From the FasterSkier archive — posts syndicated from athletes’ and coaches’ own blogs between 2004 and 2012, kept online as published. Current coverage is at fasterskier.com.

Tag: eating disorders in sport

  • Hannah Halvorsen Studies Eating Disorders in Cross-Country Skiing from the Coaches’ Perspective

    Hannah Halvorsen Studies Eating Disorders in Cross-Country Skiing from the Coaches’ Perspective

    Hannah Halvorsen creates a video on eating disorders in cross-country skiing from a survey of coaches of all levels. (Courtesy photo)

    At 24-years-old, Hannah Halvorsen recently announced that she is ending the pro-skier chapter of her life, but it’s not the only transition she has on deck. This past weekend, Halvorsen also graduated from Alaska Pacific University (APU) with degrees in cognitive psychology and business administration. As a senior capstone project, focused on the psychology side of her studies, Halvorsen chose to research a topic she has been invested in throughout her time as a student-athlete: eating disorders in sport. 

    Given the size and scope of the topic, she began to explore ways to narrow the lens. She chose to focus on cross-country skiing to leverage her extensive experience as an athlete, but was still initially unsure of where to begin. 

    “I didn’t want to look at just, ‘how do we get them to go away?’ because I just don’t think that is feasible with the resources and education we have right now,” Halvorsen explained in a call.

    Ultimately, she chose to consider the topic from a perspective she had not encountered previously: that of the coach.

    “Not every nordic athlete has access to a dietician or to a counselor, depending on their insurance, depending on their family culture, their family support… But the majority of athletes have a coach and that’s a frequent person that they’re interfacing with. So I thought, ‘This is a really unique link that a lot of people have. How do we utilize that?’”

    Hannah Halvorsen races through the heats in Dresden during a December 2021 World Cup skate sprint. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    Rather than trying to identify a “solution” to a nuanced and multifaceted mental health condition, Halvorsen looked to collect a “broad perspective on what coaches think, what coaches feel, [and] what coaches see… I wondered what it looks like for them because they see athletes come and go all the time, and they see all different types of athletes.” Utilizing connections in the sport both internationally and domestically, she contacted coaches from the junior level through the World Cup.

    Looking to avoid factual answers that may just be regurgitated onto a survey from a basic Google search, Halvorsen sent coaches a list of four prompts, and asked them to submit their response as a video. “I wanted to see their mannerisms and their body language and the inflection in their voice when they were responding. Essentially, where they were at with [the topic].”

    Specifically, the questions were as follows:

    1. How do you see issues with eating disorders manifest in athletes who may or may not be struggling? What types of behaviors do you see that you associate with this problem? 
    2. What are some of the pressures or contributing factors that you either notice or athletes tell you are the reasons that an athlete starts down the path of an eating disorder?
    3. What do you see as the challenges with reducing the amount of eating disorders in sport? What types of obstacles make it hard for an athlete with an eating disorder to recover?
    4. Do you see a difference with eating disorders between male and female skiers? Such as prevalence, the root cause, how it manifests, or anything else.

    Setting her expectations low on what she would receive in return, Halvorsen was amazed as videos rolled in, and suddenly found herself with over three hours of thoughtful and in-depth responses. Some of the participants included: US National Team coaches Matt Whitcomb, Kate Barton, and Jason Cork; the Italian and Finish National Team coaches and Norwegian Women’s Team coach; current and former NCAA coaches like Cami Thompson Graves (Dartmouth), Maria Stuber (College of St. Scholastica), Marine Dusser (Univ. of AK Anchorage); elite post-graduate coaches Erik Flora (APU) and Andy Newell (BSF Pro); and junior level coaches Anna Schultz (Craftsbury), Molly Susla (Crested Butte), and Kris Hanson (Stillwater, MN).  

    The challenge then became condensing this footage into a concise and effective 15-minute montage, fit to a “script” that would connect the perspectives without redundancy or losing the attention of viewers. “I wanted to have this artistic effect of being [shorter] sound bites, so people would stay engaged.”

    The final project: Hannah Halvorsen’s senior project video.

    As she reflected on what she heard from coaches, Halvorsen identified some of the important themes that resonated with her and aligned with what she had learned through her studies on the subject.

    “There were some very noticeable overlaps. A lot of [coaches] said, ‘I’m not a medical professional, I’m not qualified in eating disorder rehab or therapy or treatment. I am not the person for that. It’s not appropriate for me, it’s not something I have the skills to do, and it’s unethical for me to be doing it.’ And it was honestly really nice to hear that at all different levels, coaches do know that this isn’t their job or role…

    “I also noticed that a lot of them talked about how eating disorders weren’t just about sports performance, or wanting to perform in sport. A lot of the coaches pointed out how it often came at a time where the athlete has a lot of other stress in their life, and this is just something that they have found control over, which is also something that I’ve researched and learned about in preparing for this video.”

    Halvorsen pointed out that this is a key distinction. While negative body image and a preoccupation with one’s physical appearance can be symptoms of eating disorders, the root cause is typically much deeper. In the endurance sport realm, an unhealthy need for control can run parallel to the type-A, perfectionistic mindset that may also contribute to athletic development and progress in sport.

    In her advocacy work in the eating disorder space, Jessie Diggins has often used the phrase “Genetics loads the gun, but the environment pulls the trigger.” Or, as Andy Newell put it in Halvorsen’s video, eating disorders are “stressful habits that manifest themselves as eating habits.”

    Hannah Halvorsen spends time at home in Truckee, CA with three of her five siblings. (Photo: Instagram @hannah.g.halvorsen)

    “Another big takeaway that I would describe more as a tangible lesson from this,” Halvorsen continued. “And the coaches kind of led to it – is that the right role for a coach is to be in touch with athletes and be aware and there for them, so that if they do notice a change in behavior, they can be that link that helps the athlete get connected with the help that they need as soon as possible. They’re not the one to fix that problem, but they might be the first person who sees it. The first person who checks in with [the athlete] and says, ‘Hey, you should see someone about this.’ That, I think, is where I stand on the issue right now.”   

    Reflecting on her experience as a World Cup athlete and the responses of international coaches she received, Halvorsen indicated that she did not notice any significant differences in trends compared to the US, though this was an aspect she was looking to investigate. 

    “‘Does it vary culturally in how we see it, how it manifests, how we talk about it?’ Overall, I would say, the problems seem to come from the same issues. They seem to be similar in the way that athletes want to hide it. It’s kind of taboo to talk about it. It’s largely more taboo to talk about an eating disorder if you’re a male athlete. Those trends seem to hold very similar.”

    While the pervasiveness of eating disorders and disordered eating across genders in sport is a challenging project to take on, Halvorsen indicated that she left feeling positive about the direction progress is heading.   

    “Something that surprised me is that I didn’t give coaches enough credit for how in tune they are and how much they care and their capacity to communicate about this. There’s so much talk about how eating disorders are uncomfortable, they’re very secretive, no one wants to talk about them. And that was why I thought, ‘I’m gonna have to send this to 200 coaches because I’m going to maybe get five who are willing to talk.’ And that wasn’t the case at all. They talked in depth about it and I think that surprised me, and made me feel really optimistic, too, because coaches are willing to have this conversation and to be very authentic and real about it. And I left feeling a little bit more optimistic that people can get in touch with the help that they need, if they’re ready or wanting that help.”  

    Another aspect that Halvorsen pointed out was the development that has happened surrounding eating disorder research over the last decade. She noted a shift away from pigeon-holing the disease as a women’s issue – for example, the change from Female Athlete Triad to Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S) – and stated that there are notable differences in studies that were conducted within the last two years, in comparison to those published five or ten years ago.

    “It needs to be acknowledged that there has been progress. There’s a lot more conversation about it. There’s a lot more training, there’s a lot more education and understanding of it. That needs to continually be part [of the solution].

    “We need people, particularly coaches and older teammates and people in the nordic community, to identify as lifelong learners… because it’s gonna keep changing and we’re gonna get better and better at knowing how to support athletes and how to make the environment better. And so I think committing to having an open mind and staying that way is really important.”

    Hannah Halvorsen congratulates Sweden’s Moa Lundgren at the finish of a skate sprint heat in Dresden, Germany in Dec. 2021. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    While it was not a focus of the questions posed to coaches, Halvorsen discussed her perspective from her experiences and research on what still needs to change in cross country skiing. 

    “I think that there is a subconscious cultural emphasis put on being lightweight, and that was being affirmed and validated and encouraged in subtle ways. Even if we’re saying the right things, athletes and kids and everyone is still aware of what is validated and when is affirmed and when is celebrated.”

    She discussed the overt messages a coach could give to athletes, such as an instruction to lose weight for performance or complementing a leaner aesthetic, however, she felt that more covert messaging is pervasive and perhaps more harmful. In particular, she identified aspects of traditional ski training that may skew focus and praise toward athletes with smaller body-types.

    “Every time I went to a summer training camp growing up, there was an uphill run test that, I think, held a lot of weight.”

    Halvorsen called the test “iconic” and expressed how the test felt like a measuring stick, both for one’s merit as a skier and as a basis for a social hierarchy among the athletes attending the camp. “There’s just a lot of, ‘That’s the cool athlete who can run uphill.’ And it holds for men and women.”

    Simultaneously, there are the challenges of a sport whose athletes race in lycra body suits throughout the winter, put in the most training hours during the heat of the summer.

    “That means a lot of shirtless time, a lot of shirtless social media, and a lot of emphasis put on doing things uphill. Uphill rollerski time trials, bounding intervals, uphill running time trials, mountain running races. I think all of that plays [into developing good fitness for ski racing], and I’m not saying ‘let’s get rid of it all, don’t do it.’ It just gets validated in a way that a doublepole time trial does not… There’s never quite as much emphasis being put on someone who’s really good on their skis, or really powerful, or really tactically gifted.”

    This leaves coaches in a catch-22; should they abandon a measuring stick that has served programs at all levels, both in the US and internationally, or are there alternatives?

    “[The uphill run test] is a good marker of fitness, and if there was a way that you only compared to yourself and didn’t use weight loss as a way of improving your times, you would be able to track your fitness. But there’s just no comparison. You could be a better skier than someone and if they’re a lot smaller than you, they probably are going to beat you in that. And no matter what your age is, it’s hard to not see that.”

    Denying the inextricable connection between size and uphill performance is not the answer in Halvorsen’s mind, as athletes will “see right through it.” Rather, she believes that an intentional shift in culture toward placing equal value on the myriad of athletic qualities that are less correlated with body size. 

    “How do you shift the weight to ‘it can still be valued, it should just be valued the right amount’? Like, ‘It’s one marker that we use, but we also want to see you improving on the doublepole tests. And if you lose a bunch of weight, you’re not going to. We also want to see you improving in speeds, and if you lose weight, you’re not going to improve in speeds.’ I think just giving it a little more balance is the only realistic, well-rounded solution that I see.” 

    Hannah Halvorsen pushes through the freestyle sprint qualifier in Ulricehamn, Sweden in Feb. 2021. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    Halvorsen described herself as “a little bit blunt” and “pessimistic” as she continued to discuss systemic changes she’d like to see in the future, namely, whether athletes at U16 and U18 training camps should be allowed to go shirtless. 

    “The kids who go to [U16 and U18] camp are the kids who are really cool and fast on their local teams. So every kid who’s on the local team is looking up to them, and looking at the pictures that they post, and I think that they help set the trend for their local teams. They bring home that culture.” 

    She proposed that instead organizers ensure that tee shirts and tanks that athletes receive at those camps be made of light weight, breathable material that remains comfortable even when training in heat and humidity. 

    These ideas are rooted in her own experiences as a junior. Attending her first U18 camp was Halvorsen’s first exposure to the unhealthy culture permeating sport, which interrupted the otherwise healthy and unencumbered relationship she had with food and her body, developed through her family culture. Diggins has also acknowledged the disordered eating she witnessed at junior camps as a triggering example she later followed once her eating disorder took hold.

    For Halvorsen, this led to a year of fixation on shrinking her body, with an aftermath of self-image and body dissatisfaction highs and lows that have persisted to the present.

    “People were talking about what they eat and their weight, and I put it all together and kind of became obsessed with it… I just spent all my energy and time obsessing over what I could eat and when, that I couldn’t see anything else. Making sure to time it so that people would see me eating so that they would hopefully not know that I was doing this. It made me so miserable. It wasn’t sustainable.”

    Hannah Halvorsen and her brother Bjorn enjoy the Alaska backcountry after finishing the 2022 race season. (Courtesy photo)

    While plenty of change and education remains necessary to improve the climate surrounding athlete health, eating disorders, and RED-S, Halvorsen expressed optimism in the trends across sport culture and the outlook for future generations of athletes.

    “It’s such a difficult issue and I don’t know that it’s ever going to totally go away… We’re at a point right now where it’s becoming common knowledge this is an issue and a lot of people are open to having that conversation and learning about it and it’s not as secretive. And that’s huge, because now we have enough people on board that we can start to think, ‘So what are we gonna do about it? I don’t think that we only know. I think we’re flailing a little bit. I think we’re looking, we’re asking the right people, we are trying to figure it out, and we care and we want to make this better. But I don’t think that we’ve figured out exactly what to do and put that into action yet… 

    “But I feel optimistic because I think I see a lot of energy being put into, ‘We can’t just ignore this. This issue is huge. And we’re willing to spend the money and the time and energy even if it makes us uncomfortable to figure out what what that is that we need to be doing.’”

    Halvorsen is soon headed back to her home state of California for an internship in Berkeley that she described as “more on the business side” of her academic experience. However, she remains passionate about advocating for better education, support, and resources for coaches and athletes, and hopes to return to this type of work in the future. 

    “I just think there’s something so central about it, because it’s your body. It’s you. It’s so important. And I think everyone deserves the right to feel good in who they are. I don’t really care if people are good, medium, or slow at skiing, I just want them to feel good in their bodies. Skiing should be a way to feel good, not something that makes you feel bad about your body.”

  • Nordic Nation: Jessie Diggins — Eating Disorder Awareness, Media, and Why What to Say Matters

    Nordic Nation: Jessie Diggins — Eating Disorder Awareness, Media, and Why What to Say Matters

    It’s likely that today’s guest needs no introduction. Over the last decade, she has steadily worked to become the most decorated American cross country skier in history. As she gained more recognition beyond the niche of cross country skiing, she began to use her platform to become an advocate for causes she felt passionately about, opening up about her own experience struggling with an eating disorder and working hard at recovery through the Emily Program, and also becoming an athlete ambassador for Protect Our Winters (POW) to advocate for policy changes to combat climate change.  

    Jessie Diggins takes Olympic bronze in the individual freestyle sprint in Zhangjiakou. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    Heading into the Olympics in February, Jessie Diggins received more media attention than ever before, landing on the cover of Sports Illustrated and having her profile featured on major news outlets like the New York Times. There was an entire category for her career highlights on the Olympic cross country ski tab on NBC’s Peacock streaming platform. 

    From all of the coverage focused on Diggins surrounding the Games, one comment in particular received attention and push back from the athlete community. The line in a February 8th story in the NY Times suggested that Diggins looked “like a sprite in her racing suit,” comparing her body to her competitors’ who had “massive shoulders and thighs.” It was seen as inaccurate, inappropriate, and potentially harmful to those reading it. 

    To discuss the topic of body comments in sports journalism and why they might be harmful in the broader scope of athlete mental health, the Nordic Nation podcast recently hosted a discussion among the panel of Rosie Brennan, Corrine Malcolm, Brian Metzler, and Nat Herz, who span the breadth of athlete and media representative. Following the conversation, FasterSkier received feedback that the topic had already been given enough attention, and it remained clear that there was not unanimous understanding of why commenting on athletes’ bodies was deemed problematic. 

    Seeking to add clarity to this side of the story, along with her own perspective as someone who has experienced an eating disorder and since become an advocate for awareness and support in that realm, Diggins reached out to FasterSkier asking to add her voice to the conversation.

    To be clear, neither Diggins nor FasterSkier aims to “cancel” NY Times author Matthew Futterman, nor to attack the NY Times for running the comment. The purpose of this discussion was to consider how a comment on an athlete’s body might be triggering to a reader who is primed to fall into the eating disorder trap, and how writers, parents, coaches, and teachers can be mindful of the impact and importance of what they say. 

    Jessie Diggins races through the heats during the Olympic freestyle sprint in Zhangjiakou, China. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    Diggins also reflects on the 2021/2022 race season and what was an historic string of Olympic appearances. She discusses the success of the US Ski Team as a whole, in particular, the younger generation of athletes like Novie McCabe, Sophia Laukli, Ben Ogden, JC Schoonmaker, and Gus Schumacher, who have transitioned onto the World Cup over the last two seasons and earned spots on the 2022 Olympic Team.  

    Thanks for listening. 

    Additional Resources and Related Reading & Listening:

    WithAll Foundation and the What to Say Campaign. As discussed in the episode, Diggins and Gus Schumacher participated in a live discussion with this organization on March 31st titled “What America’s Top Athletes Know About Health & Performance”, which can be viewed here.

    The Emily Program: A leader in eating disorder treatment and outreach, and partner of Diggins’

    Nordic Nation Podcast: A Discussion on the Media’s Portrayal of Endurance Athletes with Rosie Brennan, Corrine Malcolm, Brian Metzler, and Nat Herz

    Nordic Nation Podcast: Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S) and the Climate in High Performance Skiing

    Brave Enough by Jessie Diggins (Reviewed on FS here, with more on her recovery and advocacy here.)

    FasterSkier also shared two OpEd pieces surrounding this topic, one from our own contributor Ben Theyerl and a second from reader Ivy Spiegel Ostrom, highlighting individual responses to the NY Times comment and underlying issues of body comments in the media, along with another separate OpEd by Rachel Bachman Perkins on the prevalence of eating disorders and disordered eating in sport. 

    Jessie Diggins races onto the podium in the 10 k free during the 2021/2022 World Cup Finals in Falun, Sweden. Norway’s Therese Johaug took the win, with Sweden’s Jonna Sundling in second. (Photo: NordicFocus)
  • Nordic Nation: A Discussion on the Media’s Portrayal of Endurance Athletes with Rosie Brennan, Corrine Malcolm, Brian Metzler, and Nat Herz

    Nordic Nation: A Discussion on the Media’s Portrayal of Endurance Athletes with Rosie Brennan, Corrine Malcolm, Brian Metzler, and Nat Herz

    Though the FasterSkier team would select other highlights from the 2022 Beijing Olympic Games, one of the most read articles we produced featured the responses of members of the ski community to a story published on February 8th by the New York Times, which included the following quote:

    “In a sport that has so many women with massive shoulders and thighs, Diggins looks like a sprite in her racing suit, and it’s not clear exactly where she gets her power. But the power is there, as she flies up hills, and comes off climactic turns with a burst. On the downhills, she tucks low and cuts through the air.”

    The women’s Olympic 1.5-kilometer freestyle podium: Sweden’s Jonna Sundling took gold ahead of teammate Maja Dahlqvist and American Jessie Diggins. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    Following the initial backlash sparked by the quote has prompted a number of insightful conversations – and questions – on how athletes, men and women, are portrayed by the media, whether there is room for descriptions or comparisons of athletes’ bodies to narrate a scene for a reader, and how the landscape of sports media has shifted with time.

    For this discussion, FasterSkier brought together a panel that spans both the athlete and media perspective on the issue.

    Perhaps needing the least introduction for this audience, the first voice you’ll hear belongs to Rosie Brennan. In addition to her role as one of the top American cross country skiers for more than a decade, Brennan is also an advocate for the organization Voice in Sport which provides mentorship for developing female athletes across all sports. And she was a member of the women’s Olympic skate sprint final in Zhangjiakou, taking fourth place just behind Diggins, the race which sparked the discussion in the first place.

    Putting together another highlight weekend in Davos, Rosie Brennan skis to 4th in the 10k individual start skate. (Photo: NordicFocus)

    The second belongs to professional trail and ultra runner Corrine Malcolm, whose first go at professional endurance sport was in biathlon, from which she retired in 2014 after experiencing overtraining syndrome, likely coupled by relative energy deficiency in sport (RED-S). Alongside her athletic career, Malcolm has become a coach for other endurance athletes, while also becoming an advocate for women in sport, and has also engaged with this topic from the media side of the coin while calling some of the top ultra running events worldwide, including the Western States Endurance Run in California and the Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc (UTMB) which begins and ends in Chamonix, France. She’s also the co-host of an engaging podcast called Trail Society, which dissects challenging topics in the trail and ultra-running space.

    Biathlete turned professional trail and ultra runner Corrine Malcolm discusses body comments in the media on the Nordic Nation podcast. (Courtesy photo)

    We’ve also got Brian Metzler, an award-winning veteran journalist and author in the endurance space who currently writes for a number of publications including Outside, Competitor, Women’s Running, Triathlete, and Trail Runner magazines. Writing with perspective from his own athletic career, Metzler is Colorado Running Hall of Fame inductee (2015) who adventures on foot, ski, and sometimes alongside a burro, throughout the high country of Colorado. 

    Long-time sports journalist and author Brian Metzler joins FasterSkier’s panel to discuss body comments in the media. (Photo: brianmetzler.com)

    Lastly, you’ll hear a cameo from our own Nat Herz, on lunch break from his “real job” as a full-time reporter for the Anchorage Daily News. Having written for FasterSkier from 2009 through 2015 before making a return this year as our 2022 Olympic Correspondent and co-host of the Devon Kershaw Show, Herz shares insights from his time covering cross country skiing paired with those from behind a very different desk.

    Some of the talking points discussed include: 

    • Initial responses to the NY Times story
    • A writer’s responsibility to be informed on the sport being covered, in addition to the physical and/or mental health challenges that may be pervasive in that setting
    • Differences between American and European media, and shifts in focus, norms, or trends in sports media
    • Differences, or lack thereof, of covering athletes of different genders

    Thanks for listening, and to this episode’s sponsor, the Craftsbury Outdoor Center. 

    Please note that the Craftsbury Green Racing Project Ski and Biathlon teams and U23 summer programs are currently accepting applications for the upcoming training year, which will close on April 10th. Click here for more information.

    Jessie Diggins (USA) and Rosie Brennan find their position in the early moments of the women’s freestyle sprint final. (Photo: NordicFocus)
  • Opinion: Get your commentary off our bodies

    Opinion: Get your commentary off our bodies

    The following was submitted by reader Ivy Spiegel Ostrom in response to the New York Times coverage of Jessie Diggins earning an Olympic bronze medal in the individual freestyle sprint. FasterSkier published a story expressing some of the early reactions to the NY Times piece here, along with an opinion piece by our contributor Ben Theyerl here. The viewpoints expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect that of FasterSkier’s staff or sponsors. We fully support open dialogue and encourage those who wish to share their perspective to reach out at info@fasterskier.com.)

    “In a sport that has so many women with massive shoulders and thighs, Diggins looks like a sprite in her racing suit, and it’s not clear exactly where she gets her power. But the power is there, as she flies up hills, and comes off climactic turns with a burst. On the downhills, she tucks low and cuts through the air,” writes Matt Futterman in his February 8th New York Times coverage of Nordic skier Jessie Diggins’s historic bronze medal win at the Beijing Olympic Games.

    A former college teammate of mine sent me a screenshot of this excerpt with an outraged, “We are past commenting on women’s bodies in sports!!” 

    In a response to Futterman, sportswriter Lori Nickels wrote a piece in USA Today documenting such reactions from female athletes and wondering at their intensity, when men’s bodies are so frequently fodder for sports analysis. 

    As a female athlete and a former collegiate nordic skier, I would like to offer an explanation to Nickels and Futterman and anyone else who may be wondering why this seemingly commonplace commentary is such a big deal.

    Ivy Spiegel Ostrom (bottom left), a ’20 graduate of Williams College, pens a response to the NY Times comment that Jessie Diggins looked like a “sprite” relative to her peers. (Courtesy photo)

    Athletics can be an amazing tool for teaching women how to use their bodies effectively and powerfully; knowing how to become healthier, faster, and stronger is information that our society has historically neglected to teach women, to our great detriment. On the other hand, we are simultaneously receiving programming from nearly every direction that smaller is better, that women with muscles are ugly, they look too much like men, that men won’t find our shapes attractive. And in an appearance-oriented society where women seem to be valued especially for their ability to fit into an idealized category, that is no small thing. Growing up, even as they powered activities that brought me joy and self-worth, my pronounced muscles (“massive shoulders and thighs,” if you will) felt like blemishes. Some days they still do. 

    And that is only half of it. Nordic skiing is a sport in which strength to weight ratios play a role, albeit a small one. However, when so many other factors feel out of their control, that single, tiny factor can loom large in the minds of both male and female competitors. I know all of us have fielded comments from performance-obsessed coaches, our own parents, and often other parents concerning our body types, weights, and emphasizing the advantage of a low body mass. This adds up to a complex of emotions and ideas surrounding food. Endurance athletes are particularly susceptible to disordered eating given their tendency towards self-discipline and performance.  

    I am not saying men and male athletes don’t suffer from similar or analogous notions and prejudices – in fact I would love to open that conversation – but they do display a different level of intensity and contain fewer contradictions. Female athletes really sit at the nexus of a particularly overwhelming complex of ideas and judgments surrounding our bodies. And that is even before mentioning the pressures of sex and the constant threat of sexual assault that every woman feels. It makes us unsure who our bodies really belong to. 

    I am lucky that this dissociation with and antipathy towards my body was relatively mild, and never developed into an eating disorder like it has for many. Regardless, years out of adolescence and competitive racing, I am still trying and often failing to inhabit my own body and trust that it is beautiful no matter the form it takes, that it is my own by right, and that I can’t let others decide how I feel about it or what I do with it. And I am finally learning how hard my teammates, role models, and competitors have also had to fight to avoid this disassociation, to preserve the vital relationships to their bodies that is at the heart of their love for athletics. 

    Ironically, Jessie Diggins herself has been one of the fiercest supporters and advocates for those suffering from eating disorders and has been a key player in raising awareness of the issue. In her memoir, Brave Enough, she writes about her struggle to overcome an eating disorder, which threatened her health and prevented her from competing, culminating in outpatient treatment. She is hardly alone in the work. My high school teammate Julia Burnham, also an eating disorder survivor, is the co-creator of a podcast called Bodies in Motion, chronicling the stories of those – especially female athletes like Jessie – who have experienced eating disorders. A clear and consistent take-away from her discussions is that we need to stop commenting on each other’s bodies. No matter how positive or negative, direct or indirect, these comments generate the feeling that how our bodies look is more important than what we do with them or that what we do with them is more important that the relationship we have with them. 

    Ivy Spiegel Ostrom (top row, third from left), a ’20 graduate of Williams College, pens a response to the NY Times comment that Jessie Diggins looked like a “sprite” relative to her peers. (Courtesy photo)

    This is not meant to be an attack on Futterman. His words were poorly chosen, but we have all made similar comments regarding fellow bodies. I know I have, and I regret them all, for I have felt acutely so many times the detrimental effect of such words. Comments like Futterman’s may have sent my ninth grade self into a well of negative feelings about my body and a bout of obsessive eating. It is sensitive terrain, which means we are all responsible for being aware and careful. 

    So to everyone who may be reading this – and I really mean everyone – if you are ever tempted to make a comment about someone’s body, consider keeping it to yourself. Please. 

     

    About the Author:

    Ivy Spiegel Ostrom grew up skiing in the mountains of Leavenworth, Washington. She went on to ski for Williams College where she majored in English and Environmental Studies. Since graduating in 2020, she has been living in her hometown, indulging in her other favorite sport of rock climbing while learning how to farm and live sustainably.

  • Op-Ed: On the Pervasiveness of Eating Disorders and the Faults of University of Oregon Track & Field Program

    Op-Ed: On the Pervasiveness of Eating Disorders and the Faults of University of Oregon Track & Field Program

    A sunrise trail run overlooking the author’s hometown of Carbondale, CO.

    CONTENT WARNING: This article includes stories of an individual experience with an eating disorder, including numerical values of weight. If you’re struggling, you can contact the NEDA Helpline, which has options for text, chat, or phone support. 

    INTRODUCTION: This opinion piece is a response to some recently publicized experiences of women of the University of Oregon track and field program who were routinely scrutinized for their body composition, underwent DEXA scans to measure body fat percentage multiple times per year, and were assigned additional training if their body fat was above the threshold set by their coach, Robert Johnson, and other staff. They were given the message that their performance and potential were directly tied to these metrics, which led to rampant disordered eating, body dysmorphia, and anxiety among the team. Meanwhile, their coach claimed these tests and individualized training regimens were backed by science, saying: “The health and safety of all our student-athletes is extremely important and at the forefront at all times.”

    It required time to work up the courage to post this narrative. I chose not to use photos of myself from the time period discussed, instead including recent photos that remind me of the rewards that come from being nourished, strong, healthy, and whole. 

    To submit an op-ed or personal essay, email info@fasterskier.com. We fully support open dialogue and feedback.

    ***

    In August of 2011, I got Giardia. I had spent the better part of the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college backpacking, canoeing, and swimming in small ponds throughout the Adirondack Park in northeastern New York, and must have picked it up along the way. While most experience “beaver fever” as a rapid-onset and violent gastrointestinal nightmare, mine was a slow burn: feeling full as soon as I started eating, sharp stomach pains and cramping, a chronic headache, and a few cross country running practices where I was questioning the food from the dining hall. 

    Meanwhile, the unchecked pathogenic colony was slowly festering in my gut, stealing the nutrients from my food, leaving me little to absorb. Consequently, I lost weight. Stepping on the scale at the annual “health check” put on by the athletic department, I saw that I weighed 119 pounds, which was roughly 5-10 pounds lighter than my normal set point. I was being complimented by my peers for how fit I looked, and my times were steadily improving. This germinated dormant seeds in my perfectionist mind that being “good” at running was directly tied to the number on the scale, and the seeds began to grow like a weed. 

    It wasn’t that I had put in a solid summer of training, it was the weight. 119 pounds was good, but I’d look more like a runner if I weighed 115 pounds.

    Midway through the season, I had bloody diarrhea just before a race, and called my parents freaking out. A few days later, a stool test confirmed that I had Giardia and I was given antibiotics to get rid of it. 

    I panicked. If being sick was causing the weight loss, would killing the parasites in my gut mean I would undo all of the “progress” I had made toward being a good athlete? I became obsessed with exerting control over what I was eating. I went gluten free and vegan, making it nearly impossible for me to eat with others. I continued to PR through the end of the season, then I all but disappeared. 

    To be clear, I was blessed with supportive parents who put zero pressure on my siblings and me when it came to sports. At both the high school and collegiate level, I had wonderful coaches who fostered a healthy and supportive team environment with no discussion or pressure surrounding how we ate or what our bodies looked like. My only memory of my college coach commenting on someone’s body was to say he was concerned about a male athlete on the team whose eyes, he felt, appeared “gaunt and a little bit haunted” at that point in the season. 

    This was all at a Division III school with no track program, and USCSA-level skiing — not the pressure cooker of Division I programs that were more centered on competition and results. The coaches embodied a healthy lifestyle that was built around a love for endurance sports, and I still admire them. 

    But as Jessie Diggins said when discussing her own experience with an eating disorder, “Genetics loads the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger.” Even without being told outright that leaner is faster, or being instructed to lose weight for performance, athletes can fall into these lonely and unhealthy traps. 

    The author on Frigidaire Pass along the roughly 26 mile Four Pass Loop outside of Aspen, a Colorado classic. (Photo: Kate Phillips)

    In my case, I was feeling mounting pressure to know the answer to the question: “What are your plans for after college?” The end of undergrad was looming, I had no answer, and I didn’t know how to cope. Meanwhile, I was topping out the levels of rigor and challenge offered at the undergraduate level with an applied math course load, and constant focus on maintaining my GPA heightened my anxiety. My friends were getting internships and applying to jobs, and I just wanted to run and ski and have everything stay the same. 

    It was also the early days of social media and blogging, which were feeding me indirect but clear messages about what other athletes looked like, what they ate on Wednesdays, and how to make any dessert I used to enjoy “healthier” to reduce the number of calories I was consuming. A decade later, almost everyone has a smartphone and these influences have become even more toxic. 

    When I reached 115 pounds, it wasn’t enough. Surprise, surprise. 

    I was switching over to ski season and building training volume, all while meticulously counting calories and restricting my caloric intake. I bought a scale, which might as well have been a set of shackles. On Thanksgiving, my concerned older brother tried to pile extra turkey and stuffing onto my carefully portioned plate, and I melted down. 

    My relationships with friends and family were strained. Everyone was worried and I just wanted them to stay the f**k out of my way. I was depressed, I cried myself to sleep most nights, and I couldn’t convince myself to stop starving my body, simultaneously finding comfort in the emptiness and hating the shell of myself that I had become. This is what being trapped inside an eating disorder is like.

    During the nordic season, I was so fatigued that I avoided skiing with others. I couldn’t keep my body warm, regardless of how many layers I was wearing. I was slowly slipping backward in race results. I was constantly getting sick. One day, at my self-imposed morning weigh-in, my five foot six inch skeletal frame weighed 98 pounds, and I felt desperately frail. I broke down crying. I had lost 30 pounds within five months. What was I doing to myself? Maybe I’d just try to hover here rather than continuing to strive for a smaller body. I didn’t want to die.

    At USCSA Nationals in 2012, on the opening day of racing, I didn’t qualify for the heats for the classic sprint. I was devastated. My body had no muscle for double poling. I was on empty. 

    Over the next eight months, I began to see a counselor. I met with doctors, and I managed to improve my physical health, but I lacked sufficient holistic support to truly overcome the disease. I was on a rollercoaster of binge–purge cycles, feeling like my body was taking over and forcing me to eat manically. I would then try to starve myself through extra training in the subsequent days to “balance it out”, perpetuating the cycle. It was scary and embarrassing and incredibly uncomfortable. 

    The next fall, I was training harder than ever for cross country running and finally making progress again. The night before the regional meet, our team went to Applebee’s for dinner, which listed the calorie content of meals on its menu. I picked whatever had the fewest: a small portion of rice, some broiled white fish, and some steamed veggies. I “treated” myself to a Luna Bar before bed as dessert. The next day, it was like someone had filled my legs with cement, and I ran my worst time of the season. 

    ***

    Ten years later, I feel healthy, whole, and empowered, and my primary goal in life has become ensuring my daughter does not go through the same hell that I did. There are years missing from this story. Getting to this point has taken work, and it has been far from a linear progression of recovery. It’s ongoing, and it’s messy, and it’s all too common. 

    Simultaneously, by learning about female athlete physiology and working with my body instead of attempting to squeeze it into an extra small, I am far stronger, faster, and more durable than I was when I weighed less. My mind is well enough to care far more about what my body can do than whether it looks like a magazine cover, and I’m happier because of it. I get to explore my potential as an athlete who is supporting her training with plenty of fuel. And my body is healthy and durable enough to support countless long and burly adventures in the mountains on skis and on foot that I could not have dreamed of at 21.

    Most importantly, after healing from five years of amenorrhea, my body grew a small-but-mighty human being, who inspires more joy and love than I can put into words. 

    The author with her daughter following a ski race on Colorado’s Grand Mesa.

    As women in sport, we’ve come a long way, thanks to the strong women who have spoken out and taken action to support the physical and mental wellbeing of their successors. Reading the stories from the women of the Oregon who were subjected to direct messages from the coaching and support staff that they could not achieve their potential without attaining unrealistic, unhealthy, and unsustainable body composition goals feels like a giant step backward; it is a disheartening reminder of how unhealthy cancerous appendages of sport systems remain.

    One woman shared that the metric she was recommended to attain was 13% body fat. It is estimated that 10-12% of fat on a woman’s body is “essential fat”, which cushions organs (like the heart), serves in nerve tissue, and performs other functions vital to physiological function. Most women require at least 22-25% body fat for fertility, i.e., optimal physical and hormonal health to support a pregnancy. 13% body fat is dangerous to an athlete’s immediate and long term health. 

    Amenorrhea, or the loss of menstruation, is dubbed the canary in the coal mine for a host of ailments associated with RED-S, including low bone density, impaired immune and cognitive function, and risk of cardiovascular disease. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

    My story may not seem similar to those the women of Oregon shared; I had only positive experiences with coaches who ultimately didn’t care how fast I was. My point is that athletes — of any gender — don’t need coaches or systems to tip the scales. Endurance athletes often already exhibit Type-A tendencies; we like to track hours, watts, mileage, heart rate, and to nerd out on technique. We always want more from ourselves, to explore the limits of our potential. 

    These problems are pervasive, and they are certainly not limited to the top tiers of sport. Indeed, one recent study found no difference in the prevalence of restrictive eating, menstrual dysfunction, primary amenorrhea, or injuries between elite and recreational female athletes across a sample set of over 800 athletes. 

    Think this isn’t relevant in the ski world? Widespread disordered eating behavior among Norwegian skiers of all levels has been documented over the last two decades, and the Swedish news outlet Expressen recently quoted Russian coach Yuri Borodavko expressing his dissatisfaction with Natalia Nepryeava’s weight heading into the season.

    “She should weigh 62-63 kilos to perform optimally, but right now her weight stands in the way of her development,” he reportedly told Match TV. “She has to fight to lose weight to be able to perform well in the Olympics.”

    A snowy fall trail run with strong female adventure buddies. (Photo: Lina Sutro)

    Coaches at any level have a responsibility to guard their athletes from the deleterious effects of RED-S, not to set the stage for them.

    Especially at an age where bodies are changing rapidly (aka puberty), flush with hormones, and transitioning into an adult state, coaches should not be steering athletes toward interrupting these processes with fat loss. There should not be regular weigh-ins, or extra unproductive training to lean out. 

    According to Johnson, athletes are simply part of a numbers game. “A good mathematician probably could be a good track coach,” he told The Oregonian. 

    I’ve got a math degree, and I call bullshit. What about all of the intangible elements that lead to individual and team success? The women and men in his program deserve so much more than this treatment. 

    Chronic low energy availability, i.e., not eating enough to match the energy output of training, has been proven to decrease training response, muscle strength, and endurance. In the long term, essentially all metabolic, musculoskeletal, and endocrinological systems are affected. This equates to a brief spike in performance coinciding with the initial weight loss, followed by at best a plateau, and at worse injury, low bone density, and being so depressed and broken that the athlete leaves the sport altogether. The equation does not check out. How do the numbers support athletes starving themselves to achieve a body composition goal? How does this support athletes in a sport where professionals are peaking a decade or more after college? Is the real goal to see how fast an athlete can get before shit hits the fan?

    What if instead of running athletes through a physical and mental gauntlet to see who could achieve the best results in college without breaking, coaches fostered the fire and love of sport in their athletes? What if they helped athletes focus on their long-term goals and to see the bigger picture?

    So many already have the wiring for anxiety and disordered eating. The coach or program should not be pulling the trigger.

    Athletes need support. They need positive role models. They need access to information from a registered dietitian who can help them fuel their body for performance and health. They need a well-rounded team culture that cares about each athlete as an individual who matters more than the number on the scale or the time on the results page. This needs to happen at all ages and levels, no matter the stakes of the competition. 

    They need to be told that short term gains are never worth risking long term physical or mental health. 

    Coaches: Discuss the importance of maintaining a regular period with your athletes. Show examples of women who have achieved their best after seeking help and returning to health, like Elise Cranny and Katie Rainsberger. Show Jessie Diggins and Molly Seidel holding Olympic medals as well-fueled athletes in recovery from eating disorders. Show Nell Rojas as the top American at the 2021 Boston Marathon despite being told she does not look like a distance runner.

    I hope the world of endurance sports collectively shifts toward supporting the athlete as a whole person. And I hope adding my voice to the many women speaking out helps nudge the boulder a little further up the hill.

    A well-fueled body means more energy to enjoy days like this one. (Photo: Laura Puckett Daniels)

    Related Listening and Reading:

     

  • Request for Participation: A Survey on Eating Disorders in Cross-Country Skiing

    Last month we were contacted by Lilo Bean, an undergraduate at Bowdoin College, to inform readers about her research project. Bean and a faculty adviser are collecting data from an anonymous survey to investigate eating disorders in cross-country skiing. The survey is open to those 18 and older and is linked below. This study is being conducted by Lilo Bean, a student at Bowdoin College. The Faculty Advisor for this study is Professor Crystal Hall of the Digital and Computational Studies Department at Bowdoin College.

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    Eating disorders have gained a lot of attention in the skiing community in recent years, instigated largely in part by Olympic champion Jessie Diggins openly talking about her struggle with an eating disorder.

    It’s unsurprising that in a sport like skiing, where athletes’ bodies are on display and a focus of high performance, that disordered eating is common (population study of Norwegian adolescent cross-country skiers & disordered eating). However, there is still a lot still unknown about the why, how, and what of eating disorders in skiing.

    Under the Digital and Computational Studies (DCS) Department, we (Lilo Bean under the guidance of Professor Crystal Hall) are conducting an independent study to examine the prevalence of eating disorders/disordered eating in nordic skiing. Digital and computational methods and analysis are creating the ability and opportunity to address new questions and data sets, and adding new perspectives to the core questions that have always concerned the humanities, social sciences, and natural & physical sciences. Using data analysis tools, DCS enables us to uncover new findings and meaning — within texts, news media, or social media — that would otherwise have remained hidden.

    We are asking if you would take about 15 minutes to complete a survey for this research project. Participation is completely voluntary and your answers will be anonymous.

    If you are interested, please click on the link for the survey and additional information: Survey link.

    If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact lbean@bowdoin.edu. Thank you for consideration,

    Lilo Bean

    Undergraduate at Bowdoin College