize that something was wrong, very wrong. In fact the skis felt so off that we believe there may have been a binding mounting error, as this ski felt like you were riding a bicycle backwards to every tester. Hopefully this problem can be identified and corrected, as we still believe that this ski has promise.
This has got to stop
Lastly, the one area that we’ve danced around a bit, but is never far from our mind, is safety. Quite simply, venturing out onto open roads with no viable method of controlling your speed is nothing short of insane. Yes, you can moderate your risk a bit by picking safer courses, but even so, you don’t seriously think that nothing is ever going to suddenly appear in your way on even the most deserted country road or bike path, do you? Unless you’ve taken over for Matt Damon on an abandon space station on Mars, you’re going to encounter obstacles in your path on training skis.
The problem is that rollerski brakes have previously all been pretty crappy. A few differently companies have tried, but the end results have been underwhelming, with all of the systems having problems of some sort. Or almost all of them.
One reviewer’s rollerski rankingOne of the big revelations of this test was putting an after-market braking system from the Rollerski Shop though its paces. I am very pleased to report that the system worked quite well. It’s design is quite simple and effective: a lever arm applies pressure to your rear wheel. The lever arm is engaged by a pull handle that hooks to either a waist strap or your drink belt. It takes a little fooling around to get the whole system tensioned correctly, but once you do, it works well (this video offers some truly compelling footage of the system in action).
Don’t get me wrong, 180 mm Shimano disc-brake rotors these are not, but of all of the braking systems I have ever tried, this one is by far the best. It adds essentially no weight to your skis, it is quiet, effective and can be activated easily and quickly. Remember, it’s not just that this makes you safer on your existing courses, but it also opens up a whole new set of options for you. How many times have you not done a potentially great training loop because there’s some nasty intersection at the bottom of a big hill? Or blind corner? Or dead end? Or lake, if you’re skiing with Billy Demong? If you’re too cool for school and think brakes are only for people with no skills and no balls, take it easy Rambo and justify the purchase by telling yourself that you’re finally going to be able to ski “Dead Man’s Hill,” or whatever the equivalent is in your town (every town has one). When the brake just happens to save you from a crash when a delivery truck driver suddenly pulls out of a driveway or a 150-lb, learning-impaired Great Dane comes charging toward you, poised for a powerful, collarbone shattering head-on collision, you can thank me later.
So what are you waiting for? Go treat yourself to a brand, spankin’ new set of whap sticks. After all, who deserves it more than you, right? Do us a favor too and spring for the brakes as well. Not only do we want everyone to be safe out there, but it just so happens that we have a few more amazing clothing reviews coming in the next few weeks and we want each and every one of you healthy, happy and safe so you all can bask in the glory that is FBD gear reviews.
Fast Big Dog’s black lab and “ultimate training partner”, Pdiggy, models the FBD’s pick for Best in Show jacket for a 35-45 degree rainy workout: the Arc’teryx Norvan Jacket. Next up: what to wear on a 35-45 degree sunny run or rollerski.
Up next in Best in Show, logically, is our picks for 35-45 degree Fahrenheit sunny runs/rollerskis. Now I know what you’re thinking and before any wise guy writes in, “Dude, it’s 90 degrees here now…..” check out the screen shot I took just before my run earlier this month (below). It may be warm where you are, but it’s still cold here in the morning, so there.
FBD’s weather screen shot from early July in Steamboat Springs, Colo.
What’s proving to be interesting about these reviews is how one particular company tends to do very well in a given temperature range. Whether it is an increased emphasis in R&D for a new product line, the company’s roots in any particular endeavor (it stands to reason that Swix would be good ski gear and Patagonia good surf gear), it is very interesting how one brand often tends to be just a bit stronger in one particular stratum. Case in point, after the last review was published, one of my fellow coaches asked, “Hey Arc’teryx fan-boy, does your uncle own that company or something?” (You see the crap that I have to put up with every day?). To answer that question, no, no member of the FBD family of swift, powerful canines has any conflict of interest or financial ties to any of these companies whatsoever.
To this point, Patagonia did particularly well in this test. And without tipping my hand too much, my crazy travel schedule and the highly variable and unpredictable weather this spring has resulted in us testing many garments for different temperature ranges concurrently, so the Best in Show testing for >75 degree outfits is well underway. In that particular temperature range, yet another company is doing very well and will likely have more representation than its competitors, so let’s talk about this for a second.
When the coach drew up the plan for this column on the theoretical and imaginary chalkboard, the idea was to review offerings from all of the top brands for several different temperature ranges and pick the cream of the crop. The theory was that it would provide a diverse array of products from several different manufacturers. This is proving to not be the case. As noted above, from time to time you have seen and likely will see one company featured a bit more prominently. This is not because they are the only ones who sent in product, Yvon Chouinard pulled my stupid Great Dane from a burning building or I have use of a free, luxury fishing cabin in Canada (come on Arc’teryx, time to step it up). No, this is because, as noted above, these products are simply testing a bit better. That’s it. And, as any even mildly observant reader knows though, we are the first ones to call out any and all companies if we believe they are dropping the ball (see our base layer review).
I would also like to point out that my life would be a lot easier if the product testing produced a nice, even mix from a wide variety of manufacturers, but that’s not what’s happening, so that’s not what’s being reported. The cowardly move is to write about products that weren’t quite as good purely in the name of some phony baloney goal of trying to make the review look more balanced, but we set off on this wonderful journey together to tell you, the loyal reader, what was truly “Best in Show,” so that’s what we’re doing, even if the results could potentially look slanted.
I wanted to clear the air here, because it’s a bit ironic that in our efforts to do the right thing, it could look like we’re taking the easy way out. Like you, however, we’re nordic skiers, and if we wanted to take the easy way out, we would be in a local darts league, not skiing around a nordic center at 6 a.m. when it is -10 degrees. With that out of the way, let’s dive in.
If it’s sunny and 65, it’s pretty hard to goof it your clothing choices, but choose poorly when it’s 40 degrees and you’ll be sorry. Given this, the Patagonia Thermal Speedwork Jacket is simply perfect for this temperature range. It is warm, but not too warm. The hand of the fabric is what really did it for me though, as it is basically like wearing a thin, albeit tight-fitting sweat shirt. The weight, the mobility and the flexibility of this garment made it the top pick for tops.
It is also surprisingly windproof, a real must for a top layer in this temperature range. The only downside is it is most definitely not designed for rain, as this bad boy guzzles liquids like a Great Dane puppy after eating a five-pound bag of flour.
Pwolfy after the flour episode.
The test piece came in green, which is not particularly my favorite color, as being 6’3”, I can easily resemble a giant tree if I’m not careful with my color palate, but the underwater blue color option is on point.
If it looks like this:
FBD’s weather screen shot from early July in Steamboat Springs, Colo.
2. BASE LAYER: Patagonia Long-Sleeved Nine Trails Shirt
“Why is this guy still trying to kill me?” Olympic Gold Medalist Billy Demong modeling the Patagonia Men’s Long-Sleeved Nine Trails Shirt while choosing his preferred method of FBD torture.
This one is a little tricky as this is the temperature range where you probably see the most variability in layering philosophies. The FBD is well-adapted to winter sports in that I do not get cold very easily, so I tend to be on the lean end of the layering spectrum. Smartwool and Brynje both offer excellent short-sleeve versions for whap-stick rolls/run closer to 45 degrees and if I’m in a nice sunny, dry climate like Colorado or Utah, I would go with one of these two, but if I’m heading out on one of those all-too-common dark, dreary humid East Coast mornings in which the cold, damp air seems to cut right to the bone, I found myself reaching for the Patagonia Long-Sleeved Nine Trails Shirt every time, in particular if the workout is an easy OD roll.
The long sleeves seem to have just a bit more flexibility in its temperature range and like the aforementioned jacket, this piece is so soft and comfortable that even after a long, sweaty tempo run, you’re still comfortable. If you’re doing intervals, I found it perfect to wear as the only layer and even once soaked from charging hills and avoiding agro motorists, it was still super comfortable under the jacket on the roll home. It’s also no so “techy” that you can’t wear it out to the bar. Another winner.
For essentially everyone but the Belgian classics rider, these temps are still tights territory, but since you’re not going to be wet and in particular if you’re working hard, what better way to be warm, but not hot, AND look all Euro-cool with a stylish set of 3/4 tights. Yes, to “commoners” they might look a little foolish, but hey, haters are gonna hate and you’re above all of that: you’ve got races to win, so check your dignity at the door and squeeze your hustle sticks into a pair of Salomon Intensity 3/4 Tights. They have just the right combination of weight, stretch, warmth and breathability. Tights are just tights until they’re wrong and these are most definitely right.
Still too cold to risk the nether regions with cotton or Lycra, so once again, Smartwool boxer briefs are the call.
5. SOCKS: Smartwool
Some interesting feedback from readers after the previous review that Smarties didn’t wear as well as other brands, so we’ve actually added a long-term test to the infamous “To Do” list, but right now we can only hit what’s pitched and these socks are still top of the heap for a run or roll.
NEXT UP: What’s on the Feet
Hold on to your hat, er, helmet, as a full-blown FasterSkier whap-stick review is also underway, so stay tuned for the most comprehensive and objective review since man invented the wheels.
Fast Big Dog’s black lab and ultimate training partner, Pdiggy, models FBD’s pick for Best in Show jacket: the Arc’teryx Norvan Jacket.
Concept
In homage to not just the greatest movie ever made about dog shows (perhaps the only movie ever made about dog shows, but that’s OK, as I often introduce myself as the greatest FasterSkier gear reviewer ever — the fact that I’m the ONLY gear reviewer ever usually doesn’t seem particularly pertinent), I am very proud to present the latest feature in our ongoing search for truth and light: Best in Show (BiS).
Definition
What exact is BiS? I’m glad you asked. It is a bit of a departure from our earlier gear reviews in that this in an overview of what we believe to be the best offerings from all of the manufacturers for any given temperature range. We will not be performing our usual, lengthy, painstaking analysis and comparison of several different products, presenting all of the pluses and minuses. Rather, we will be doing all the behind-the-scenes work of that same lengthy, painstaking analysis, but simply presenting you — the loyal reader — with the best outfit for a 35-to-45-degree rollerski, for example.
This Test
Let’s dive right in. To kick things off, we’ve put together the BiS outfit for the dreaded 35-45 degree run or rollerski (or as Zach Caldwell likes to call them, “whap sticks”). Now, no bitching about this first outfit recommendation being too late in the year, as I recently returned from the USA Nordic Sports and USSA meetings in Park City and on the few days I did manage to squeeze in a workout (despite Billy Demong’s long, rambling PowerPoints), 35-degree rain was the condition that I encountered almost every day.
If you know anything about Billy Demong, you should know three things: he has an Olympic gold medal, if you train with him on whap sticks, there is a very good chance you may die, and he is trying to kill me. Following on the theme of that last point, Billy managed to shame me into a rainy whap-stick roll, (FBD shaming is serious problem facing society today, but that’s a story for another day), so trust me when I tell you that these outfits were tested in some of the crappiest conditions known to man. If it is now warm where you are, rock on in the Daisy Dukes and keep these little tidbits tucked away until fall. Not to fear, we’ll also be doing warm-weather stuff very soon, too.
Results
When it’s this cold and nasty, you’ve really gotta nail it if you want to be survive three hours out there in that crap. That’s where we come in.
This one was easy: as usual, Arc’teryx KILLED IT. Those crazy Canadians sent one and only one top, the Norvan Jacket and quite frankly, it blew everything else away in this category. It is light, breathable, warm, dry, and the cut is perfect. The attention to detail is spot-on and every little feature works perfectly.
For example, instead of no-armpit ventilation like many other products in this class, or clunky, heavy, pit zips, The Bird has clever armpit vents that are the perfect size (see Figure 1 below). The length of the cuffs is also slightly offset (Figure 2), providing just a touch more coverage on the outside, which again, is perfect. The color, styling and overall fit are also dead on the mark, so this was an easy pick for BiS.
Arc’teryx armpit vents (Figure 1)Arc’teryx offset arm cuffs (Figure 2)
I have been champing at the bit ever since my ground-breaking and revolutionary base layer review, as a few loyal readers chimed in about a Norwegian brand Brynje.
Always looking to build a better mouse trap, I immediately wrote these folks after receiving the very favorable feedback about this brand in the comments section on my base layer review, and low and behold, they were kind enough to send a few thousand different pieces. Long story short: the stuff is awesome.
They sent everything but the kitchen sink, but the piece that really stood out in these conditions was the thin wool top. It was perfect, so thank you to all of my loyal Norwegian readers for this heads-up. These products are available in the U.S., too, thanks to the magic of the Internets, just point your browser to www.brynje.no and tell ’em Fast Big Dog sent cha. I don’t think that will save you money, but it sure does sound cool.
3. HAT: L.L. Bean Waterproof Baseball Cap
The Toyota Tacoma pickup of rainy day gear is a good hat: neither may be sexy or the first to come to mind, but each are subtle in their perfection. A good hat is indispensable in bad weather, so it should come as no surprise that L.L. Bean — a company that made its name on practical, no-nonsense gear — offers the BiS in this category.
This baseball cap is light, breathable and, most importantly, waterproof. Keeping rain out of your face helps SO much in overall comfort and psyche, that I tip my hat (sorry) to Bean on this one. Good under helmets and solo. Excellent piece.
L.L. Bean Adults’ Waterproof Baseball Cap (Photo: FBD)
4. SHOES:Salomon SpeedCross Pro
Salomon SpeedCross Pro trail-running shoes and SmartWool PhD Run Ultra Light socks are the winners for best shoes and socks. (Photo: FBD)
This is a bit tricky as shoes are very personal, since fit is very individual. Having said that, I know a lot of World Cup skiers who run in Salomon and they seem to fit a wide range of both men’s and women’s feet very well. For a wide variety of reasons, I try to do most of my running on trails, so the ask here is reasonable: light, grippy, stable shoes.
The Salomon SpeedCross Pro fits the bill perfectly. Most of my preferred courses are serpentine singletrack with lots of rocks and roots. Given the preponderance of rain we’ve had in Steamboat, Park City and Philly, these shoes are absolutely perfect. It’s also nice to support a brand that supports our community. Am I perhaps a bit biased toward ski brands? Perhaps, but maybe this is because we are all skiers? Even with this, they are still clearly the BiS for shoes.
5. SOCKS: Smartwool PhD Run Ultra Light
What’s a good pair of shoes without good socks? You’re out of your frickin’ mind if you’re rockin’ cotton for the wet, sloppy trail run or cold, nasty whap-stick roll — “Cotton Kills.” Solution? SmartWool PhD running socks. ’Nuff said.
Now that you know how bad cotton is for your feet, you aren’t actually training in cotton undies, are you? Do you have a death wish? Or perhaps you made a flight to Europe in coach next to a crying baby and you’re thinking you’re going to invest in your future with the ol’ DIY frostbite vasectomy. If that’s your M.O., keep on truckin’ w/ those tighty whitey BVDs. I also understand that if you’re a male nordic skier, you probably haven’t had a date with a girl in quite some time, perhaps ever, but don’t panic — at some point you’ll work up the courage to ask out a real, live woman (not an avatar or inflatable model) and if that goes well, you’re going to want everything working properly “downstairs,” so buck up now for some decent wool man-panties: SmartWool PhD Boxer Briefs.
For what it’s worth, I’d had a few pairs of these for years and they are trusted travel companions for all European adventures: comfortable, odor resistant, quick drying for laundry in your hotel sink — in other words, perfect. The new model fits better under tights, so it’s perfect for training, we’ll see if it stands the test of time like its battle-tested predecessors.
7. GLOVES: Toko & Salming
Top picks for Best in Show gloves for running (Salming; top) and rollerski (Toko; bottom). (Photo: FBD)
For rollerskiing, I like Toko’s Rollerski Glove 2.0. They’re breathable, yet solid which for me is quite important, since as I wrote earlier, Billy Demong and gravity both regularly conspire to try to kill me, so durable gloves are a must. Since my self-preservation game is strong and I have no shame, I will use any object in my immediate vicinity on a rollerski in a largely futile attempt help abate my speed: radio antennas on passing cars, roadside vines, power lines, barbed-wire fences, you name it, so my braking/balance techniques often resemble this.
As such, my rollerski gloves must be borderline indestructible and these gloves are that good. If you’re silky smooth and easily roll over FBD-killing, near-invisible rocks, glide gracefully around off-camber, rain-soaked corners and haven’t felt the embarrassment and humiliation of a high-speed, whap-stick yard sale into traffic, then you can kiss my ass and buy whatever glove you want. If you know the thrill of unplanned encounters with concrete and danger lurks around every corner of the dreaded Billy Demong “Park City Loop,” these babies are for you.
For running, I found another great brand with Nordic roots, Salming. They’re lightweight, reflective and very comfortable. Can you run in your ski gloves, sure you can, but then you’re THAT GUY and you don’t want to be that guy, now do you? Fork over the $30 Scrooge for the sweet running jawns; you’ll thank me when the cute girl/guy compliments you on your gloves (which happens to me all of the time).
Don’t be fooled by the fact that tights are last on the list, as they are still plenty important. Goof up this step and you’re totally hosed (I bet all of the ladies out there got this one), so I’m pleased to report that this category had another clear winner: Patagonia. Their Patagonia’s Velocity Running Tights are superior. It seems like this would be hard to get wrong, yet so few people seem to get it right. These babies are tight in all of the right places, yet not too tight. The fabric is light and breathable, yet still warm. Remarkably, they’re also quite thin, which makes it perfect for wet training days.
***
Now you’re out of excuses, so get out there.
Oh yeah, and if you see me screaming (literally and figuratively) down some god-damn 60 mph downhill in Park City, Lake Placid or Steamboat with Billy Demong gracefully weaving his way through obstacles, do me a solid and carefully position your vehicle near me for some type of elaborate car antennae reverse slingshot maneuver. Sure, this won’t work, but this way when you stop to pick up your broken antennae, you can give me a ride to the hospital.
LTD Gear Review: Ultimate Puffies (All photos by FBD)
Since amazingly I haven’t been fired by FasterSkier (yet), LTD is back with our undoubtedly eagerly awaited second installment of puffy coat reviews. In the first review, we tackled “lifestyle” puffies. These are the Swiss Army Knives of your closest — they do it all. You can wear them to and from the tracks, warm up in them for races, impress the ladies in the coffee shop Après-ski or wear them out to dinner, and Holly Beattie won bronze in the relay at World being warm and stylish the entire time.
This is the review of their big brothers. While the lifestyle puffies may be the Sugar Ray Leonards of your wardrobe, pound for pound the kings of the closet, these are the heavyweight prize fighters: the Mike Tysons, Evander Holyfields, the Muhammad Alis — big, bad and heavy. This isn’t your ‘go-to’ jacket for most days; this is what you pull out when you’re getting ready to slug it out for several hours out in the cold. We call these the “ultimate puffies.”
As you all should know by now, nothing is more important than looking good. Learn it. Know it. Live it. Now, having said that, you’re likely asking yourself, “Self, those ultimate puffies make you look like you’re heading off on an Everest expedition. How can I possibly look good in one of those monstrosities?” Great question, self, I am proud of you. You have been paying attention.
Now please listen (read), very, very carefully here, as this is the ONE instance in which I am willing to grant you special dispensation on the fashion front in the name of function. These jackets are utilitarian. They are work horses. They have a very important job to do — they were put on Earth to keep your whiny, needy, nordic ass warm when it is downright nasty, so here and only here, we are we going to make allowances in style in the name of not catching pneumonia.
You all know the scene — we’ve all been there — it is below zero and it’s race day, but you’re a team player, so you’re out there cheering on teammates/children/parents or friends, working the wax table for hours on end, or maybe you are even on-course, giving it your all in these brutal conditions.
Or perhaps you are sitting for what seems like an eternity with 70,000 of your closest friends at some seemingly pointless spectator event as a part of the soul-crushing office job that you hate, watching overpaid millionaire mercenaries give each other closed head injuries while horribly inebriated indigenous personnel scream obscenities at players they worshiped as recently as a week ago. This bizarre fleeting devotion is even more puzzling due to the fact that essentially none of these steroid-abusing, sexual-assault purveyors are actually from the city they are purported to be representing and they garner god-like status despite their often glaringly illegal and immoral acts. Drown dogs with your bare hands? Beat defenseless women unconscious? KILL other humans? No problem, we love you as long as your ball skills are solid. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, those stadiums can be quite cold, so you need a warm coat.
So, since no one loves you like we do here at FasterSkier, we went out and got ourselves cold so you don’t have to.
The Process:
We covered this in excruciating detail in the first review, so in the name of brevity I’m going to skip all of the gory details this time around since all of the same terms and conditions exist in this review as well. If you’re a stickler for details or just love to read my beautifully crafted prose, give yourself a treat and dive back in to the last installment and bask in the awesomeness that is my detailed description of testing protocols, disclosure statements, and conflicts of interest.
Selection Criteria:
I am going to repeat the description of how each particular jacket was selected though, as not only is is very important, but I want to take as many steps as prudent to avoid any angry mail. The companies picked the jackets, not us, so if you have an axe to grind, write them, not me. Or the executives at FasterSkier, as near as I can tell, all of those people seem quite lonely and most certainly need more to do.
I would also like to emphasize how carefully and extensively every single piece was tested. I love gear. My team loves gear. There is no place all of us would rather be than outside doing cool stuff, so this is a responsibility we take very, very seriously. So while we did beat the crap out of these jackets, we did so due to our commitment to you the reader, the skier, the parent, the coach, the person standing out there in the cold for hours. Jackets are expensive, so we did our best to ensure that when you’re ready to pull the trigger on a new “Muhammad Ali,” we know we’ve done our best to give you the intellectual ammo to make the best possible purchase for your specific needs.
The Reviews:
Arc’teryx
Since no one takes manufacturers’ claims of “windproof” as skeptically as our team, FBD is shown here doing his best Labrador Retriever imitation, heading up Rabbit Ears Pass in Colorado at 60 mph in sub-zero temps wearing an Arc’teryx Men’s Ceres Down Jacket.
In this “ultimate puffy” category, Arc’teryx sadly only sent us one jacket, a men’s Ceres. I say “sadly,” because this coat is amazing. Once again “The Bird” (they used that on the phone with me, so I therefore feel authorized to throw this out, plus it makes me sound like I know what I’m talking about and I like that) absolutely killed it. Essentially every (male) tester agreed that this was the warmest jacket in the test and it handled every challenge we threw at it with style and grace.
Warm? Check. Durable? Check. Stylish? Check. What’s not to love? Well, the only downside to this heavyweight champ is that all of these features come at a cost, as this was the most expensive jacket testing, but damn is it nice.
As was the case in the “lifestyle puffies,” the fit is a bit generous, so if you’re a 6’6”, 118-pound IT technician or web programmer, this may not be the coat for you. If you’re a big, strapping man like the FBD, you’ll grab this every time there’s a sub-zero wind chill and the coaching zone you’ve been assigned to cover at the World Cup is the farthest one humanly possible from the nice warm wax cabin.
Strengths: Very warm. Shell has a perfect mix of durability and flexibility.
Weaknesses: May necessitate a second mortgage. Fit might be a bit loose on the ectomorphs out there in the studio audience.
Buy it if: You’ll pay any amount of money to be warm while you’re sitting in the Eagles stadium watching angry, drunken, shirtless guys from Philadelphia throw beer at angry, drunken shirtless guys from New York, wondering how you life went so wrong. Or if you attend races anywhere in New England or Montana. Or Greenland. Who knows if there are actually nordic races in Greenland, but it seems like if there are, they’d be really, really cold.
Patagonia
Patagonia Women’s Fitz Roy Down Parka
While maybe not quite as warm as the Arc’teryx, the offerings from Patagonia were quite close. They provide the test team a men’s and women’s Fitz Roy. In short, everyone loved these jackets. Both of the puffies were puffy, but not too puffy (all of my English professors just committed suicide after reading that sentence, sorry Mrs. Dixon et al.).
One of my favorite comments from our testing log was, “I love this jacket, is it so soft and warm it feels like I’m wearing a sleeping bag that moves with me perfectly.” I agree with this assessment, as the jacket really does feel that soft and unrestricting. Is it too soft? Well, thankfully the Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club cross-country ski team has essentially boundless energy and a near-total immunity to cold, so we repeated our patented “Penguin Slide” testing protocol and I’ll say this, none of the Patagonia garments had the slightest snag or tear, despite repeated runs down the very steep face of Howelsen Hill (as a point of reference, there are ski jumps are about 30 meters from our slide test area, so that should give you some idea of the steepness of the slope).
So is this a guarantee that these coats will never rip? Of course not, but what it is intended to do is provide some assurance that if you’re standing in your favorite local outdoor retailer thinking, “Man, the material on this coat looks thin,” it is, but it is durable. Very durable.
Patagonia Men’s Fitz Roy Down Jacket (Patagonia.com)
We’ve now been testing these jackets daily for over two months without a single problem. If you’re working on monster trucks or an offshore oil derrick, could you damage it? Maybe. But if you are doing any of those things, you’re probably not reading this review and you’re most likely firmly in the Carhartt camp anyway, so stop wasting my time with all of these stupid questions.
Strengths: Warmest coat for its weight, very compressible hence very packable, also very soft and flexible. Cool colors, nice style for both fraüleins and bros.
Weaknesses: MAY tear more easily than some of the other coats, but this is just a theory, so no angry letters, Patagonia, and again, we tested this extensively and had no problems.
Buy it if: You want a very versatile, warm puffy and you don’t work on monster trucks or offshore oil rigs.
L.L. Bean
L.L. Bean Wind Challenger Down Jacket
As they did for the last review, L.L. Bean provided us another official model of the jacket they are supplying to the U.S. Ski Team this year, the Wind Challenger. The FBD testing crew was almost as divided as the Bloods and Crips in the L.L. Bean vs. Patagonia debate (as much as this metaphor could ever possibly fit a bunch of mountain-town nordic ski coaches), as the approaches of these two brands are almost polar opposite.
Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club nordic coach Josh Smullin (second from l) rocking the L.L. Bean Wind Challenger jacket on a cold walk back from breakfast at training camp with some SSWSC rock stars.
Patagonia’s garments are warm, light, colorful, fashion-forward and very soft. L.L. Bean took the opposite tact and developed jackets that are also very warm, but much thicker, subdued and beefy. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as heavy = durable, and understated is a plus for people who don’t want to “pop” when they hit the town.
I love any sort of attention and generally live my life by the philosophy of “there’s no such thing as bad publicity,” but if flying under radar is your M.O., this coat is for you.
It’s a great coat and it feels like it can take a beating, a concept for which we are all quite fond.
L.L. Bean Women’s Wind Challenger Down Jacket (LLBean.com)
Strengths: Heavier outer layer likely more abrasion resistant. Official supplier to the U.S. Ski Team. Not too flashy.
Weaknesses: The hand on this coat is not nearly as soft or pliable as the others, in particular the Patagonia. Not super colorful. Not quite as packable, which is important when Grover says you can only bring one bag to Europe for your four-month trip.
Buy it if: You channel your inner Andy Newell on your ski every day, you own a non-declawed cat, or you are thinking of buying a monster truck and/or are applying for oil rig work.
(Ed note: our team of researchers is currently investigating whether monster trucks are allowed on oil rigs).
Big Agnes
Big Agnes Men’s Dunkley Belay Jacket
Big Agnes sent their apologies, but not a women’s coat, which is a shame as the men’s coat, the Dunkley Belay Jacket is excellent. It was the only jacket in the test with synthetic insulation (for women’s synthetic-jacket options, click here), and the down vs. synthetic is a debate that has ravaged mankind since the dawn of time.
Big Agnes Men’s Dunkley Belay Jacket (BigAgnes.com)
Much has been written on both sides, so I won’t bore all of you with the details again here, but the executive summary is that this coat out-performs all of the others in the wet. I just happen to personally own last year’s model and like it a lot, but I had two serious issues with the zipper, one of which required an exchange. Big Agnes was very gracious about this, but even the replacement garment wasn’t perfect. Unfortunately our test garment also had a bit of a finicky zipper, which was real drag (no pun intended) when trying to put the coat on with cold hands after a race.
Strengths: Stacked up to the “downies” when dry. Warmest coat when wet. Perfect buy for people who recreate the ALS Challenge all winter and athletes who bathe their pets outside regardless of conditions. Or anyone who owns a Labrador Retriever, an animal that somehow manages to magically attract cold, wet conditions year-round, particularly in your car.
Weaknesses: Least packable of all of the coats. Zipper issues seem more common than they should be, in particular for a coat in this price range.
Buy it if: You work at a winter car wash or ski places where the dreaded snow/rain transition is all-too-frequent.
Bjørn Daehlie
Bjørn Daehlie Women’s Shelter Jacket
The friendly folks at BD flipped the script on us on this one and sent a women’s ultimate puffy, the Shelter Jacket, but not a men’s, so this review is for women, by women. The garment sent was also the same version used by the U.S. Ski Team last year, so it’s got plenty of street cred.
This jacket was one of the best “all-arounders” for the ladies. It is warm, stylish and feels durable. One of our testers was an elite skier and subsequently received her fair share of team jackets and this was one of her favorites. Despite being from Alaska, she is surprisingly prone to getting cold, so she could be found busting out some of her AK coaching knowledge in this beauty even when out on skiing.
I don’t think I’d actually do a workout in it, but it has nice mobility which means it is perfect to wear out to coach or any other start/stop activity. It is also ideal if you ski like one of our other testers Josh Smullin, in that in an effort to inflate your training hours, you take frequent breaks mid-workout for water and to make long phone calls. If you meet any of these criteria, BOOM, this jacket is for you.
Strengths: Great all-around coat for women. Good weight. Good warmth. Great mobility. Great style. Extremely economical. Best value in entire test.
Weaknesses: People will ask you if you’re Josh Smullin (never a good thing) or if you lie a lot in your training log. Coaches may attempt to activate the “auto-stop” feature on your heart rate monitor.
Buy it if: You think your genealogy somehow traces back to Norwegian superstar Bjørn Daehlie, you’re a fan of this very stylish, iconic nordic brand, or you’re currently a little light on your yearly training hours.
Bonus track
L.L. Bean’s Women’s Baxter State Parka. Not exactly a puffy, but we’ll review it anyway.
One of the many things that makes this job fun is watching companies blatantly ignore my ridiculously simple instructions. People don’t send stuff they are supposed to send. People do sent stuff they’re not supposed to send. No one sends stuff on time and everyone yells at me when the reviews are late and weird. What I’m saying is I’m the victim here.
Having said that, business is a full-contact sport — I get that. I have an alter ego that is out fighting a good fight in the corporate world right now and no one understands better than I that corporate goals may not always mesh with my goofy editorial goals. Perhaps even more importantly, as noted in the lifestyle puffy review, no one hates rules more than the FBD, so when L.L. Bean sent two jackets that seemed to defy all categories, the Baxter State Parka, I appreciated the gesture. The question became however, “What the hell do we do with these things?” So since Bean was aggressive, clever and innovative enough to send a special category of jackets, who am I to stifle this creative energy? So here’s a very special bonus review.
What are these mysterious category-defying garments? Well, that depends on when you grew up. There was a time when these pieces were called “snorkel jackets” and “back in the day,” you ruled the playground if you had one. I still remember poor Mark Woods having to sit on the playground in third grade in Michigan in mid-winter without any jacket or shirt to prove his worthiness for inclusion into the “Snorkel Club.” (Mark later passed away with complications from pneumonia and will be missed greatly. Very sad story.) Well, apparently, what’s old is what’s new again and these babies are making a comeback.
This styling on these “snorkels” is a bit controversial, but generally well received. One young, hip female reviewer absolutely loved this jacket and rocked it hard on a team trip in Aspen. In perhaps the quote of the year, she noted, “I’m not a trophy wife, but I’m dressed like I could be and I kinda like that.” And that’s saying a lot in Aspen.
On the other side of the coin, probably our most conservative male coach also loved this jacket and regularly wore it around town, having never looked better.
A fishing vest, no proof that it’s on steroids
Strengths/Weaknesses: Fabric feels like it can stop a bullet. Hood features synthetic-fur trim and makes you a dead ringer for Kenny when fully deployed. More pockets than a fishing vest on steroids. Coat weighs more than me, folds to approximate size of my Great Dane. Will likely survive a nuclear blast.
Buy it if: You rock Ray-Ban aviators in the winter, you drive a Range Rover to races, or you live alone in a backwoods cabin and trap your own food all winter. Or you fear an assassination attempt.
***
Conclusion:
We’re at that time of year when it can be very cold at many nordic venues and we’ve already covered that it’s really no fun to be cold. Since all of you over-trained nordic nerds out there already have compromised immune systems from the white blood cell-suppressing combination of a high-training volume, never going easy (as hey, there’s no way I’m letting THAT guy pass me up this hill on a training day) and getting up at 4:30 am to watch the live coverage of the World Cup, you deserve to treat yourself to a nice, warm puffy to throw on after the Land of Lakes Loppet so you can finally lick that nasty cold that’s been dogging you for months. Don’t forget, the Birkie is just around the corner and you need to be healthy if you are going to dominate wave 5.
Up Next:
Base layers and/or wind briefs (Yup, we are going THERE), or maybe the world’s coolest training monitoring system, or maybe something else. Or maybe nothing else, as I’m convinced that these columns are slowly killing me. And my Great Dane almost started a fire in my house the other day, so it seems as though I now attempt to cheat death on a daily basis and someday this just has to catch up to me.
On a completely unrelated note, if anyone is interested in adopting a Great Dane “puppy,” please contact me offline: low miles, one owner, never been crashed.
About the Author: Jon Schafer, known in U.S. nordic circles as Fast Big Dog, is a cultural anomaly: part man, part myth. He spent the better part of a month hitchhiking from Costa Rica to Alaska, carrying his skis the entire time, with only his quick wit and love of tequila to keep him going. … He skis, he rides, he writes and he paddles.
Welcome to FasterSkier’s newest series, “Living The Dream” (alternate working title is, “Why are we doing intervals again today?”). LTD will be a somewhat regular feature offering nordic skiers of all levels insight into many of the elements that make our sport great: I’ll be offering up advice/recommendations/observations/reviews on gear, training, travel and “other stuff TBD” as I generally don’t like rules, restrictions or guidelines (not to mention authority, deadlines, or good grammar). I’m coming off the line hot, too, with the inaugural column being a gear review of puffy coats — after all, what skier doesn’t like a good puffy coat?
Selection Criteria
Fast Big Dog’s dog
Picking the right puffy coat is a lot like picking the right skis, dog or spouse (listed in order of importance). This process is personal and unique, with different traits being important to different people and several factors impacting the ultimate decision.
(As a quick aside on topic number two, if your significant other happens to talk you into the acquisition of a Great Dane puppy, be prepared for months of house breaking, a general indifference toward acknowledging their name — the dog, not the significant other — and a voracious appetite for light bulbs. You’ve been warned.)
So as we prepare to embark on this wonderful journey together to outfit you, the reader, in just the right jacket, let’s lay down some ground rules:
Nothing is more important than looking good. Never forget this. Ever.
If you’re one of those dudes who wears race suit bottoms into the coffee shop or grocery store after a workout, you should probably stop reading now — there is nothing we can do for you here. Oh, and stop doing that. Stop it right now.
If you’re an athlete, coach, parent or generally interested bystander who is looking for the “ultimate puffy” — the warmest jacket know to man for hours of standing around the race course in sub-zero temps — have no fear, we have you covered for this, too, (no pun intended) in next month’s column.
This first review is for a category I deemed “lifestyle puffies,” coats that are all about being warm but also looking good. If you’re looking for one winter coat, this is it. If you’re one of those skiers that has two light beers at a wedding and is bombed, then proceeds to tear up the dance floor for two hours with your one move, the only tool you own is a Leatherman or you’ve always secretly admired Batman’s utility belt, well this is your lucky day, as today we are going to get you in your perfect “all-in-one” jacket.
The last rule is also the first rule, when in doubt, always refer to rule #1.
The Process
For the test jackets, I reached out to all of the usual suspects, most of whom were kind enough to provide both men’s and women’s jackets. This was greatly appreciated, as I believe that many reviewers come up small in their analysis as it is often a dude reviewing products for both men and women and from what I can remember from my high-school biology class, there are some important anatomical differences between men and women, although many of the specifics escape me at this time.
To help combat my complete and utter lack of understanding of the fairer sex, I recruited a crackerjack team of female coaches/skiers/bad asses to provide their perspective on each garment. In addition, to keep these reviews as balanced and bias-free as possible, I also asked a few other male nordic coaches to help me with the testing. This entire testing team ranged in age from early twenties to an undetermined amount over-50 and collectively has well over 100 years of experience nordic skiing. Was this a double-blind, prospective, longitudinal peer-reviewed study? No. But I did my best to bring in perspectives from both sexes and several ages to provide as balanced and complete of an analysis as possible and reasonable for a winter-jacket review.
Since I pretend to be a scientist when I’m off duty from FasterSkier, I can’t help but throw in a staple of every good scientific paper or presentation: a disclosure statement. I’m a Steamboat boy from way back, as are a few of the other coaches, though certainly not all. One of the companies, Big Agnes, is based in Steamboat. I am also involved with the U.S. Ski Team and unless you’ve been living in a cave (in which case this review will be perfect for you, as caves can be quite cold and drafty) you likely know that L.L. Bean is the new official gear supplier to the U.S. Ski Team. In addition, I’ve either been on teams or been personally sponsored by Arc’teryx and Mountain Hardware in several different pursuits and activities. Several of my good friends are sponsored by Swix, Salomon and L.L. Bean. So in short, almost the entire review team has or had relationships with almost all of the companies. Having said this, I think everyone did an excellent job of evaluating the coats based on their merit — we all love skiing and we all love gear. The old adage, “There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear” rings true to all of us every day so we did our best to provide honest, accurate recommendations with the hope that each and every one of you reading this can be as comfortable as possible out there doing the sport we all love.
On the other side of this disclosure, it is also very important to point out that these are straight-up legit reviews: I know firsthand that other “outside” magazines and web sites require companies to pay money to be considered for reviews, which is appalling in my opinion, as this crosses the line from review into gloried advertisement. I can assure you that this was not the case here — companies were not asked to provide any remuneration whatsoever, nor were we pressured or offered enticements in any way from any of the companies.
Finally, almost all of the coats in this review are in the “good to excellent” range, but what made this process very interesting is just how different many of them were out in the field. One of our main objectives is to therefore describe the circumstances in which each piece will perform optimally and help guide skiers to the jacket that will best meet their needs.
Criteria
In terms of how each particular jacket was picked from the vast array of options, I provided identical selection criteria to each company and asked them to send the product that they felt best met these standards. Representatives from the companies picked the products, so if you’re an over the top fan boy for a particular brand and your “go-to” coat wasn’t picked, email the company, not me.
My entire team did their best to assess as many of the more objective factors (warmth, bulk, fit, etc.) as possible, as well as the more subjective factors (style, use scenarios, etc). We tested all of the jackets in a wide variety of different conditions and environments, from the very usual (loading skis and scraping van windows) to the more unusual:
Based on several meetings and just the right amount of beer, we then came together to create consensus on which coats performed the best in all of the scenarios and based on this meta-analysis, I faithfully and thoughtfully scribed the following review.
The Reviews:
Arc’teryx
Arc’teryx women’s Atom LT Hoody (All photos: FBD)
For this category of the lifestyle puffy, Arc’teryx sent us a men’s Koda parka and the women’s Atom LT Hoody. Arc’teryx sent different models for men and women due to the fact that they do not make a women’s Koda jacket, but they believe these two models to be very comparable, so for the purposes of this review, we are using the two somewhat interchangeably. I am comfortable with this generalization, but please keep this in mind if you read this and want to go running off to the Internets to make the ultimate X-mas gift purchase — don’t yell at me when you can’t find a women’s Koda.
West Yellowstone’s weather Thanksgiving week 2015.
The Koda parka was the warmest of all of the men’s lifestyle puffies, with the women’s Atom LT Hoody in a virtual tie for the top spot in the warmness category as well. Each of them are very, very good coats. Buy this for yourself and you’ll be stoked. Buy it for someone else and you’ll be a hero for years to come. Coming back from breakfast in West Yellowstone, Mont., a few weeks ago, the weather looked like this (see photo at left), and the jacket performed admirably.
The outer layer feels very abrasion-resistant and it held up well for nine intensive days of skiing and coaching in West Yellowstone. If that doesn’t sound like very rigorous testing, you’ve never seen me load and unload wax tables from the team van.
A few of our more fashion-conscious reviewers (both male and female) found both the coloring and styling a little flat and “looked as though it could be going on a mountaineering expedition.” Perhaps since I’ve been on a number of mountaineering expeditions I found this a strength, not a weakness, but it is a fair point. So if you’re looking to ride your fixie home from the tracks to stop and drink PBR with your hipster friends and their ironic facial hair, this may not be the jacket for you. If you are low-key, subtle and have some $$$ to spend (at $449 for the men’s version, this was the most-expensive jacket reviewed in this category), this is the coat for you.
The fit on the men’s jacket is a little more generous than most of the others tested: the FBD is a large, powerful man, so this also was a plus, not a minus, but if you are a little more diminutive, you may find the jacket a little too loose. Interestingly enough, the women’s version seemed to have the opposite fit: two of the reviewers are on the shorter side and found the sizing to be perfect for them, but noted that it may not be ideal for very tall women or those with longer torsos. Overall, this is a very, warm, subdued but sophisticated jacket that looks like it will hold up well to years of serious use.
Strengths: Warm, comfortable, fleece-lined pockets, “quiet style” and durable zippers and outer layer.
Weaknesses: A bit spendy, a few younger reviewers thought the style was a little plain, fit might be too roomy for smaller male frames.
Buy it if: Performance is your top consideration and money is less of an issue, you want to be warm and stylishly understated.
Patagonia
Patagonia Nano-Air Hoody
The fine folks in Ventura, Calif., provided us with a Nano-Air Hoody. The selection of this particular garment surprised us all a bit, as you can’t swing a smoked-up lift op around a mountain town without hitting someone rocking a Patagonia Down Sweater or Nano Puff (this reviewer has one of each), so we fully expected to be sent one of these models. We were not. What was sent however, quickly became of the favorites of the entire team.
Even though this review is focused on jackets to wear to and from skiing, the Nano-Air is so soft, stretchable and lightweight that you can wear it nordic skiing, as well as on the ride to and fro. Two of us also tested it on a killer back-country alpine ski and found it to perform flawlessly, but please note, we were skinning up the hill and working hard on the way down slaying deep powder (yeah, I know, first-world problems…) so we were not only moving the entire time, but also doing so with reasonable intensity.
In all of these use-cases, the coat was basically perfect. Would you ever want to wear it for lift-serviced terrain? Probably not until the mercury tops 30 or so. For spring-party skiing, it’d probably be awesome, but we had a powder day in Steamboat recently and the temp at the top of the mountain was a balmy -2 degrees and I didn’t even consider grabbing this jacket when I left the house.
Overall, this is a killer piece for around town on sunny winter days and it will surely crush it in the spring, fall and cool summer nights in the mountains. Probably one of the best summary comments from the testing feedback forms was, “I love this jacket. It feels more like a hoodie than a jacket and I think I could do all sorts of activities in it or just wear it around as long as it wasn’t super cold.”
Strengths: Incredibly warm for its weight, stretchable, stylish and extremely versatile. Can be worn to the tracks and straight to coffee afterwards or even on the town as a nice hoody. Also a great layering piece.
Weaknesses: Still not as warm as a few of the heavier coats. Probably not the best choice if you live someplace very cold and are looking for a one-coat solution for all of your winter needs.
Buy it if: You are a direct descendant of Nanook of the North, you normally only wear a T-shirt outside all winter, you can thermoregulate like a lizard or you want an incredibly versatile stand-alone or layering piece that will kick ass and take names all year ‘round.
L.L. Bean
L.L. Bean Ultralight 850 Down Hooded Jacket
The newest supplier to the U.S. Ski Team did not disappoint with their offering. The jacket sent to us was the Ultralight 850 Down Hooded Jacket, which is part of the official kit for the U.S. Ski Team and it was rapidly apparent why this is the case: the coat was light, warm and functional. Our version was blue with a contrasting yellow liner that one very fashion-forward female review said made me look “less repulsive than usual.” (Bless you Greta).
L.L. Bean women’s Ultralight 850 Down Hooded Jacket (LL Bean.com)
This jacket also features fleece lined pockets which were a huge hit with the entire coaching staff. Anyone who has spent hours in the cold loading and unloading skis, fiddling with bindings, straps, van keys, video cameras and the myriad of other things that seems to always require removing your gloves, is going to love this feature.
Strengths: A good, solid, all-around coat. Very light and packable. The fact that they support the U.S. Ski Team is also a plus.
Weaknesses: Another coat that is not super flashy. Again, for me, this is a strength, not a weakness, but this is probably not the best choice is you want to go clubbing in New York City, Berlin, or Oslo. Pretty much square in the middle on the warmth/weight ratio scale.
Buy it if: You want to help a company supporting the U.S. Ski Team, you are cost-conscious and you want a very versatile puffy that’ll look good around town and in your race bag at the Birkie. Or if you’re a person who forgets their gloves often.
Big Agnes
Big Agnes Women’s Shovelhead Hooded Jacket
This one is a little tricky, as Big Agnes did not send an entry for the best men’s lifestyle puffy. They did send a women’s coat, the Women’s Shovelhead Hooded Jacket, so while I have no data to report on the men’s side, I can pass along our female reviewers comments.
Big Agnes men’s Shovelhead Hooded Jacket (BigAgnes.com)
Overall, this was a popular coat. All of the women found it to be very warm yet not too bulky or cumbersome. It was more form fitting than the other jackets in this category, which most found to be a plus, though a few female reviewers did note that larger-chested women may not find this cut as comfortable.
Strengths: Best warmth/weight ratio of any women’s jacket. Very packable. Retains warmth well when wet. Very wind resistant. Good for skiers who are always cold.
Weaknesses: May not be good for certain female body types
Buy it if: You are a woman who wants a very lightweight yet warm jacket and your body type fits in the criteria outlined above.
Swix
Swix Romsdal 2.0
This iconic name in nordic skiing provided exactly what we thought they would — a solid, reliable garment, the Swix Romsdal 2.0. It looks very “Nordic,” which is to be expected given the lineage of the brand. Given the audience of this periodical, I’m guessing this will also be a positive in most instances.
The look of this jacket is a bit of the tale of two cities (maybe all Twin Cities residents should therefore go buy one of these immediately), as the men’s version is styled very traditionally, but the women’s coat seems to have just the right amount of flash for all of the female reviewers. Our women’s test jacket was pink with a white band across the upper back and a few snowflakes placed strategically in the banding, which everyone loved. One guest reviewer (a former elite skier and current nordic-store employee) noted, “Oh yeah, we KILL IT with this jacket in the shop. It is one of our best sellers.”
Strengths: Styling of the women’s model seems to be spot-on, not only based on the universal approval of our team of female testers, but also on anecdotal reports of sales. Very economical. Great value.
Weaknesses: Neither the men’s or women’s jacket was incredibly warm, though neither was terrible. The two-tone color on the men’s model looks somewhat traditional and certainly can’t be described as “fashion-forward,” but it that’s not your jam anyway, you’ll be fine.
Buy it if: You’re the type of person with wax stickers on your car. You ski daily. You are a cool mountain-town mom (MTM) or a single dude looking to find a hot, single MTM. Great custom team jacket.
Mountain Hardwear
Mountain Hardwear’s Ghost Whisperer
We received a men’s Ghost Whisperer from Mountain Hardware(again, only a men’s) and this was another one of the coats that made this very elaborate process fun. I’ve owned Mountain Hardwear soft goods for years and have always been impressed with their very pragmatic approach. Their products work well and while they may not have been at the leading edge of the fashion curve, the gear did its job and did it well. So when I opened up the box, I was a bit surprised as this was clearly the most aggressive styling I have ever seen in one of their coats. Fascinated by this apparent change in direction, I set off to the tracks to annoy innocent skiers with my seemingly endless and odd stream of coat questions.
The results of this highly unofficial but yet very unscientific trail/airport/coffee-shop survey? This coat slays it with the “in” crowd. It is very shiny and the color was definitely different but I have to admit, I really like it. To be clear, would I have picked this out for myself if I was alone at my favorite local outdoor retailer? Probably not, at least not right away, but would I go buy one now? Yes.
Mountain Hardwear has stuck to their roots and produced a fantastic jacket that is very warm for its size, portable and a great piece for both athletic and casual use. I guess what sealed the deal for me was when a group of female skiers said, “Oh yeah, that look is so hot right now,” and since I consider myself the Steamboat version of Hansel, this coat now seems like a must-have.
Strengths: Very light, best warmth/weight ratio for all of the men’s coats, fastest down the hill in penguin slides, “so hot right now”
Weaknesses: Style may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Outer layer feels like it could be prone to tears, but having said that, despite repeated penguin slides, none of us had any issues with rips, tears or snags. Plus, is it worth it to have a coat that might rip a bit easier but looks awesome? I hope you know the answer to that question by now. If not, please revisit Rule #1.
Buy it if: Style IS your jam, you don’t like being cold, you understand and appreciate >50% of these references.
Bjorn Daehlie
Bjorn Daehlie Easy Jacket
Another iconic nordic brand that we were delighted to review. This was another case in which we only received a men’s coat, the Easy Jacket, so please factor in accordingly the fact that we were only reviewing a men’s jacket. This jacket also took a page out of the independent-thinker handbook, as this was another garment that didn’t necessarily fit the criteria outlined, but we loved it nonetheless.
This is not really a “wear-around-town jacket,” but having said that, it was great at its core mission: nordic skiing. This particular coat was the most breathable and flexible of the entire group, so it was by far the best jacket in which to nordic ski. Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Self, I thought the goal of this review was to find the best jacket to wear TO ski, not to ski IN,” and you’d be correct, but, we did like this coat a lot for nordic skiing.
It is very non-constrictive and perfect for athletes who chill easily or for us normal people on VERY cold days. Would I buy it? Yes, but probably not for around town. It’s a great jacket to have in the quiver for cold skis and still be able to wear in the grocery store without being asked to leave. This of course, begs the question that if you need to wear this jacket skiing, aren’t you therefore predisposed to being cold and would thusly want an even warmer jacket to wear off the tracks? Wow, look at you with the good questions… Fair point though, so if this is all ringing very true to you, you had better plan on buying this and one of the “ultimate puffies” that will be reviewed next month and you’ll be good to go.
Strengths: Very light, flexible and perfectly suited for nordic skiing
Weaknesses: Least warm of all of the jackets, you’ll be “that guy” in the grocery store still rocking his nordic stuff. Speaking of which, didn’t we clearly tell you earlier in this article to stop doing that?
Buy it if: You want a coat you can ski in, you have a Nordic World Cup fantasy team, the first thing you read every morning is Noah Hoffman’s blog and you’re going to ignore me and wear your tights around town for three hours after your ski anyway. This is your look. Own it.
Hopefully this information will help you make an even more informed decision on your next trip to the gear store, which if you are like me, is a regular occurrence — especially this time of year. Don’t forget either, you’ve probably been out training a lot this year (yes, yes, not as much as you’d like, you’ve been SO busy at work, this time of year is crazy, etc.) but still, think about all of those around you that support you in your pursuit of this ridiculous hobby.
Let’s just say that even if you are all set gear-wise (which is doubtful, but for the purposes of the last part of this discussion we’ll accept this premise), maybe you should take all of this newfound brain knowledge and use it for good instead of evil and hook up that someone special with one of the best presents you could ever hope to find under the tree, Menorah, or Festivus pole — a kick-ass “lifestyle” puffy.
Everyone loves a good puffy and remember, there is nothing more important than looking good.
The RollerskiShop’s T6004 Pursuit Skate Rollerski ($159.99)
FasterSkier recently had the opportunity to test a pair of pursuit rollerskis which are sold exclusively online the RollerskiShop.com. Read the review by FasterSkier staff below.
Pursuit T6004 Skate Rollerski Summary ($159.99): Great all-around rollerskis for skiers of all abilities. While it may not have the flex of a Marwe, it provides surprisingly smooth experience despite it’s alloy composition. Did we also mention that its sold at a fraction of a leading rollerski’s cost?
Pursuit Skate Rollerski Brake Summary – sold separately ($39.99): While this brake is a step in the right direction, it is most useful when rollerskiers have no need to slow down. Due to it’s ability to send a skier’s upper-body weight forward, this brake is better for the more experienced rollerskier who is better in-tune with their movements on rollerskis.
Review: The Pursuit T6004 has a very simple yet appealing aesthetic with an alloy aluminum structure. The addition of holes drilled in the sides gives the skis a bare-bones industrial look. According to the RollerskiShop this further cuts costs, and scratches will be less noticeable.
In terms of performance, the Pursuit T6004 gets the job done. It provides a surprisingly smooth ride for its alloy base, even on fairly rough roads. In addition, the T6004 allows you to completely shift your weight between each ski while feeling stable.
The Rollerksi shop gives customers several options of wheel speed and size, depending on skill level and training needs. Check them out here to find the best fit for you.
The Pursuit T6004 is a great all-around rollerski. While those on the elite level will likely opt for a more expensive option, this rollerski offers quality at a low price which makes it an appealing option for anyone ranging from a junior to master skier.
The RollerskiShop introduced a braking system for their Pursuit rollerskis, which FasterSkier had the opportunity to test as well. Before testing the braking system I was skeptical of their use, as most brakes that I have experienced are ineffective and more hassle than they are worth.
The Pursuit Skate Rollerski Brake ($39.99)
The Pursuit Skate Roller Ski Brake, is unlike other brakes in the fact that it connects a rounded metal piece to a stretchable cord that is tied to a waistband. Confused? I was too. However, once I was able to figure out the mechanics of the brake, the functionality finally made sense.
To engage the brake, one must slide their foot with the rollerski brake forward and slowly pull up on the cord that connects the brake and the waist band. There’s a handle on the cord to facilitate this process. By pulling the cord, the rounded metal piece is placed into contact with the wheel, thus causing friction and theoretically slowing the skier.
For more detailed instructions for installing and engaging the brake, read a description at RollerskiShop.com
However, slowing down with the Pursuit Skate Roller Ski Brake is sometimes too effective. There were multiple times when I was skiing down a hill where I would lightly pull the brake and feel as if I were about to fly face first into the pavement. To remedy this I decided to start braking throughout the entire hill instead of the near the middle or bottom. While the “jerking effect” was lessened I still felt as if my upper-body wanted to lurch forward.
In addition, for someone who is as tall as I am (6 feet – an average to slightly above-average height for most men in nordic skiing) the cord attached to the waistband was almost too short. Even with adequate slack in the cord I could feel a slight pull that would bring the rollerski to hit my heel every so often. While this might not be a problem for short rollerskis, it could become an annoyance after a two hour plus workout.
Overall, the Pursuit Skate Roller Ski Brake is a step in the right direction for the development of brakes. It is more effective than most other brakes I have experienced in the past and it can slow you down with ease on small hills. That being said, the times when the brake was most effective it was on a very gradual downhill, where one wouldn’t need to brake in the first place. As with all rollerski brakes, the Pursuit Skate Roller Ski Brake is ineffective and dangerous on longer, steep hills and abrupt stops. While the RollerskiShop advises that the brake is not for such circumstances, the instinct to brake in such situations might be too strong for some to resist.
For this reason I would recommend this brake for skiers who are experienced rollerskiers. However, most experienced rollerskiers probably feel as if they do not need a brake, thus making the market for this product a small one.
Pursuit T6004 Skate Rollerski:
Price: $159.99
Wheel diameter: 100 or 105 mm Wheel width: 24 mm Bearings: 608 2-RS Wheelbase: 600 mm Weight: 1.48 kg per pair with 100 mm wheels & 1.56 kg per pair with 105 mm wheels Color: Alloy
The RollerskShop advises against trying to put bindings on yourself. Due to the nature of the alloy base, drilling and attaching bindings can be a hassle. Save your self the trouble and have the RollerskiShop do it for $10.00.
Add fenders ($18.00 for a set of four) so you can limit any spray in wet conditions.
Pursuit Skate Rollerski Brake
Price: $39.99
Pursuit rollerskis are sold exclusively by the RollerskiShop, a business started in 2004 with a mission of providing low-cost rollerskis. The RollerskiShop introduced their own brand, Pursuit, in 2005. The RollerskiShop keeps costs down by using shafts extruded in the US and machined near the distribution center in Minnesota. Additionally, there is no physical store. Sales are online only. You can visit the Rollerskishop at www.rollerskishop.com.
Welcome to FasterSkier’s Holiday Gift Guide! The holidays are here and it’s time to go hunting for the perfect gifts for your favorite cross-country skiers. Whether it’s a fresh pair of socks or a new wax bench we have recommendations for the best gear out there. Take a look and see for yourself. You’ll walk away with some great ideas to make this ski season one to remember.
We’ve broken up our gift guide into five budgetary segments: Under $20, $20-$50, $50-$100, $100-$200 and $200-and-over. Happy shopping!
Swix Extra Blue (10.00) – Kick wax makes a good stocking stuffer. Extra blue wax makes a great one. Make sure you’re ready for your next bluebird ski day and get as many tubes as possible. Available at New Moon, WebSkis.com, Gear West, Boulder Nordic Sport, and basically anywhere else that sells wax.
Buff (18.95) – Buy a buff to keep you or a loved one warm this winter. The buff can be used in many ways from a balaclava to a do rag to a face-mask to a hair tie and a million other things. Available at Akers.
Swix Base cleaner (15.00) – Klister can be a pain in the neck. Make your cleanup faster, easier, and less messy with the Swix Base Cleaner. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport and Gear West.
Camelback Water Bottle (8.95) – If you are anything like me, you’re constantly losing water bottles. Replace yours this year with a Camelback water bottle that has your favorite ski shop logo on it. For example take Skinny Skis.
Kind Bars (19.99) – These tasty bars are perfect for a long ski or post workout recovery snack. They’re healthy, fun, and even gluten free! Available at Vitamin Shoppe.
Ski ties (7.95) – You can never have enough ski ties. Period. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
Groove Pin (4.95) – Another great stocking stuffer. Make sure your groves aren’t slowing you down with a groove pin from Gear West.
Smartwool Socks (17.99) – Socks can be one of the most important clothing choices you will make this year. Ensure that you have the best this winter with Smartwool PhD Nordic Light Socks. They will keep your feet warm, dry, and feeling good. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
Sauce Swift Headband (18.00) – A Nordic skier can never have too much headwear. Add to your collection this year with a Sauce Swift Headband, and keep your ears warm in style. These handcrafted headbands were made with Nordic skiers in mind by former racer Shayla Swanson, and they won’t disappoint. Available at Sauce Headwear.
Make sure your hands aren’t sticky after waxing your skis this winter. Available at Gear West and Boulder Nordic Sport.
BeFAST USA 2014 Gear ($19.95 – $28.95) – Support the NNF this holiday season with one of the BeFAST USA hats or headbands. Get them at Befastsportsgear.com.
Welcome to FasterSkier’s Holiday Gift Guide! The holidays are here and it’s time to go hunting for the perfect gifts for your favorite cross-country skiers. Whether it’s a fresh pair of socks or a new wax bench we have recommendations for the best gear out there. Take a look and see for yourself. You’ll walk away with some great ideas to make this ski season one to remember.
We’ve broken up our gift guide into five budgetary segments: Under $20, $20-$50, $50-$100, $100-$200 and $200-and-over. Happy shopping!
Fischer Pole Tube (49.95) – keep your poles in one piece when you travel this ski season with the Fischer Pole tube. Available at High Peaks Cyclery.
Yoko Windstopper Arctic Mitts (49.95) – Keep your hands warm from the cold with Yoko’s Arctic Mitts. Your fingers will thank you. Available at Akers.
Drink Belt (36.00)– Make sure that you’re getting enough water on the trails with a drink belt from Fischer, Oneway, Holmenkol, or Swix.
Darn Tough Vermont Nordic Cushion Sock (22.95) – Are you tough? If you’re a cross-country skier you probably are. But you’ll need durable socks to match your hardiness. Look no further, and get yourself a pair of Darn Tough Vermont Socks. Available at Gear West.
Swix Old Skool Country Hat (30.00) – Show off your American or Canadian pride during the Olympics this year with this classic hat from Swix. Available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
Waxing apron (29.95) – Wax in style this year and wear a waxing apron. You’ll look just as professional as you feel. Available in different brands such as Swix and Holmenkol.
Toko Champion Windstopper Glove (49.00) – The perfect race day glove, the Toko champion windstoppers are durable, lightweight and have great grip. Availiable at New Moon.
Swix Super Riller (45.00) – add some structure to your skis to get reach the next level of racing. The Super Riller is a quick and easy tool for putting linear structure in the base of your ski. Availiable at the Cross-Country Ski shop.
Craft ski boxer ($40) – A warm base layer that gives support and comfort on cold and windy days. An extra layer of wind stopping fabric in the men’s boxer also adds a necessary amount of protection during a cold race. Available in both men’s and women’s sizes from Boulder Nordic Sport, Gear West, and Skinny Skis.
Swix Rectangular Medium Bronze Brush (30.00) – If you need a a versatile, all-around brush this is your best bet. It is brush that works well with most waxes, and works well on speeding up cold, herd waxes. An item for everyones wax kit, it is available at Boulder Nordic Sport.
![FasterSkier's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide: 12 Days of FBD Christmas](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/HGG.jpg")
![Deadman’s Reach Coffee, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/91s9xGiSfL._SY679_.jpg")
![caffeine formula](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/caffeine-formula.png")
![Craft Wool Comfort Zip, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-20-at-11.18.14-AM.png")
![Patagonia Men's Reversible Bivy Down Vest, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/27587_CDRR.jpg")
![Gunslinger, riverboat captain, and '80s ski bums. All wearing vests.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-1-2.jpeg")
![paddlewheel steamboat](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/paddlewheel-steamboat.jpeg")
![L.L. Bean's Women's Baxter State Parka, FBD bonus pick for $100-$150](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-20-at-11.39.08-AM.png")
![L.L. Bean Men’s Baxter State Parka](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-01-26-at-10.02.30-PM-563x740.png")
![Oakley Wind Jacket 2.0 Prizm Snow Goggle (top) and Oakley Turbine (bottom) combo, FBD pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-3.jpeg")
![Jay Z OG](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Jay-Z-OG.jpeg")
![Lemong Oakleys](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Lemong-Oakleys.jpeg")
![Tyler Hamilton (top) in Prada and Ryder Hesjedal (bottom) in POC sunglasses](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-2-1.jpeg")
![De Niro Vegas](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/De-Niro-Vegas.jpeg")
![Oakley, the official thermonuclear ocular protection of these goons)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/SSWSCXC-Goon-Squad.jpg")
![Exel X-Curve poles, FBD bonus pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-20-at-7.19.18-PM.png")
![I KNEW I should have bought those new poles. How has my life gone so wrong?](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/alone-on-train-platform.jpeg")
![L.L. Bean's Pathfinder Lighted Beanie, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-19-at-4.50.33-PM.png")
![Salomon Men's Trail Runner Short Sleeve Tee, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-19-at-5.02.12-PM.png")
![Filson Alaskan Guide Shirt, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/12006-main-640_1.jpg")
![L.L. Bean Ultralight 850 Hooded Down Sweater, FBD bonus pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-19-at-5.15.23-PM.png")
![Instead of blankets, think L.L. Bean jacket. Instead of the living room of your parents' house, think Munich International airport. Instead of ironing boards, think Bryan and Taylor Fletcher.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/blanket-fort-2.jpeg")
![Arc’teryx Ceres SV Parka, FBD pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Ceres-SV-Parka-Black.png")
![Dermatone Green Tea Lip Balm, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/41r6XYROoIL.jpg")
![Dogs and chapstick](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-1-1.jpeg")
![West Yellowstone weather](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/weather.jpg")
![Toko Actic Split Mitt, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/toko.jpg")
![Salomon Drifter Mid Hoody, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/hoody.jpg")
![Pursuit Fork Flex Roller Skis (top) and IDT Classic Elite Rollerskis, FBD pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-2.jpeg")
![One of my Princeton rowing teammates used to say, 'Don't be a rhino' to people who were being stubborn or uncooperative, so this image is therefore appropriate at many levels.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/panties-in-a-wad.jpeg")
![SkiGo Kick Wax Scraper, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/975.jpg")
![Toko Functional Sportswear Care, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Screen-Shot-2016-12-15-at-8.43.53-AM.jpg")
![Thermos Stainless Steel Commuter Bottle (16 oz), FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/31vQGqPA1fL.jpg")
![Smullin's mug](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/50225033725__70CF83BA-D0BF-40B9-B608-CFEF15354E66.jpg")
![FBD version, not only much cleaner, but also much cooler, for as we all know, anything that Josh can do, I can do better.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/IMG_7074.jpg")
![Fischer Pole Tube Economy, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/1174.jpg.png")
![Toko Coaches Pack, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/toko-coaches-pack.jpg")
![Ercolina Poling Machine, FBD pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/587.jpg")
![World-class skiers using the mountable Ercolina Poling Machine, including French biathlete Martin Fourcade (l) and Austrian cross-country skier Katerina Smutna (top right). (Photos: Boulder Nordic Sport)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown-1.jpeg")
![Planet Bike 3034-1 Blinky Superflash .5 Watt LED with 2 Red LED Tail Lights, an example of the dog/bike/run tail light FBD suggests for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/light.jpg")
![Ruffwear Slackline Leash, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/leash.jpg")
![Arnold back](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Arnold-back.jpeg")
![Pdiggy](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/pdiggy.jpeg")
![Whistle GPS Pet Tracker, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/whistle-gps-tracker.jpg"){kind=tracking}
![Dog tracking](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/dog-tracking-pic.jpg"){kind=tracking}
![Labs](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/labs.jpg")
![A real-deal, Lab-chewed remote](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/chewed-remote-2.jpg")
![Smartwool NTS Mid 250 Neck Gaiter, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/SW0SC953001-1-p.jpeg")
!["BK's Favorites" (as in Gear West owner Brian "BK" Knutson's) Kick Wax Pack, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/bk_touring_pack-600x400.png")
![Arc’teryx Women's Covert Hoody (pictured in cherry chocolate), FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Covert-Hoody-W-Cherry-Chocolate.png")
![Patagonia Men's Insulated Fjord Flannel Jacket, FBD bonus pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/27640_NVYB.jpg")
![Alpina ESK 2.0 summer rollerski boots, FBD pick for over $250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/50951.jpg")
![Concorde cockpit (Photo: Wikimedia Commons)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Concorde_cockpit.jpg")
![Whoosh! Screen Shine, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/whoosh.jpg")
![Apple iPod Shuffle, FBD pick for $30-$100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/ipod-shuffle-product-initial-2015.jpeg")
![Star 110V Digital Iron, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/40002-ECC-600x600.png")
![Several high-level skiers show off their Suunto Ambit heart rate monitors, including U.S. Nordic Combined's Adam Loomis (l), (clockwise, from upper left) Italian nordic combined skier Samuel Costa, Steamboat Springs Winter Sports club alumn and current CU skier Lucy Newman, Swiss nordic combined skier Tim Hug, and 2014 Olympic silver medalist Akito Watabe of Japan, U.S. Ski Team member Noah Hoffman (second from r), U.S. Nordic Combined's Taylor Fletcher (his wrist, upper right), and U.S. Nordic Combined's Ben Loomis and Jasper Good (bottom l). (All photos: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Unknown.jpeg")
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![Holmenkol Syntec Race Nordic Fluoro Powders, FBD pick for $100-$250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/holmenkol_syntec_race_nordic_set_s.jpg")
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![deFUNKit Active Wash high-performance laundry detergent, FBD pick for under $30](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/ACTIVE-WASH-16OZ-copy-32nrvpl8nl5ag3imxwdo8w.png")
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![Rossignol R-Skins, FBD pick for $250+](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Rossignol-R-Skin.jpg")
![The International House of Pancakes.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/c2cbf7ce4d56370a11c4b44f86cd27ec.jpg")
![Point 6 Men's Lifestyle Crew Socks](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/1101.lifestyle.lt_.crew_.110.jpg")
![Smartwool women's NTS Mid 250 Crew: FBD base layer pick for $30-100](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/smartwool-baselayer.jpg")
![Craft's Active WS Crewneck & Active Extreme 2.0 Boxer combo: FBD pick for $100-250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/craft.jpg")
![Skhoop Mini Down Skirt ($139)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/skhoop-miniskirt.jpg")
![Patagonia Stretch Nano Storm Jacket: FBD pick for over $250](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Patagonia-Womens-Stretch-Nano-Storm-Jacket.jpg")
![Putting deFUNKit, a high-performance laundry detergent, to the test.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/FS.jpg")
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![#TBT shot to a young Dan Weiland sitting alone at his junior high lunch table, completely devoid of friends, as fellow reclusive loner Eric Pepper looks on from a distance. It was here in these moments of desperate loneliness that the personality traits necessary to be a nordic coach were forged.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/Vail-coaches-at-lunch.jpg")
![90's neon, knee-high compression socks? Check. Matchy-Matchy 90's neon shirt, short, backpack combo? Check. 90's neon man-purse fanny pack? Check. Prepare to deploy Outfit Of The Day.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/smullin.jpg")
![Ahh, the hotel room heater, circa 1960.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/heater.jpg")
![My beloved Salomon summer training "Please don't hit me" roller ski top and trusty Swix socks/shorts. (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/summer-outfit.jpg")
![Having a clean undercarriage goes a long way, regardless of your underwear status. (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/IMG_6914.jpg")
![Test fleet ready for action.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/IMG_6945.jpg")
![Sock soup.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/sock-soup.jpg")
![This is the deodorant you use when you think we didn't land a man on the moon. (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/12/IMG_6952.jpg")
![2016 FasterSkier Classic Rollerski Review](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/ROLLERSKI.jpg")
![The big winner: the IDT Classic Elite. Time to book that trip to Norway.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/IDT-classic-elite.jpg")
![2016 classic rollerski test matrix](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/matrix-2-e1477535157219.png")
![The Marwe Classic 700 XC was a tester favorite.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/Marwe-classic-700.jpg")
![Swix Classic Roadline C2](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/swix-roadline.jpg")
![Everyone's favorite Swenor, the Fibreglass, a good all-around ski](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/swenor-fibreglass.jpg")
![The Swenor Carbonfibres in their safest configuration: pointed straight with minimal load](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/IMG_6665.jpg")
![Swenor Finstep](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/Swenor-Finstep.jpg")
![Elpex Evolution](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/Evolution-Elpex.jpg")
![A five-way tie for third place in the 2016 classic rollerski review: (from left to right): Fischer Carbonlite, OneWay Classic 5, OneWay Classic 13, Swenor Finstep, and Swenor Carbonfibre](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/5-way-tie-.jpg")
![The Elpex Evolution rollerski delaminating after just a few months of use.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/elpex.jpg")
![Former APU rockstar, current Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club coach and ski tester supreme Greta Anderson showing how we run our complaint department.](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/10/IMG_6666.jpg")
![Marwe skate rollerskis (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/IMG_0396.jpg")
![IDT skate rollerski (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/IDT.jpg")
![Pursuit skate rollerskis (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/pursuit-rollerskis.jpg")
![An Erector Set (metal toy construction set)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/Erector-set.jpg")
![A science fair](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/science_fair.jpg")
![Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club coach Josh Smullin in a pumpkin suit. (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/Smullin-pumpkin-suit-2.jpeg")
![Pursuit skate rollerskis (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/pursuit-closeup.jpg")
![Rundle Sport FLEX skate rollerskis (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/Rundle-Sport-FLEX.jpg")
![A "chip 'n' seal" road in the U.S. (Photo: Wikipedia)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/Chipnseal.jpg")
![Chippendales](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/Chippendales.jpg")
![GlobuloNero skate rollerskis (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/GlobuloNero.jpg")
![Missing GlobuloNero part (Photo: FBD)](http://fasterskier.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2016/09/IMG_6528.jpg")
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